Out in Work
Aug 13th, 2008 | By HAL | Category: This and That
I just started a new job which is going pretty well so far, time will tell though as I’ve only been here 3 days.
It’s a large computer corporation, so if you can imagine a huge open plan office set out in quardants, that’s us.
There is a team of around 12 people I work closely with and they all seem like decent folk, giving me lots of time and all saying “if you’ve any questions, just ask”. Sound.
So, how/when do I come out?
Now, I’m in my 30s and have been out longer than I was in, so my sexuality isn’t an issue for me. In my last job I was out, as were the other 2 queers in the office. Here, it’s all unknown.
I feel like I’m in my 20s again!! In one sense, it’s kind of nice to have to come out to someone - it’s been so long it’s almost nostalgic :) However, there is the very real issue of homophobia.
The company has a fantastic policy in this area, so it’s not the higher-ups I have to worry about, just the folks who I work with day-to-day. This could all be moot, I could be surrounded by queers!
It’s just, how do I do it? Drape a rainbow flag over my desk? Talk animatedly about herbal tea? Bring in photos of my recent holiday with my partner?
Watch this space……
I know how you feel, I was out in my last job but it took me over 2 years to come out in my current position. In the end I used the pronoun game, saying “she” for my other half of the time. This was only possible when I got a girlfriend of course. It’s tougher when you’re single cause it’s harder to slip into a conversation.
My advice would be to feel out a people first, let them get to know you for you and if you feel comfortable then just use your partners name or something, you don’t actually have to give a speech
Well I did it. Okay, only to one person but I get the feeling it could travel!
I ended up saying something stupid like I love you. No seriously, I was asked who I live with and said “my partner I’m gay let’s just get that over with”. Now I’m thinking too aggressive……
Gah!
I don’t think there is any casual, composed way of coming out to work colleagues - my experience is of feeling my heart beat slightly faster as I mutter something about my girlfiriend, and then preparing to ride out the few minutes of awkwardness by anticipating comments like “oh! I had no idea! or “sorry, your what?!
Thankfully such incidents are 5 always minute wonders in my experience:)
It’s always worth it in the long run however, as it reduces the need to answer questions about “my boyfriend” , from people who assume I am straight!
Isn’t it such a stress though? And for something that has nothing to do with work at all. Well obviously it could have an effect on interaction with colleagues if they have a problem.
Anyway, I dropped the pink bomb. Looking forward to hearing what people say when I use the ‘girlfriend’ word now…..