Monday to Friday, September 1 to 5

This week’s combing through the TV listings sees a few gems pop up. As usual we’re spoilt for choice with women from all colours of the rainbow on the box. Oh I kill me! As usual, if I’ve missed something please let me know.

Monday

Legends: A profile of jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald. Ok she’s not gay, but who hasn’t had Ella on when getting comfy with their lady love? BBC2 at 7pm.

The Accused: Oscar-winning performance from the one and only Jodie in a moving true story about a woman let down by the courts after being raped in a bar. Film4 at 10.55pm

Blade: Telly series ‘inspired’ by the films about the Daywalker – a vampire who can face the sun. There is much lesbian tom-foolery, which is probably the only thing the series had going for it – it bombed in the states. TV3 at 1.35am

Tuesday

The Truth About Cats and Dogs: Silly modern remake of Cyrano de Bergerac in which always-watchable Janeane Garofalo falls for Ben Chaplin but he has the hots for Uma Thurman. Watch it with mates and rewrite it in your head – you just know Janeane and Uma would be better off if the English bloke would leave them to it. Sky Movie Comedy at 3.15pm and 10pm

A Few Good Men: Forget about the men and do your best to ignore Gilette-Ad Tom Cruise, this is all about Demi Moore in that uniform. Sky Movies Drama at 8pm

GAA Beo: Highlights of the Ladies’ Football championships quarter-finals. If you missed the matches on Saturday, set your timer and catch up. TG4 at 12.55am.

Wednesday

Wilde: Excellent telling of the trial and downfall of Oscar Wilde. Jude Law plays Bosie and the fabulous Stephen Fry is the Wilde man. Sky Movie Modern Greats at 3.30pm

She’s the Man: Recent teen movie which has a young queer cult-following. The always-charming Amanda Bynes plays Viola, a girl who dresses as a guy and then falls in love with some poor, unsuspecting bloke. Not hugely intellegent but enjoyably gender-bending stuff. Sky Movie Family at 8pm

Lost in Austen: This sounds like it could be fun. Amanda (played by the lesbian in Hex, Jemima Roper) switches places with Jane Austen’s character Elizabeth Bennett. UTV at 9pm

Blade Trinity: Silly vampire slaying stuff, but check out Jessica Biel – fwwwaaar! Film4 at 9pm

The 11-Year Old Beauty Queen: If you need to re-ignite your feminist flame, watch this documentary about Sasha Bennington who is brain-washed by her parents into thinking that looks and money are all in life. They let these people be parents while we can’t? Grrrrr…..TV3 at 10pm

The Perfect Vagina: I didn’t think there was a imperfect one, but apparently there are women in the UK undergoing cosmetic surgery on their most private parts. Channel 4 at 11pm

The L Word: Season 3 re-showing of the show we love to bitch about, while completely hooked. Channel 6 at 11.25pm

Thursday

Johnny Guitar: Iconic Joan Crawford flick (the one where she wears that cowboy outfit). Sky Movies Classics at 10.50am

Black Narcissus: Excellent oldie about a group of nuns setting up a school in the Himalayas. Sexual repression starts to tear the community apart but the implacable Sister Clodagh (Deborah Kerr and her awful Irish accent) try to keep things together. Channel 4 at 1.30pm

The Accused: Oscar-winning performance from the one and only Jodie in a moving true story about a woman let down by the courts after being raped in a bar. Film4 at 1.50am

Friday

Fire: are two women living in modern India. Living in arranged marriages, they have nothing in common with their husbands and eventually look to one another for love and comapssion. Film that was banned in India for its depiction of lesbianism. Sky Movies Indie at 10.40am

A Queer Try: A new series following the Ulster Titans – Northern Ireland’s gay rugby team. Fab! BBC1 at 9.30pm.

The Good Shepherd: Slow-moving, heavy-handed tale of the beginning of the CIA in America. Matt Damon is badly miscast in the main role but the sapphic interest here is Miss Angelina. Yumm! She’s not in it enough, but when she is radiates. As usual. Sky Movie Drama at 5pm

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