For any of you who, like me, still have a sizeable chunk of festive shopping to do here are a few of the more enticing/novel/absurd/hilarious ideas which I’ve come across in recent weeks. 

Calendars

From sepia-toned dalliances on satin-sheets to monthly menstrual charts of lunar cycles, there is a calendar for every lady this festive season. First, there is the Provocateur calendar of lady-on-lady sensuality as photographed by Renée Jacobs. For the woman-of-the-woodlands in your life, there is the We’Moon 2009 datebook which features a lunar calendar and a handbook on natural rhythm, plus some international women’s artwork to boot on its pages. Hell, if female mechanics are your thing then there’s one for you too! The cover however looks more like a technical manual than a kinky calendar though. Love The L Word or loathe it, we’ve all got our favourite—whether it’s Shane or Alice, Bette or Max—and there’s the 2009 wall calendar to keep the most fervent or tepid fan happy for the next 12 months. However, A search for female firefighters, gardaí or rugby players yielded no results for Irish shoppers this Christmas. We’re also holding out for the 2010 pressing of the the RTÉ News & Current Affairs team featuring Miriam O’Callaghan and Sharon Ní Bheoláin.

Sew, you like Vaginas
On a scale of one-to-bizarrest, this collection of gems over at Etsy.com surely rate in the upper echelons of the unusual. For starters, you could order your beloved/s some anatomically accurate, if not outright informative, vaginal notepaper (on 8 different card colours, no less). Or perhaps, you know someone who possesses a “Vagina that loves magic, unicorns and magical unicorns”, in which case, these environmentally-sound and compact sanitary towels are a must. And of course, there’s this tongue-in-cheek (oops, that sounded more risqué than intended… but let’s role with it) plush cushion. When the cushion faces one way, it is a perfectly pleasant denim, the other side however features a hand-crafted label which is sure to have houseguests eyes out-on-sticks. A brilliant piece of home decor for the more tricksy pixie among us!

Rock Star Cuff

Allegedly a lesbian in the 1950s would indicate her sexual orientation with a tattoo of a star on the inside of a wrist. This would only be cognisable to fellow lesbians, who would of course be in-the-know. These cuffs are now available for $20 (plus tax) from lesbian-owned and The L Word acknowledged Rigged Out/fitters. From houndstooth fedoras to tuxedo shirts, this site caters to all the Stateside and international lesbian fashionistas.

Homogenius: LGBTrivial Pursuit

Here’s one for all the family (or at least the relatives who are also friends of Dorothy…although the makers’ website does say it’s safe enough to play with your mother), Homogenius is a quiz-style boardgame in which the objective is to proffer as many correct answers as possible and, therefore, “get out of the closet”. 

The Version Maddow-na?

And for the politico-present recipients, there are a few items available this holiday season. For instance, one of the highlights of the recent U.S. presidential election was surely XM Satellite Radio and MSNBC TV commentator, Rachel Maddow. If you haven’t heard of her, she is not just the first lesbian but the first gay person to come out about their sexuality, while attempting to enter the Western news and current affairs circuit of political commentary. Fans have been busy producing t-shirts, mugs, mousemats and what not in celebration of their favourite political anchor. 

These are just a handful of the abundance of treats out there. If you’ve seen something that belongs on this list, please post it below!

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