The time of Samhain is nigh, when ghouls and ghosties come out to play. The vamps get nipping, the werewolves biting and straight women dress as Playboy bunnies – scary! If the usual inappropriate approximations of fictional characters aren’t your idea of the perfect Hollowe’en outfit, let us help you don the best in lesbian couture.

Sappho

Who better to dress as than the woman who named us? Have muses thrust themselves toward you, have, strike down the unwanted with your sweet lyricism. Not only do you get to look angelic, but your whole body is covered and let’s face it, who wants to freeze their ass off in the middle of October? Plus, if someone else wears the same outfit (that’d be a tragedy of Greek proportions) you can say you’re Aphrodite.

You can purchase the outfit for €100 at The Costume Shop, there is also a version for sale for €41 from Fancy Costume. The blonde isn’t included.

You can probably rent one too. But ladies, ladies, we are lesbians, watch us sew! Throw a white sheet around you and tie a load of gold ribbon around your waist and Roberta’s your aunt!

Slave Girl

Here’s a novel idea! If you and your other half fancy heading out as a pair, this is the perfect accompaniment to the Sappho. You can rent on at Clown Around or get thee to a ripped sheet. Leaving the house is optional.

Gangster and Moll

Another couple of swells could be the gangster and moll duo. Again, feel free not to leave the bedroom. However, this is a great chance to show just how dapper you can be; one of you gets to flourish a feather boa while the other flicks her fedora. So to speak.

Should a group of you be heading out together, go as a mafia crew, all spiffing spats and munching matchsticks. I defy you not to score. Any of your local fancy dress emporia should have gangster stuff to rent, I know Clown Around do as well as Dublin Costumes.

Velma

For some of us dressing up as Velma is as simple as getting an orange poloneck, the skirt is at the back of the wardrobe already and the hair and glasses are everyday occurrences. Who am I kidding, I’m wearing the shoes as I type.

Watch out with this one. If you look as beautiful as Velma most days (cough), people won’t think you’re dressed-up, leading to much ego bruising and many hours scrutinising your reflection in the mirror. You have been warned. If you still think you can manage is Fancy Costumes have one available for €42.99. It’s also available to rent from Clown Around.

Xena

What? Sure you’d have to. There are hundreds of variations on warrior princess outfits around and you could spend an absolute fortune getting everything just perfect, if you were so inclined. In Ireland though, a good one is in, again, Clown Around under the Hero section.

This is a hard one to pull together if you don’t happen to have a mile of leather and a strong sewing machine in your vicinity. You could wrap some dirty, grey sheets around you and say that you’re Xena in The Fates Collide and are about to be crucified, not that I’m a Xena geek or anything. Carrying the cross around would be a pain in the neck though.

What about our Battling Bard? Dressing up as Gabby is a much easier proposition, depending on the incarnation you choose. Early Gabs is one for the large sized among us – all flow of skirt and long of locks. From then on, as her abs get tighter, her clothes shrink. Not that that’s a bad thing.

If you’re just not in the mood to party but are being dragged someplace, grab a bucket and tie it around your neck with some rope. When people ask, tell them you’re the Well of Loneliness.