For the benefit of our readers who may not be familiar, there is The Late Late Toy Show (an annual Irish institution); and there’s even The Manky Toy Show.

But now, Gaelick brings you:

The Lez Lez Toy Show

.
These are the top toys as chosen by Gaelick’s very own Gaelickers. Our favourite deluxe dildos, sublime strap-ons, mechanical love-muscles, vanishing vibrators. ..And so on.. Let us begin!

HAL: Rub Her Ducky

No one will ever come to our apartment and think the rubber ducks are ‘cute’ anymore. Fnarr!

For sale from Sh! online and in London, here’s the blurb:

This genius little guy must have been created by someone who has kids around the house. It looks like a rubber ducky, it swims like a rubber ducky but boy is there more to this fella than his quack. Just squeeze the back of your little friend for some deep ‘personal massage’ time and have a great buzz in the shower/bath. Plus, no one will ever know that underneath its meek, funtime exterior is a wicked lady-pleasure beast. […]

And if a plain Jane duckie just isn’t fabulous enough for you, how about the Paris Duckie? The ultimate femme waiting to please you.

Slayer: Rampant Rabbit Elite

It’s a classic. Love the rampant rabbit élite. Super-quiet, lots of functions and perfect for beginners. ; )

Gooner: Nip and Suck

Having been googling for ages (no jokes down the back, please) – and looking for something that doesn’t look like a penis, which may also be something for the single ladies – I bring you these fabulous nipple suckers.

Ain’t they something?

Annie Aura: Mango Juicer

The Mango Juicer (TM) is in some ways bizarre. And not a mango juicer, at all, we’ll have you know. There should be a song about it: “Mango Juicers: Sex-toys in disguiiise..”

In fact, the Mango Juicer was created to give women afflicted with clitorectomies an alternate route to sexual pleasure. Its inventor, Samantha Bachman, is a passionate campaigner against FGM (female genital mutilation). She has worked extensively on behalf of women in Majority World countries in relation to vaginal hygiene, sex education and menstruation, thus earning her affectionate nickname “The Vagina Doctor.”

And a portion of the profits from the sale of the Mango Juicer goes toward the education and elimination of FGM.

Go, purchase!

Orange:

This one’s for the fitness freaks among you. And I choose that phrase carefully..

We all know that great sex is great exercise, but now there’s an opportunity to really combine the two. If you like, like. Some genius has invented a gym-ball to which you can attach a variety of vibrators, dildos and butt-plugs. And they’re available in “his” and “hers” (appropriately colour co-ordinated, of course. Heaven forefend that the man who wants to sit on a giant inflatable ball-avec-dildo is sitting on one that’s pink!).

Anyway, here’s where you can find em: Sexerciseball (geddit?!).

Click Here:

Oh my God. It’s the OhMiBod!

The OhMiBod is a product range of – get this – vibrators that plug into your iPod, and then vibe away according to what music you’re currently playing. They even have a wireless version. Plus, you can buy sex-toy hampers from their website.

It may not send your eyes rolling if you’re a Vivaldi fan, but anything up-tempo is likely to produce interesting results.

Love it!

Tabula Rasa:

Let’s not forget every lesbian’s friend, the strap-on. (Well, not every lesbian’s a fan, but they are popular..!) There are many types of strap-on harness available, from (ahem) durable leather corset types, to quick and convenient slip-ons. Then, just mix-and-match your dildo of choice!

Bear:

For all the enjoyment that toys and sex brings you, never forget to lube, lube, lube! Otherwise that fun may not last, and your “Ooh” may become “Ow”.

There are all kinds of varieties for all kinds of activities. Sh! has a range available online here.

Optical Mouse:

And, of course, always remember to play safe. Depending on who and what you’re doing, there are any number of condoms, dental dams and gloves available to keep you and your partner from transmitting any nasties.

Well, when I say they are available, they may be a damn sight difficult to find (apart from the condoms, but of course) in Ireland. Once again, however, the women at Sh! come to our rescue!

So, off with you now, and have some festive fun!

• New to sex toys?

Popularity: 5% [?]

No related posts.