Last week I spied a story reminiscent of that esteemed periodical The Onion, except that it was in the Guardian, and it was no joke.  After years of me making fun of vague, coy and kinda bizarre TV commercials for tampons and sanitary towels (Or “feminine hygiene products”, as they are known  down in the supermarket),  US manufacturer of same, Kotex, have launched some ads for a new product which pokes fun at the euphemistic advertisements for all that gear (as my brother would say).  Except that the ads in their original form were rejected by all the major US networks for mentioning the word… vagina.  Even when substituted with the harmless enough “down there”, it still didn’t get the green light, so apparently all reference was dropped, which is hardly the point of the whole endeavour, is it?

Here’s what was allowed to air.

Funny stuff alright, but I’m left thinking about the censorship of ads like these, and the reasons for it.  A head honcho at Kotex noted that the very same TV networks seem to have no issue with airing ads for Viagra and the like, which refer to erectile dysfunction, so why the double standard?  Why indeed, Kotex spokesperson!

Of course, if your period involves tiny bumper cars, that’s no problem.  No need to consult a doctor (or even a mechanic), because you can buy a…um… hygiene product to…ah … help with that…

Those crafty Aussies almost get away with it, looks like it’s ok to say “down there” down under…

Here’s one with a bit more honesty… could maybe save a life even…

Enough!  I’m going out on a limb here and assuming that it might be men that have issue with these ads, these products, periods, vaginas… VAGINAS!  VAGINAS!  The blue liquid, I’m sure, was a guy’s idea too.  Perhaps somewhere there’s a company whose head of panty liner advertising is a woman, and maybe (god love her) she gets blue periods, but I’m fairly sure that it’s the lads that are coming up with these lame ads (bumper cars and beaver jokes?  Really?) , so we shouldn’t be falling down with shock that any reference to female genitalia is forbidden on television.

So is it media censorship or just a storm in a moon cup?!  Women seem to be getting on with it, (hopefully) nobody is relying on these ads for actual instruction or guidance, so why not just laugh and get on with life?  Or do you hear that little voice in your head scream and shout when a commercial wishes you “Have a happy period”?   Let me know what you think!

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