Here at Gaelick towers, we care about our readers and commenters. We want to know what you think, how you feel, where you stand. But we also want to make sure that You. Are. Well.

With a rake of Pride festivals coming up around Ireland, including tomorrow’s Dublin Pride (sorry, Corkonians, whose Pride madness has already passed us by!), we feel it is important that you go forth from that closet – or simply step further away from that closet-shaped blip on the horizon – entirely prepared.

With this in mind we’ve come up with the following list of essential items that you will need for enjoying your Pride to the fullest. Do not leave home without them.

If we’ve left anything out, let us know in the comments!

Flags

To really get into the spirit of Pride, at least one rainbow flag is a must. Whether it’s a modest banner on the scale of a desk ornament; or a fluttering standard that wouldn’t look out of place on a flagpole; or, indeed, the mammoth Pride flag that has become an indispensable part of Pride celebrations in Ireland. The rainbow flag symbolises who we, LGBTQ and friends are: we are many and we are one.

Whistle

No parade or march or demo is complete without one. Least of all an event which is celebratory and festive. People need to hear you before they see you. And unless you actually are The George pub’s bus, you will pass by unnoticed if you are whistleless. (And don’t even think of taking along a vuvuzela, or you’re going daaan, biatch. …And not in a good way.)

Sun Cream & Sunglasses

There have been miserably rainy Pride parades – but, to our young reader folk, I can assure you that in my 10 years of marching the majority of parades have been scorchio! This year looks to be a bit iffy and not quite following last year’s sizzler, if Met Éireann (and weather.com and Yahoo!) are to be believed. The temperatures are set to be around 20 degrees Celsius, and the weather partly sunny with a chance of showers in the afternoon.

Umbrella

So maybe throw in an auld umbrella along with the suncream.

Water

Whatever the weather, if the temperatures are going to be warm – and if you intend on having a tipple during the day and evening – stay hydrated! Pick up a bottle or two while passing a shop along the route, and certainly have one to hand if you’re headed into the post-parade show in the Civic Offices Amphitheatre.

Threads and Accessories

Honey, if you haven’t already washed, dried and ironed your fabulous outfit for Saturday’s parade, don’t even bother showing up. *snap-snap-snap*

Protection

Ladies and lads: We know that, as the evening wears on, and perhaps a drop or two of alcohol passes your lips, there is an off-chance that you could become amorous and in search of a bit o’ the lovin’.

Women: if you can’t use dental dams (since they appear to be some form of unobtanium in Ireland), it is possible to fashion one from a condom. Simply snip off the top with a scissors and cut open the wee feller, and presto. It may sound like a bit of a mood killer, but better a moment of awkwardness than a lifetime of lip-herpes. Yum.

Men: use condoms. Jesus Christ, lads. LINKY.

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