If you’re thinking of starting a family, you’ve probably had a look at websites aimed at people who are trying to conceive. For women who don’t routinely have sex with men, getting pregnant requires some planning, so we have a lot to learn from women who’ve had trouble conceiving, despite their sperm-on-tap existence.

When you find these sites, it’s like a whole new world out there — complete with their very own dialect. It’s intriguing from an anthropological standpoint, but infuriating when you want to just pop in and read everything quickly.

Some of the most common expressions are:

BD = Baby Dance (sex)

BBT = Basal Body Temperature

2WW = the 2 week wait (the period of time you have to wait before you can take a test)

BFP = Big Fat Positive (what we’re all hoping for)

BFN = Big Fat Negative (dreaded negative pregnancy result)

DPO = Days Post-Ovulation (eg. I’m 12 DPO and I got my BFP)

TTC = Trying to conceive

(and my favourite:)

POASA = Pee on a stick addict (women who use a lot of ovulation and pregnancy test sticks!)

There are more, of course.

It’s like a whole other world.

At this end, preparations are well underway. It’s our first attempt. I’m trying to think of it as “practice”. It hasn’t stopped me being irrational and emotional about it.

At the advice of some people who commented, I’ve purchased some Soft Cups. After further research, I’ve purchased some Pre-Seed as well.

Soft Cups are a disposable menstrual cup product that sit very near your cervix. They’ve become popular for people who are TTC because if you insert one after inserting the semen, it holds the wee swimmers right where they need to be and you can go about your day. Anecdotally, there seems to be a huge advantage to using them. If you google Soft Cups and fertility, you’ll find story after story of women who’ve managed to conceive finally using  Soft Cups. (lots of BFPs)

Some people worry about inserting them. It wasn’t a big deal for me, because I use a menstrual cup for my periods anyway. I did find the Soft Cups looked huge and intimidating, but were actually easier to insert and remove than my usual cup. I’d been planning on using my menstrual cup in the same way, but now I realise it doesn’t sit anywhere near as high, so it wouldn’t be as effective.

Some people put the semen directly into the Soft Cup and then insert it. I tried with a small amount of water and it spilled everywhere. We’ll do it the other way, so.

Pre-Seed is marketed as a lubricant that is “sperm-friendly”, but a lot of people have said that it mimics good cervical mucus and can help if you use it along with your insemination attempt. Can’t hurt.

And despite my internal mantra to relax, relax, relax, I’m nervous — really nervous. If I manage to ovulate this month it’ll be through divine intervention.

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