5 Comments

  1. hal

    God no! Don’t talk to your parents first unless you have a particularly supportive relationship with them. Maybe you know that they’ll be fine, then go ahead.
    But most people? No flipping way!
    Go to BeLonG To/local gay youth organisation, go to the internet, go to your friends, or brothers/sisters. Only when you are secure in yourself, go to your parents. They’ll need your support not the other way around.

  2. j

    Definitely not your parents. You need a lot of strength to deal with them so only do it when you are ready. They spend a lot of time feeling quite sorry for themselves and asking why me rather than realising that you need their support and providing it. Dealing with them is hard even if they are very liberal and very close to you.
    Tell one friend or tell the one person you can think of who will (a) keep it secret until you are ready to be open (b) respond very positively to your news.
    It’s much easier to come out if the initial feedback is positive.
    That said, the first people you should come out to are those in the gay community. It’s a fantastic environment, diverse supportive and caring. We’ve all been there so ask one of us or tell us. There are so many resources available to you, like the gay switchboard/Dublin Lesbian Line and the meetup groups in the Outhouse, or sports groups at OutinIreland.net…or running Amach on meetup.com – for LGBTQ women. You’re first point of call has to be someone supportive, even if that person is a complete stranger to you.
     

  3. mel

    Not the parents first!  Maybe in years to come when we reach some kind of utopia but no definitly not the parents or anyone you have to live with for that matter.  Its such a massive deal and unless you are really close to a sibling etc I would say not to tell even them at the start.  Its not easy if you live somewere without a lot of support so I would advise to say it to a friend as I did or more specificly I dropped massive hints that Angie rather than Brad did it for me.  Take the time and don’t be rushed regardless of how, when or whom you tell.  Some genies can’t be put back into the bottle.

  4. okitty

    Insane!!  I know of so many kids kicked out of the home for coming out, vulnerable kids whose lives were ruined by their parents’ homophobia.  Safety first!  I came out to my parents in 1991 and they still are not comfortable with it.  It really would be lovely if all parents were sane and supportive, but sadly, they are not.  And they are generally the very last thing a young person coming out needs to deal with.  Go to a peer support group.  Pick up a queer magazine.  Check the web.  But unless you have really exceptional parents, have a very solid support network in place before you come out to them.  My girlfriend and a good friend basically stood outside staring in the window when I came out to my parents in case they went completely psycho.

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