Becoming The Mammy, part 4: Is it ok to crowdsource sperm?
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Crowdsourcing: delegating a task to a large diffuse group, usually without monetary compensation
This is getting pretty tedious. I mean at first, it was a little bit interesting. There was stuff to learn, cycles to track, temperatures to take.
Now, it’s getting annoying. Trying to co-ordinate my body’s schedule with the schedule of our sperm-donor is — at best — awkward. At worst, it’s almost futile.
The more socially unacceptable side of me keeps thinking I should try and find a donor anonymously on the internet. A Twitter account would be all I’d need to find the sperm donor of our dreams, right?
But, local is a huge plus. Co-ordinating schedules is less of a mess then. Then again, local would freak me out a bit as well. Would seeing the child on a regular basis make him decide he wants more involvement than we agreed? The law would be on his side.
And I’m unlikely to find another guy I trust as much as I trust the donor we have right now. But I’m going to have to try.
Going to a clinic would be an option, but we really could stand to keep the money that it would cost. IUI — when we priced it years ago — was €1000 a go. Given that it’s not like each try is a sure thing, that gets awfully expensive.
And so I’m sitting at my computer, very tempted to sign up to Twitter and say, “Got sperm?” and see what happens. Of course, that’s insane.
We’ve been a little tight lipped about what we’re trying. Personally, I’m not that bothered, but my partner is more cautious about things and I respect that. But what widening our search might mean is bringing more people into the experience. Putting the word out.
God my life is weird.
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lol@how this is turning...
Hi there,
I’m a first year Journalism student from DIT Aungier Street, and I’m looking to write a feature article regarding gay parents’ views to civil partnerships in Ireland.
I’ve been reading your article’s on Gaelick, and I’m really intrigued by the process you’ve to go through to have a child. As you say, “we are very well programmed as teenagers that pregnancy is the worst thing that can happen to you. Pregnancy will ruin your life. Whatever you do, don’t get pregnant. And it can happen really easily.”
We aren’t taught at school any alternative to this, which is pretty scary. But as everybody keeps telling me, “we’re in Ireland, what do you expect from a Catholic School?”
So, in an effort to highlight ‘the other side’ of things, I’m going to base my university assignment on how the real people on the ground feel about the government’s attempt to provide equality.
As far as time frames go, I’ll be handing in the assignment in for mid-December.
If you’d like to read any samples of my work, I write on Gaelick as ‘Soapie’.
Thanks,
Sophie Cairns
P.S. If you know any other families that’d be interested in lending their opinion, let me know
LOL – I would love to see that posting in Twitter. Straight couples (infertiles) go through the same thing. It boils down to economic sense. I cannot believe the law would be on the Sperm donors side if you shopped ‘local’ here in Ireland? We adopted 2 of our kids by way of ‘local adoption’ (it was the cheapest option) in the USA years ago and had FULL-ON-CONTACT with the bio parents. At first it was terrifying. I kept thinking they would want them back and it scared the bejesus out of me every time the doorbell rang. But once I got settled into Mammy-hood and came to terms with all the crying and nappy changes and puke-all-over-me-and-I-still-love-ya kind of fun, I realised that babies are hard work and the bio-parents were quite happy just seeing them occasionally. Best of luck, I am sure the outcome will be fab. Móna