Last week I read an article that really interested me.  A lesbian couple in the UK have opened up a sperm donor clinic and have taken the decision to make it gay only.  Natalie Drew and Ashling Phillips are parents themselves, having two children by sperm donation.  Feeling that most of the advice out there is geared towards heterosexual couples, the pair have taken it upon themselves to do something about it.  The service has been available on line for a few years now, but they have recently opened up an office.  According to their website

we pride ourselves on offering you the best connections, advice and support from conception through to the complete parenting experience

Sounds like exactly what so many couples out their need.  People who have been there, done that, and know exactly what is needed.  Natalie was kind enough to speak to me and answer a few questions on the new clinic, here’s what she had to say:

You have two beautiful children, what made you want to open up your clinic and how is it different from the one you used?

We used a service that cost us £1700 to match us with a donor that we then met in a hotel and made arrangements for when we would start the process of trying for a baby through AI.  We decided to open the centre so it would be a safe environment for women to meet donors rather then them making arrangements to meet at their homes or pubs/bars.   Our centre is different as I set it up to help same sex couples with every aspect of starting to try for a family, tests that should be carried out, equipment to use, legal questions and paperwork that should be completed prior to conception.  We would then like to keep in contact with the client throughout the pregnancy and after the baby is born they can start to attend our Gay Family Network group which enables same sex parents to meet up once a month with the children and talk on an informal basis and chat about how they are finding being parents and arrange day trips out to different locations.

Why did you make the decision to have your clinic “gay-only”, was that a difficult choice to make?

We decided to help same sex couples as it is the base of our knowledge being gay parents, we believe there is a wealth of information and support for heterosexual couples, whereas the information for same sex couples is limited and lots of companies are unwilling to help without charging fees.

Is there a max no of times you allow your donors to donate, and if so, have you checked that they have no previously donated elsewhere?

We do not keep a database of the donors as we are a contact service so we do not get involved with how many times a donor has donated and who he has donated to.  The men and women register on the site for free and register their profile so that others can search for what they are looking for and make contact with each other about where they go from there.

If a couple has a child using one of your donors, can they come back to you in a few years to have another child with that same donor?

This would be between the man and woman to decide as we do not make any of the arrangements for them.

Do you allow single gay women to use your service or do you cater solely for couples?

The service is available for single women as well and is not exclusive for couples.

Many women worry about the legalities of sperm donation and the rights a donor may have to have a relationship with the child.  What can you say to put their minds at rest on this important issue?

We work very closely with ‘A City Law Firm’ who offer a free consultation via our website so they can talk through the legalities of a sperm donor.

As a couple who have successfully had a family through this method what one piece of advice would you like to pass on to other women?

Make sure that you have your donor tested for STI’s and draw up a contract before conception. I would recommend that they meet the donor in a public place on the first occasions and make sure he is definitely what you are looking for in a donor as this will make up half of your child.

I have to say it really does look like a wonderful service and Natalie and Ashling have thought of anything a couple might need to make the process as safe and comfortable as possible.  To be able to walk into an office that sees you as a loving couple that wants to start a family and talks to you both equally must be a great relief to many lesbian couples who have decided to have children.

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