18 Comments

  1. Bo

    What the everlong fuck?!

    I seriously think the internet is just like a safehaven for compulsive liars.

    Ugh. I feel sorry for you for being strung along. Stuff like this is really sickening. The horrible ripple effect the lies have is astounding and I don’t think either ‘Amina’ or ‘Paula’ feel any real remorse for what they have done or even understand the consequences. They make me sick.

  2. Bo

    PS I am a bisexual man, not a lesbian. Nor would I ever claim to be online for shits n giggles. Fuck sake.

  3. It’s just crazy. Because, as I said, it’s not like I didn’t know something was up. I mean, a lot of what she said seemed so wrong. But I had no way to verify one way or another.

    But I do feel stupid, betrayed, and ridiculously angry. God help him if he decides to make contact again.

  4. Great post!

    These could be the transcripts of my chats with “Paula.” Some of it I knew was a lie. But I didn’t this it was harmful, just like wishful thinking of a woman who wanted to be more important than she was.

    At least you got out of it after a year, I stuck around for two! :-p

  5. Dear GOD ALMIGHTY. The stories keep getting WORSE AND WORSE. My account of Paula, her lies and her cyber bullying can be found here: http://thewishfulwriter.blogspot.com/2011/06/real-paula-brooks.html

    And I’ve also linked to other stories.

    It’s infurating to read he did all this to promote the LGBT cause. Fucking liar. He did it to promote himself and he got a kick out of it. The lies he told were unecessary and clearly the result of a very instable man.

    We’re even questioning if he’s really who he says he is now.

  6. Ok, wow. He was telling you off for not being lesbian enough, or something. I guess this is where we see the real problems with trying adopt a subculture you are not a part of!

    I’m half tempted to start a Facebook group for people who’ve worked with Paula Brooks. lol

  7. Actually a really good idea! This person manipulated folks into hating each other so no one talked. Now that we’re all sharing our stories, it would be a great idea to have one location where people were posting links to their stories. If you do don’t do this, let me know and I’ll do it. If you DO do it, let me know and we’ll spread the word.

  8. Gray

    That guy manipulated and lied to everybody, and aparently he was good at that (not easy remembering all the past lies). Imho it has to be asked: Is Bill Graber a sociopath?

  9. @Belinda I don’t think producers are credited on the MSNBC shows. I could be wrong.

    @Gray I know on another forum people were talking about histrionic personality disorder or something like that. I don’t know enough about either to comment!

  10. [...] with lots of lesbians not actually being lesbians at all. There was the despicable hoax of Amina, the shocking Paula Brooks fiasco, and last but not least people, the AWFUL display by Dianna Agron flaunting a T-shirt that read [...]

  11. Laura

    I am not really surprised at this as in the early days of d’interweb I spent a lot of time on IRC and nearly all of the “women” I communed with online tuned out to be wanking blokes. (Pardon my frankness, but this is basically what it boiled down to). I had heard of the same kind of thing happening on MUD games and I have to admit that eventually I entirely abandoned IRC except for talking to people in Irish groups (generally mixed) as at least they had meetings where people could actually be confirmed to be who they claimed to be.

    Now I think chat forums went out of fashion in the late 90s and were replaced by larger, more gay-focused megasites with multiple services like planetout.com and gay.com. These really changed things because there was a small barrier to entry – as gay sites that chat services and forums were just part of another service to, they kinda dissuaded the male porno fantasist from engaging. MUDs were basically ALL about people creating online personas that could potentially be a wet dream fantasy, and IRC was just too easy and tempting to try out, but bigger sites kind of sidelined the phenomenon of creating fake online profiles since they had to sign up properly to a site that really was geared at gay men. And ultimately, the guy who has been brainwashed over many years to jack off to the idea of 2 girls together, generally isn’t too keen on the notion of signing up for a site mainly geared at guys looking for guys to jack off to.

    So naturally, in these days of cheap personal websites, free blog software and easy to establish online presences, it was only a matter of time before this kind of creepy male found his way back into the limelight. For a straight guy, putting on high heels and lipstick and creating a likelike persona in the form of drag is very radical and socially risky. Sure lots of guys do it but they challenge their audiences, themselves and those around them equally. Most of all they challenge the concept of masculinity as a construct.

    But this isn’t the case when you attempt the same thing online. If you have a credit card, there is nothing to stop you having a secondary card issued in a female name, even if that person doesn’t exist. And from there you can buy websites, web services, etc under the newly adopted female name. If the service is entirely online, there is no reason to challenge you if you never plan to meet up (unlike dating services which quickly force the male into an inevitable corner). The thing is, there is nothing really to stop you from going global. Its like a personal game really. Nothing can stop you.

    Trouble is, I think these guys are so wrapped up in their game they don’t really realise that this is serious for the other “players.” Lots of women are still fairly isolated (or like me, have little spare time) and take online communications fairly seriously for whatever reason. So its inevitable that their identities are quickly challenged.

    Why do these guys appropriate female and lesbian personas anyway? I think the female thing is attention-seeking, as women online often get more notice if they are seen to be posting anything challenging or intellectual. The lesbian persona I think falls into two reasons and I think all guys who use female personas do it for both reasons. The first reason is that men often assume that lesbians think like men. They mistake the distinction between gender and sexuality and assume that they can assimilate this identity without it being noticed. This isn’t something unique to blokes btw the way, the very good “lesbian knows best” series produced by the very likeable Vicky Wagner in LA sells herself on the notion that “I think like a man.” I don’t want to crique Vicky here because I think a lot of the work she’s done is really good, but its simplistic and delusional to think that you can appropriate the identity of a gay woman because she thinks like you.

    The second reason is the good old wank material argument. Men have been conditioned over 3 decades of massive porn to see women together as sexually arousing. Being “part” of this is the big thrill. This isn’t fully fulfilled by such porn and using lesbian identities online completes part of the missing part of that circle. This is kind of where it starts to fall over though. McMasters took it one step further by taking his blog into a war zone: his heroine is not only a woman and lesbian but living in a war torn zone as a threatened individual. Kinky in the extreme!

    One thing I will say to anybody who has experienced the hurt of being manipulated by guys like this is that the ultimate punishment for them is to ignore them. Humiliating them yes, it works a little. Questioning their sexuality and state of mental health, yes. But ultimately, since most are looking for attention, ignoring them is the most powerful response.

  12. Melanie Nathan

    I resigned before I found out paula was bill graber; after I gave 2 years of my life to promo of the site and paid out of my own pocket each month. I had so many red flags. I always thought Paula was an egotistical bragger who was a power hungry narcissist. Of course I never told her that. I too checked up on things she never knew I checked up on. I trapped her on many a lie and never told her. BUT one thing I never knew until recently was that she was a sock puppet – unto her own mindbent psychopathy. I resigned 2 weeks before the truth came out, not knowing Paula was a complete lie. She spun such a huge story; and it was a consistent one. She wished she was who she said she was – therein lies the psychopathy. Now she is still BILL and still running LGR behind the scenes with Bridgette, She preyed on B’s own Psyche and continues to do so. Paual a straight man fell in love with Amina a straight man… and I have the chats…. all of them to prove it. Some sickos eh? And he she – believes he was effective when it was US doing the work and him being just what he is a sick Fuck! He is still threatening me because I am so on his continued lies… did you see …http://oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/scandal-continues-as-shamed-lesbian-blog-continues-the-straight-man-lie/

  13. [...] should really be about whether he’s comfortable). Ana Marie Cox, who has been subjected to false allegations of having had an affair with a woman but didn’t comment as to her own sexuality in denying them, retorted, “I don’t [...]

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