Coming out….again and again
Tags: I’ve got a bit of dilemma. Actually its hardly a dilemma, its more a silly situation I have found myself in where I am surprised by my actions and feelings on it.
Let me start by saying I am out. Very out. Out in work, out in my life, out to the stage where myself and the better half have been in a couple of newspapers and had a random person in work come up and congratulate me. Not on being out, on getting wed 
So why on earth am I having an issue with coming out again?
I train with a kickboxing club, it’s good for fitness and it’s great for stress relief, I cannot recommend it enough. I have seen these people on a fairly regular basis over the last few years and on a Saturday there’s a women’s-only class, which I attend and would do chit chat with them. I let it slip a few weeks ago that I am getting married (on Friday week if you want to know the exact
date Cards can be sent to Gaelick HQ.)
I’m very excited about it, naturally, and so it just bubbled out. A couple of the women have been chatting excitedly back and forth the last couple of weeks about it, basic snippets of conversation but I feel like I am lying to them everytime I play the prounoun game. What is wrong with me? Why on earth should I care at this stage in my life? Why didn’t I just say “her” at the start?
As I was saying to my friend whilst ranting over how silly I am being about it, is there ever going to be a stage where one doesn’t have to come out? When the youngster has moved us into a lovely little ole nursing home and the lady who runs it asks if we are okay with a double room?! Who knows!
Am I afraid they won’t talk to me? They’ll decide to use their martial arts against me? What?! I don’t get it. I was so close last week when one of the girls asked how long I’d been going out with my partner, I have a feeling she knows as she never used husband, boyfriend, or the he word in general. I said 12 years and she replied “Long enough!” That was my opening to say “well its only been legal this year” but I became a nervous fumbling wreck! I was so annoyed with myself. So, I have my last Sat class with them for a few weeks this Saturday and I am going to bite the bullet and just go for it. More than likely the convo won’t come up. If only they had Ninja lesbian t-shirts I’d be sorted
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[...] Coming out….again and again I’ve got a bit of dilemma. Actually its hardly a dilemma, its more a silly situation I have found myself in where I am surprised by my actions and feelings on it. Let me start by saying I am out. Very out. [...]
I totally get where you are coming from, I had a similar situation when I got a new job a few years ago. Suddenly I was back in the closet and not by choice.
If I was you I’d just say it in front of one or two and let it go from there. Is hard though, the longer you leave it…
Yeah, it’s like the closet is the default.
I face this pretty much every day, because I deal with a never-ending crowd of almost-strangers that I have to chat with for up to an hour. And because I’m foreign people ask what’s keeping me here. And they see the wedding ring and they assume “Ah, an Irish man!”. And sometimes, I correct, subtly, but my stock response is “something like that.” And it kills me everytime I dodge it. Because what? I’m not ashamed! I don’t particularly care if they like me.
And still. Waffle, waffle.
I came out to my parents about a year ago, and it was a relief.
But since then I keep facing the same problem, you meet new friends and you have to tell them you’re with another girl.
I don’t mind everybody knowing it, but it stays difficult to tell yourself, even though it’s accepted.
I’d hoped it would get easier to tell, but by reading this blog I realize it will always stay being weird..
I’m still a student, so is my girlfriend, but I’m already scared that in job interviews, they’ll judge me on being gay and not on my qualities. That’s where my girlfriend calls me a pessimist, that’s where I call myself a realist.
I hope that within four years from now, the world can look at us the same way as we look at others, who are which we must be according to society and just be tolerant.