Yes! she! can! (Right?)
From Paula of Random Ramblings and Musings, who took a look at our latest poll and had a thing or two to say about it! Her article, which is reproduced with her kind permission, was originally posted here.
I spotted this poll on gaelick during the week and the question intrigued me so I cast my vote and made a note to check back at the end of the day and see what the results looked liked.
I was surprised to see that 48% (the figure has since changed slightly) of those who responded had gone for the ‘don’t be ridiculous, of course’ option.
I tweeted the link, just to see what others thought of it, and replies ranged from men obviously did the voting to they’re just being greedy and wondering whether a gay man could enjoy sex with a woman.
Here’s the thing though, I was one of those who ticked the ‘don’t be ridiculous, of course’ box and my surprise had been at the fact that I wasn’t the only one.
Controversial I know and I’ll probably get some stick for it especially in light of recent posts that I’ve written. But bear with me on this one because I DO think it’s possible for a woman to enjoy sex with a man and still be a lesbian.
Let’s be clear, I’m not talking about dating men or gentle love making where you whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ears. If that’s the kinda thing you’re into then you are, most definitely, bisexual as far as I’m concerned.
I’m talking, solely, about when the desire is so strong that there’s nothing else to be done but rip each other’s close off and fuck, like there’s no tomorrow, right there on the kitchen table. You had a need, that need was fulfilled it seems pretty clear to me that enjoyment would be had.
You can’t help who you are attracted to and if the feeling is mutual then I say work away, have at it and share your kinky side or whatever it is you’re into. You’re both consenting adults after all!
I am under no circumstances saying that women are wired to automatically enjoy sex with men or that this applies to all lesbians. But depending on the lesbian, the man and the situation I can see how it could happen.
On the flip side I also think it’s possible for a woman to enjoy sex with another woman and still be straight. Actually I know this one is true rather than just thinking it!
I’ve been in that situation and yes a great night was had by us both but the following morning we went our separate ways. It was just sex, the fulfilment of a need, and then we both moved on. And no she hasn’t since come out of the closet (I know some of you are thinking it!).
Sex is sex, if the mood calls for you to be shown a good time, by whoever, and fucked senseless while talking dirty and wearing nothing but a pair of killer heels then who am I to judge.
Where things cross the line, for me at least, is if it goes deeper than purely acting on that physical attraction. If it’s more than just a good seeing to you’re after and particularly if you find yourself becoming attached to the other person in more emotional ways and/or you wish to turn it into something more relationship-like, then I do think you’re bisexual.
Equally I would say the same if you found yourself wanting to jump the bones of more than one man.
In both these circumstances it has become more than just the scratching of an itch, so to speak, and that’s something entirely different as far as I’m concerned.
Sex is sex! Relationships are relationships! Love is love! If you want all three of these with a member of the opposite sex, when you’d previously only wanted them with the same sex, then yes…I would say you are bisexual. If, however, it’s just a once off fuck fest that you’re looking for then I think it’s entirely possible for a lesbian to enjoy sex with man!