Sometimes I wonder about my wife’s sexuality. She says she’s a lesbian and all that but she also gets all hot and bothered about some gorgeous men. Six-pack abs are a joy, apparently. I’m not worried as my ladies are more than a match for any pecks. Boo-ya!
So, when she convinced me to accompany her and her sister to see Magic Mike, I thought “ah sure grand, a night out” as you do, and the two of them got all excirrah and dellirah that we’re going to see this pair on the right.
On the night it turned out that the sister couldn’t go, so it was me and the wife. The incongruity of two married lesbians going to see a film about male strippers was not lost on me. It was a running joke during dinner beforehand; along with our assessment of what the audience would be made up of – groups of women, gay men and their lady pals, bis of all genders, and those poor straight men who promised honest to god I’ll go if you come to see The Dark Knight Rises.
We weren’t far off either. What I was not in any way prepared for was the couple in front of us. A lesbian couple!!!! Another one!!! At one stage before the show, there were ten people in the cinema and 40% of us were lesbians. What the hell? Does this prove the power of Channing Tatum’s abs?
Once it filled up, we weren’t far off in our assessment, but I spent most of the film trying to figure out why the hell our Sapphic sisters were there. Maybe they’re both bi, maybe they’re not out and are hiding in the cinema for a wear. Or maybe, there are other lesbian couples out there where one of us is whipped.
I am not alone.