From another of the Gaelick contributors extraordinaire, here’s Kris!
One of my close gay male friends recently asked me if, in all honesty, lesbian sex is just a form of “heterosexual foreplay”.
Needless to say I was shocked and angered by his irritatingly serene declaration. So much so that I left my Charlie’s 3-in-1 untouched for the remainder of our discussion (an altogether uncharacteristic action.)
During this heated exchange, wherein I defended the honour of Lesbian Sex, I asked him if he also viewed sex between two males as a form of “heterosexual foreplay”. His answer and I quote was:
Well, no. We have a penis… It’s different, isn’t it?
I know, I know. I, too, can feel my blood pressure sky rocketing once again as I recount our conversation.
Now, I should add that the following day he did apologise, claiming that his statement had been made in a half tongue-in-cheek manner. However, unsure as to whether this was merely an effort on his behalf to placate this angry dyke, I decided to conduct some further research into people’s opinions around lesbian sex.
Needless to say, I was shocked to learn that my friend was not in a minority in his “tongue-in-cheek” view when it came to the opinions of other gay and straight guys; while many straight girl friends that I asked indirectly gave off the impression that they too shared the opinion that it’s all a form of “heterosexual foreplay”.
“I mean… What do you do?” One girl asked innocently, clearly struggling to comprehend the absence of a penis, while another responded, “Straddle what?” when the topic of sexual positions came up.
I mean, what do people think that we lesbians get up to? A game of Twister in the nip?
Ride Sally, Ride!
As many of us are well aware, lesbian sex is HAWT, 100% REAL and in no way a lite form of “heterosexual foreplay” (or heterosexual sex for that matter). So why do many people not take lesbian sex seriously?
Is it simply because they have never experienced it and are therefore ignorant as to what it is that we actually do (and how great it can be)? Does the media, and pornography in particular, have a role to play in the creation of this viewpoint, considering that in the main it projects an image of sex in which a male is always present?
Or (and this may be a hard pill for us to err… swallow) could their dismissive attitude towards lesbian sex be fuelled by our own language and actions?
For example, are us lesbians really helping our case in regard to some people wrongly viewing lesbian sex as a form of “heterosexual foreplay”, when we purchase strap-ons that literally resemble male genitalia in all it’s, eh… glory?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for experimenting with the various forms of sex toys that are available on the market and in turn spicing things up in the bedroom. However, when two lesbians order a pretty much prosthetic-penis online, isn’t this not only feeding into people’s notions that lesbian sex on its own (without the introduction of some added paraphernalia) is merely a form of semi-gratifying foreplay? While also indicating that lesbians feel the NEED to visibly have a “penis” present, albeit an artificial one, in order to transition the lesbian sex experience from mere foreplay to full-on sex?
Recently on a night out, I was surprised to hear a friend of mine use the word “head” when talking about the best techniques to use when giving oral sex to another girl (a very informative conversation for a whole other article!).
Is it just me or isn’t this word “head” usually used when talking about oral sex being given on a male? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m far from being a prude but doesn’t this word sound plain rotten (especially when a girl uses it)?
As the night continued, I happened to hear another girl in the beer garden bragging about “riding” a girl the weekend before – another word that I have only ever heard a male utter, while another went as far as to refer to a free Dental Dam that she had picked up in Outhouse as her “Johnny”.
While it should be said that only a minority of lesbians can be overheard speaking in this manner on a Saturday night out, isn’t it fair to say that the use by a small number of lesbians of language that is synonymous with heterosexual acts when referring to lesbian sex, just once again feeding into some peoples notions that lesbian sex is literally just a form of “heterosexual foreplay”?
After all aren’t we subconsciously revealing our insecurity around the absence of a penis by speaking about our sexual acts as if that body part were involved?
Food for thought methinks…