Vajaysus! What do you call yours?
Gird your loins! Another new article from another new Gaelick writer, Grania:
Once upon a time, a friend of Naomi Wolf helped her celebrate a book deal by making pasta shapes, which he dubbed “cuntini”.
Unfortunately, Wolf took offense and decided to reclaim lady bits, leading to her new book: Vagina: A new biography. Naomi’s uses “vagina” to refer to the whole shebang, more correctly called the vulva, but hey, maybe I’m anal about vagina.
This may be the difference between us and our American diaspora, but I was unaware that vagina was linguistically off-limits. Do vaginas really need to be reclaimed? Are they not there for approximately 50% of the population, neatly joining our legs with added functional features? Hasn’t the naming of the vagina been snatched back from the eager beavers? Is Naomi just making a hoo-ha about nothing?
Surely the cuntini, which caused the problem in the first place, should be the word to be reclaimed?
We don’t seem to have the same tortured attitudes to the naming of women’s parts in Ireland (“front bottom” and “down there” have served well). Is it a mixture of a paternalistic constitution and a laid back attitude to labeling?
Maybe it’s because we have a proud tradition of Síle Na Gigs, perched on church walls and predating constitutional attempts to codify a woman’s place in Ireland. They’re there, and they’re bare, if a little weather beaten.
Then there was the infamous case of US Senator Lisa Brown being asked to leave the floor of the Michigan Senate for saying “vagina”. This is truly worrying. Every book on human biology should include (with labels) an image of a vagina. How did it become a taboo to name a vaginal passage? Is it because female genitalia is an innie, rather than the outie of male genitalia, that coyness has crept in?
I don’t want to start talking cock, but something as egalitarian as genitalia is going to be hard to avoid naming, and those names are going to be lewd, rude and hopefully good.
And if I was serving a cuntini, it would definitely be a cocktail. Perhaps baileys and whiskey served with parallel stripes of Chantilly cream and a cherry on top.
So, what do you think? And what do you call yours?
Front page image: “Domestic Goddess Installation” by lightsight via flickr
Category thumbnail image: “Orchid – Storczyk” by Jarosław Pocztarski via flickr