6 Comments

  1. Kris

    Loved this article, made me laugh out loud and I can totally relate. Sex for the sake of it is always just a dissapointment. All good things ehem come to those who wait! :D

  2. Nora

    Christ then I’m in for a great time since I’ve been waiting 39 years… 26 if you start the watch after puberty… Good article… Common sense is unfortunately never popular amongst those who don’t have any….

  3. E

    To be fair it was great reading but I think the problem is the circle of friends are fostering the idea that there is something wrong with a hiatus from sex, in the words of Alanis Morissette “I declare a moratorium of things relationship, I declare a full time out from all things commitment,” I take that to be a wearying of trust, inability to invest in another, which happens when relationships break down and can be awful. I myself went a number of months in self imposed sexile and had the support of my friends who encouraged me to only get back sexual involvement with people when I was ready, then again their level of understanding knew no ends as I had be rather unawarely in a psychologically abusive relationship which left me scarred and terrified of meeting another human being never mind having sex with them. But, subsequently, I have met someone and it took a while and when I did meet them, the cogs of my inner workings became unstuck and started turning again and I’ve been with my partner now for over 6 months and it has been amazing. I do think a break is good from time to time, living your life in distractions means that sometimes you miss out on what’s important, the return to you process, being able and strong being fully you again without the aid of ego boosting distractionary measures which only serve as quick fixes before you need another hit. The real fix, the long term fix is within you and understanding you and being comfortable with yourself.

  4. I found the article fine until it got around to slut-shaming. One “one night stand” is not the same as another. Yes, they can be embarrassing drunken affairs driven by a fear of being alone (or of being seen to be alone), but they can also be magic, exciting, sensual and beautiful things. I wrote about this on my blog many years ago and the one I specifically remember the most was one lovely lady with whom I went on to become good friends with. The input plus the transformation doesn’t always end up with the same output.

    They can be also hurtful and manipulative, or just plain poor. I don’t see all of them the same though, some were very touching experiences where hearts and emotions were opened and things were possibly said that couldn’t be said anywhere else. On the other hand, if its with somebody you know, they can just be plain power games of the worst kind. Also, sometimes, the sex can be really, really mind-blowing, especially when its unexpected and spontaneous.

    That said, I’ve not been with anybody, despite a couple of offers, for the last few years. I’ve just got fussier. I’ve decided that if I like somebody on the like scale but we don’t really have a lot in common there is no point in sharing bodily fluids as she’ll probably get hurt if I don’t want to take things further. And I’m not really that impressed when somebody who practically ignored me earlier on the night when sober practically pounces on me later once they’ve beer goggles on.

    Its a good debate though. I just felt we should not judge ourselves for enjoying the intimacy of being human, even if it doesn’t go beyond a one-off thing, and even less should we judge others.

  5. sharkie

    Hi There, I would like to react to this article… what to say> I was not LMFAO but Its made me finaly happy that even we gay people can say that we have sex and we miss it and its not bad and shame that we want one night stands. I was doing one night stands back in my country but I stopped, yes I felt in love, she broke up with me I met a guy and I married him, well, I am gay, he is just good friend with who I am sharing house, bills and he knows it about me. Sometimes I am telling him how I would be happy to be divorced, he says back that its not problem but just if i will divorce just because of someone. Well, I dnt know what to think maybe he is worry about me, not to stay alone or more racional thought that he knows that lesbian here in Ireland in small villages are not OUT and I will not have possibility to meet someone. So guys pls where in Ireland Girl who is not party type, Don`t smoke and wanna have a kid can find girl who just wants to live happy and belong to someone finally? Well back to the article. I like it a lot and I am not saying it often ….

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