I’m really enjoying the new sitcom by Glee’s Ryan Murphy and Ali Adler.
It’s just – it’s hard to watch. And maybe it should be offensive that a show about having a baby all but completely ignores the experience of the surrogate. “Pretend I’m not here,” she says in one scene, and it suddenly made it clear how the whole show was pretending she wasn’t really there.
But mostly, I find it hard to watch because, damn, it’s gotta be sweet when your biggest worry is keeping your boyfriend from buying baby clothes too early.
How about finding out that the thing you’d thought would run you €1500 is going to cost closer to €3000, and that’s just for one attempt. When you’re making €10k a year less than you used to? And you’re already living without paid TV, a landline or reliable broadband, and little luxuries like making sure your car has a current NCT are already gone? You no longer travel or go out at all. And suddenly, you need all this extra money.
And that’s on top of the other crazy involved in making a baby in a family headed by a same-sex couple.
I remember watching Darren Kennedy’s Gay Daddy and thinking that hey, I guess we have it lucky, lesbians. It’s cheaper for us to have kids than it is for men. On the other hand, everyone he interviewed was very well off. They were at least well-off enough to allow one partner to be at home. And well, for surrogacy at €100k a pop? Yikes.
Becoming gay parents isn’t easy or cheap. And it’s sad that it’s such a financial struggle to just get to the point of having a child, when so many couples out there are so willing to do so if only they could afford it.
I’m delighted the rich gays are having babies. It’d be nice if the rest of us could manage it too, somehow.