• Gaelick’s stalwart, tabula rasa, and newbie, Sinéad, put their heads together to ponder the language we use to self-describe. Here are the results!

“Queer” means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

To people like my grandmother, it means odd or strange, and she’ll often tell me that there’s a “Quare change in the weather”. To others it’s just seen as a pejorative term, which has been used to abuse them. To an ever-growing number of people, however, it’s the way they express their identity, and is the umbrella term which can be used to cover a whole host of different sexualities and gender expressions.

The best definition for “queer” as we will use it here actually comes from Wikipedia, which is:

Queer is an umbrella term for sexual minorities that are not heterosexual, heteronormative, or gender-binary. In the context of Western identity politics the term also acts as a label setting queer-identifying people apart from discourse, ideologies, and lifestyles that typify mainstream LGBT communities as being oppressive or assimilationist.

I’ll be the first to admit that up until very recently, I shied away from using the word “queer”. To me, it was what was shouted across the street while people were hurling abuse at me, it was what LGBT people were called when they were being beaten up. In short, it was always negative.

But the more I thought about it, the more important the term became. As we all know, gender isn’t a binary. There isn’t just male and female, there is both and everything in between (and outside of) these binaries. People who represent the larger spectrum of human sexuality and gender expression may not fit into the sometimes “rigidly” defined terms of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. And there needs to be a term for people to use, to identify with, and to unite under.

Sinéad had a different experience from me regarding the Q:

For me, being queer is pretty much the most defining characteristic I have, but because of that, it is also the least noticeable. I pretty much live my life as a political statement, and that kind of behaviour is normalised very quickly.

I never associated the word with anything negative as a child, but I think that has less to do with society and more to do with how many Enid Blyton books I used to read. When I grew up and exploded out of the closet, I did so as a lesbian, but it was apparent that that was not strictly true from day one. It took me until very recently to identify as the Q that I clearly am, but that I didn’t have the vocabulary to express previously.

Saying that, I also think that identifying as Q is something we grow into. I don’t mean that identifying as LGBT is a transitory stage; I mean that, for me at least, it was an identity I could latch on to.

“LGBT” was a thing I could relate to; that accepted me; that I fit into. It provided for me the space to grow into who I am, who I always was but didn’t know it. That space is essential. Adding Q to the acronym is also essential. The idea of identifying as “other”- what an idea that would have been to a teenaged me!

And I don’t think I’m the only one. Sexuality and gender are things that develop as we grow, one way or the other or both, I think, just like everything else about us, they change as we age. Nobody dies the same person they were when they were born. And Q is a nice, simple way of expressing that idea.

For me, queer means, “Let’s just go with this, see what happens. It’s OK.” It gives me the freedom to experiment with who I am, and I love that freedom. I love being Q.

We asked our friends on Facebook yesterday to message us if they felt more comfortable self-identifying under the Q as opposed to other letters of the LGBT acronym. The response was huge. And I have to say, I learned a lot.

Many people have their own definitions for their sexuality, which ranged from pansexual to “Futagirl” (which they went on to explain as a “Feminine external expression of an internally andogenous nature”) and everything in between.

I asked a couple of people to to expand on what they meant when they said “pansexual” and both answers were pretty much identical:

Well pan is when there’s no gender consideration. Unlike bi, which is both male and female, being pansexual means that a person doesn’t have to have a definite gender to be attractive because it’s not part of the thinking process.

I then asked one of these pansexual identified people why they felt that the Q best applied to them rather than anything else, and was told:

I think it’s because “bi” feels a bit limiting […] I mean, I fall for people and although in practice I do tend towards women, in reality their gender isn’t really an issue for me. So male/female/neither/both/whatever, as long as they’re comfortable with their identity, it’s not an issue for me, so queer feels a bit more accurate.

People have many different reasons for using Q to identify themselves. For some people, it is political:

Queer for me is a political label. It tells people that I am interested in the issues of our whole community and not just (for example) in trans issues. Also, as somebody who lived as a lesbian for 10 years, is very camp, and have also been living as transgender and then transexual for the last 5 years, I don’t feel as though one label accurately reflects the total of my experience withint he community.

I also feel that if you say “queer” it tends to invite more questions about your personal journey and experience than a label like trans or lesbian as people hear that and make their own narratives and assumptions.”

For others, the Q is about not having to fit into any defined ‘boxes’:

I identify as queer because it feels very free to me. “Lesbian” always seemed not quite right as a label for me, I never felt like I fit in that mold. I like the radical nature of “queer”, and the almost aggressive nature of it. For me identifying as Q means I don’t have to fit any stereotype or gender role, which is awesome!”

Indeed, not having to fit into any particular mould is the reason most people I spoke to prefer to use the Q. Ariel Silvera told me that:

When I first came out, I used the word “queer” more often to refer to myself. I was basing that usage on understandings I gained from a lot of reading on trans and queer issues and experiences, as well as from my experiences travelling to queer communities in the UK and Germany.

She went on to say:

I did then, and still do now, see “queer” as a place of possibility and a place of flexibility. A place where my sexuality and my gender can be articulated in myriad ways, without being limited to a particular identity.

In other words, it feels like it is something which, growing from LGBT, has the potential of limitless genders and sexualities.

Others all responded in a similar vein:

In some situations it’s better than “gay” or “lesbian”, in other situations it’s easier just to say “I’m gay” and no one looks at you funny. I like queer for it’s lack of specificity: It tells you I fall outside the hetronormative without giving very personal details. (If you say “lesbian” sooo many guys in my age group instantly think “porn”.)

I like that “queer” says I have something in common with people who are trans, poly, gay, bi, anything-a-bit-less-usual because I think it’s important that there is an element of togetherness in LGBTQ, and the Q gives an umbrella we can all stand under even if we don’t have lots of the specifics in common we can still stick up for one another.

I find myself attracted to people’s personalities, who they are, rather than their gender.

I find women, men, trans men, trans women, drag queens, drag kings and all kinds of genders attractive. If I describe myself as “bi”, people - straight and gay – seem to be really keen to push me one way or another. If I had a euro for every time I’m asked, “Which do you prefer, men or women?” I’d be rich.

Being queer for me is about being attracted to anyone of any gender if I feel a chemistry with them. I’m really happy to be queer. I’d  be sad to not be able to feel attraction for someone because of their gender. Not being attracted to someone because they were perceived as female would for me be as arbitrary as not being attracted to someone because their name started with a vowel.

The appeal of the term queer is it’s versatility. It can be molded to suit the sexuality of the individual, and as a result has none of the difficult connotations of other sexuality discourse.

I call myself queer because I identify most closely with the term “lesbian” both politically and sexually, but find myself in a very happy relationship with a cis male. […] Using the term “queer” means taking back my sexuality and defining it for myself without the pressure of trying to slot into a sexuality that I didn’t actually feel.

Queer fits more of my identity than LGB or T.  For me it is considerably wider than the others, which only cover sexual orientation and gender identity.  For me Queer represents a wider rejection of heteronormativity.  It is about deciding for myself when I want to be poly or mono (or indeed whether one of those is an identity for me), what my kink orientation is, what my relationship with my gender is, who I fancy, who I fuck, how I fuck.  It gives me more space to move along continuum of sexuality and gender without being fixed within the confines of boxes that don’t entirely describe me.  It’s also political.  For me queer is politically lefty, and that fits too!

I like to use queer rather than gay because people throw the word gay around so much in a negative sense…by saying things like “OMG my leggings are so gay.” I also like it because it can be used by everyone who feels they fit into the LGBT- it’s less limiting and I think it helps people stop constantly labelling themselves.

I liked that idea – whether I am with a woman or a man I am queer – their gender identity doesn’t change who I am. Queer feels like an identity I can have forever, it’s mine and not contingent on someone else’s genitals.

For others, they use the term queer as they subvert gender norms. One person explained that for them:

“[...] Q suits me best due to my own personal identity. Some days I feel I identify more as male and bind my breasts and dress more masculine. I’m not trans, and don’t suffer any body dysphoria so I feel “queer” best describes me.

Maybe in a world where dressing masculine wasnt such an oddity I wouldn’t need the queer label but.. it is.

CanuckJacq further expanded along this line with:

“Lesbian” seems so specific. It’s just never felt right. And “gay”, that’s not quite right either. My answer to gender is usually “no”, that means I’m not trans or cis, just somewhere in-between. I don’t like the label “bi” because I believe there are more than two genders, and I’m picky like that.

But “queer” is comfortable for me. Like, I belong in the LGBT community, somewhere in between the Ls the Gs the Bs and the Ts; but where might depend on the day. And it’s nice to not feel restricted.

A recurring theme in many of the answers centred upon the area of bisexuality and how at times that term was too limiting for people due to the implied binary, as well as the problem of other LGT or heterosexual people disenfranchising those who labelled themselves as “bi”, by insisting on imposing a sexuality on them based on the gender of their partner.

Lou told me:

“Bisexuality” implies an equal interest in both sexes, which I simply don’t have. I struggled hugely with my sexuality, and found it extremely difficult to find anyone whose sexual experience was similar to mine. It was quite an isolating experience and created a situation where I lacked agency within both the straight and gay communities.

Amiee expanded on this point, except in her case people were disputing her right to identify as queer:

There are those within the community who feel Bs, Qs and quite often Ts as well, don’t belong in “their” spaces. Like any community the whole idea of “inclusiveness” doesn’t always work out so well in practice – we have to work on that.

I was recently told, by a gay man, at my own Thanksgiving party, that if I was seeing a man I couldn’t claim to be queer. I have also been asked by a straight friend why, if I am not in a lesbian relationship, I don’t drop the whole queer thing because it might make people uncomfortable.

It seems a lot of people shared my initial misgivings about the word, due to the implied negativity, and the feeling that we haven’t yet achieved full reclamation of the term. Others weren’t sure about giving up the identity they had originally used for themselves:

I had REAL issues with the use of the word queer when I first arrived at Uni as, like you say, I had only heard it in a pejorative way before then and didn’t feel ready to reclaim the word.

I felt that I was being told to by predominantly white middle-class individuals who had recently come out and, as somebody who had been out since the age of 12 and relatively isolated, I had a real history with the word being used as an abusive insult. Also, I thought to myself, “I like my label and the security of knowing where I fit in the world. ‘Lesbian’ seems to describe me and so why should I give up that hard won label in order to sit under an umbrella term?”

Initially, I didn’t want to use Q. I wanted to be able to function within a sexual sphere in which my sexuality could be considered “normal”. I wanted to be able to be part of a community and not struggle with complex sexual feelings alone. Most importantly I wanted to be able to discuss my experiences and not worry that peoples eyes would glaze over at the mention of “queer”.

I think for political purposes Lesbian is a stronger identity and would use it more.

Throughout the responses, it became to clear to me that in the Irish context, queer is definitely still a term that people are struggling with. Ariel Silvera summed this up nicely:

In the Irish context, there’s the issue that “queer” has not been reappropriated here to the same extent. It is not the same for a German person to use “queer”, a word which is used routinely in Ireland as a beat to stick LGBTQ people with. I have heard from many of my Irish friends that due to the trauma associated with people using the word queer to bully, harass, threaten and enact physical violence on them, it is impossible for them to ever reclaim it.

Others share this experience, and responded with:

I think a lot of the community find it too confrontational or too political. I remember when Queer Spraoi events were on, people saying they didn’t want to go because the name wasn’t nice.

I have encountered many LGBT people who view “queer” as a very negative word, and I can see why they would feel that way. It was used against us for a very long time. But for me I feel like we have re-appropriated it for ourselves. I guess that is a personal thing. I know I have huge problems with the word Faggot, whereas a lot of LGBTQ people I know use it all the time.

I have frequently come across instances where people feel the word isn’t appropriate to describe them and are quite hostile to its appropriation either as an individual or within the wider framework of the LGBT community.

Since Dublin LGBTQ Pride became a Ltd. non-profit company in 2006, the Q has been there. (I couldn’t find more info on whether it had the Q prior to then, so if anyone reading knows, let me know!) This is hugely positive, as for many members of our community, including the Q gives visibility.

For me, it’s a bit like saying please at the end of a request. I know that ‘LGBT’ is intended to include everyone but it does so rather specifically. Adding the Q, to me, is a bit like saying ‘and everyone else no matter how you identify, come join the party’. It’s polite but I don’t feel excluded if it’s not there.

I know several lesbians and bisexuals who feel that the male influence that is associated with the word gay takes from what they identify with. By adding the letter Q, some of the people who are under the LGBT umberella an optional identity that will allow them to just live their lives in alternative setting that is not solely concerned with the gender that they choose to have sex with.

For something such as pride where we are extending acceptance to all of the community i think the Q is very important because as with everything some people just slip through the cracks and its good to have a safety net so no one is left out.

I think having the Q sends a message that you don’t have to declare, you don’t have to be sure, you don’t have to be definitely/just/only LGBT. Q gives breathing space to people.

It is extremely important to me. Extremely important. Queers are invisible, we have no agency whatsoever and we need to be acknowledged and accepted. I’m tired of having to constantly explain myself and “queer” has excused me from that. For me, it is vital.

Writing this piece, we spoke to a lot of people. Like, a lot. So many more than we thought we would be speaking to.

Not only were there more technicoloursuperqueers than we thought, but every one of them was so open about it, so proud of the Q. And yet, quite a lot of them reported originally feeling negative about the word. In fact, quite a lot of LGBT people seem to associate Queer with being insulted.

Why is that? Why are these fantastic, special, totally unique and proud of it people not all over the place? Well, what I discovered is that they are. Out there, Queering up the mainstream, and the gaystream, and they are doing it without causing much of a fuss at all.

The word Queer has been reclaimed by individuals, what needs to happen now is for it to be reclaimed by the community. You may even identify as Q yourself, but you aren’t sure about it. Maybe you are positive in your identity, who knows? The biggest lesson writing this gave us is that you know what, it doesn’t really matter. We are here, we are Queer, and people are getting used to it.

Related posts:

1. “Work It” and the need for LGB activism on T issues
2. Let’s make trans people heard!
3. Born This Way?

The basic premise of the series is that, due to the recession, two men have to present and pass as women in order to gain employment because ZOMG IT’S A “MANCESSION” LOOK WE’RE SO HILARIOUS. They actually use the term “mancession” and blame the fact that they don’t have jobs on women… In the show, they are told that the pharmaceutical company will only hire women, as the doctors want to “nail” them more. (I really wish I was making this up, believe me.)

On account of how offensive and damaging the show could be to the general public’s perception of trans* people, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) urged a boycott and took out a full page ad in Daily Variety condemning the show. In a statement, the Acting President of GLAAD Mike Thompson said:

This show could contribute to the high levels of job discrimination that transgender Americans face and will give license for people to mock and ridicule those whose gender expression might not fit with what society considers the norm

and that

The media should use this as an opportunity to address the huge number of inaccurate or offensive images of transgender people in news and entertainment today. [http://www.glaad.org/workit]

This is all the more poignant when you go on to read in the same statement that currently in the US, members of the trans* community can be legally fired in 34 states, that 97% of self-identified transgender people reported being harassed or abused at work and 26% reported losing their jobs simply because they are transgender. In Ireland, things aren’t much better. Research from Mayock et al (2009) found that out of 46 trans* identified respondents, over 80% had been verbally insulted, and over 39% had someone threaten to ‘out’ them. The 2009 NLGF Burning Issues Survey found trans* identified respondents stated ‘Equal rights at work’ as their top issue of concern. Harassment and discrimination both in and outside of the workplace is the simple every-day reality faced by trans* people the world over; yet ABC has chosen to make a complete mockery out of this oppression.

The debate began when someone posted a link to an article condemning Work It, adding a comment saying how offensive the show was. On a page that is full of self-identified LGBT Activists, you would naturally assume that most members of the group would be outraged by the mere existence of such a show. Disappointingly, this was far from the case. The first few comments were people basically saying “Ah sure, stereotypes are hilarious, it’s only a bit of fun, people shouldn’t be so sensitive”. I bit my tongue and waited, as I was curious to see where the conversation would go.

I looked at the thread in disbelief for a couple of hours, as comment after comment defended the show and thought Work It was not offensive to trans* people, because it’s only “two guys pretending to be women”. Some group members trudged up comparisons with films and programmes of eras past, justifying that if something like this was funny before than it is harmless now. Others even implied that Work It might even be a platform from which to inform the public about trans* issues sensitively. I found it interesting that the conversation on this activists’ forum page focused more on a debate over if Work It was indeed offensive, rather than a discussion of how it offends, or the best way for us, as LGBT Activists, to take action.

This image sums up perfectly why we shouldn’t need a group to prove to us why something is offensive or oppresive:

Thankfully, the voice of reason soon appeared in the form of Sinead Dolan (author of this post ). After trying and failing to get the others to understand why this show was dangerous to the trans* cause through a serious of well reasoned posts, she came out with this statement, which I think summed up this issue in a brilliant and succinct manner:

This show is about men actually living their lives as women, which is a totally different thing. They are going to be using the same techniques that trans people spend literally their whole lives trying to perfect, and make them into The Biggest Joke. Imagine if you were trans, and had spent years working on the makeup, and the walk, and the voice, and the way you move, literally every tiny thing your body does is a learned skill, a way to make the world see you as you see yourself. Now imagine that ABC has taken all those tiny things that are so, so important to you, to your actual survival, and is using them as the butt of every joke in one of it’s sitcoms. That’s not only offensive, it’s wildly irresponsible.

And that right there is really the crux of the issue in my opinion. Whether intentionally or not (and that’s really not the point here) ABC has created and written a show that is essentially taking the piss out of some people’s actual lives.

To the people who watch the show who are thinking “ah sure it’s grand, it’s only a bit of fun cos stereotypes are hilarious” – well, they’re not. Being the butt of someone’s jokes is never funny, particularly when it is compounded by oppression and discrimination in a similar vein in
your daily life. And the people who think that it’s all ok because the show is “only” making a mockery of drag queens/cross-dressers, well guess what? IT’S STILL NOT OK! Drag kings and queens, cross-dressers and transvestites, as well as people who identify as transsexual, transgender, genderqueer or any other variety of gender identity or expression, are all part of the trans* umbrella and the wider LGBT rainbow. We are all part of the same community, and no one individual’s reality is less than another.

Last night, I forced myself to watch Work It. Sitting through an episode was like an endurance sport, and I honestly wanted to weep by the end of it. I quickly realised how this programme relies on sexism, racism and homophobia alongside its transphobia in order to get cheap laughs at the expense of those of us with marginalised identities. Less than one minute into it, there was a rape joke. The protagonist of the piece apparently regularly compares a prostate exam to the pinball scene in ‘The Accused’ (which if you haven’t seen it, is one of the most horrific rape scenes I have ever seen in a film) in conversation with his wife regarding medical checks. Stay classy, Work It. After hearing that “joke”, I knew it could only get worse. And it really did. Next we had the friend who was bitter towards women for causing the “mancession”, and later a lovely racist joke with “I’m Puerto Rican, I’d be great at selling drugs”. All the women that work in the office are portrayed as total airheads (obviously, because women working in an office isn’t real work). They also make jokes about everything from sexual harassment to someone being a lesbian…because clearly, as she is a lesbian, one of the protagonists can now feel free to hit on her. UGH. Fucking hell, HOW DID THIS SHOW GET GREENLIT?! It is honestly the most offensive show I have ever seen. And I used to watch Family Guy!! Emphasis on the used to part of that…

I’d love to get a good discussion of this issue going here. It’s a sad fact of the LGBT movement in Ireland that so often we ignore the inequalities faced by T identified people of the acronym. And that’s to say nothing of the invisibility of bisexual people, but that’s a whole other discussion we need to have.

The LGBT movement is never going to progress if we don’t fight for the rights of the entire community. We’re either a community or we’re not, we’re either activists or we’re not. We need to wake up and realise that we can’t *just* fight for the rights of lesbian and gay people, we have to fight for equal rights for all. The roots of homophobia and transphobia are the same, in the end we have a shared experience in the LGBT community of breaking gender role stereotypes. Whether we do this through our gender identity or expression, or through our romantic and sexual relationships, we are all punished by wider society for breaking these norms. We will never eradicate homophobia as long as there is transphobia. After all, it was the trans* members of the LGBT community that kicked off the entire global LGBT rights movement in Stonewall over 40 years ago. Without them, where would we be today?

The last couple of years have seen some great leaps forward for the Irish trans* rights movement, when LGBT NOISE started campaigning on trans* issues. A trans* activist spoke at the March for Marriage, raising awareness about the Gender Recognition legislation, and how trans* people are being excluded from Civil Partnership legislation. It seemed that people were finally recognising that the trans* community has stood in solidarity with LGB efforts in Ireland for ages, and realising that we all need to work together to combat transphobia and homophobia. I was hopeful that the situation was improving, that people were coming on board, educating themselves and properly putting the T in LGBT – but then this discussion happened.

I need your help, and your suggestions. What can we do, as an LGBT community, to address this problem? How can we counter the apparent apathy among so many LGB people towards trans* issues? And, most importantly of all, what can we do to educate people on trans* issues?
For information on being a good trans* ally, please see:
http://web.mit.edu/trans/allies.html
For more information on trans* issues in Ireland, visit:
www.teni.ie
To begin exploring the concept of cisgender privilege and how it operates, check out:
http://takesupspace.wordpress.com/cis-privilege-checklist/

Related posts:

1. Missing Pieces: Parent & child, other issues
2. There’s something Queer around here
3. Let’s make trans people heard!

• Here’s another article from one of our new writers, Tole. Enjoy!

As a young gay (and by young, I mean, fresh off the train, wearing short pants, clutching my suitcase with a wide eyed stare as I entered an unknown village), I had great expectations that I would soon be charming women every night of the week and giving off the impression that I was some type of modern day Casanova.

So when this did not come to fruition, I was greatly surprised. It took me a while to figure out the root of my failings, but when I did, it came down to a number of crucial things:
 

• It appeared I had an inability to converse with people, something I had hitherto excelled at.
• When I did speak, it was often nonsensical and delivered at a very high pitch so that it seemed I was interested only in communicating with seagulls.
• Anybody I did manage to talk to with any motive of intent, was already coupled up or proved stranger and more high pitched than I was. And I couldn’t be dealing with that sort of competition.

So a chance purchase of an L Word box set (which I figured would surely teach me everything I needed to know) also happened to contain three months free membership for an online dating site. This little card gave me some hope that I could navigate the world a bit better from the comfort of my home, where I had control over my actions, free of occasional squawking noises and the like.

So, I now had the opportunity to be an ever dashing charmer with an unlimited amount of messages to woo these potential suitors with. No “soz babes I’m outta messages, if you fancy a chat add me on msn-smiley face, lol” woes for me.

However, the stress of it all proved too much after a while. The excellent banter back and forth only for it stop abruptly, the occasional drink with somebody who turned out to be incredibly boring, or bumping into that hot girl you took seven hours composing a two line message to, only to never hear anything back. My nerves quite simply weren’t able for it. And so I hung up my online lady killer boots which to my shame, never managed to get all that dirty for a finish.

Having upped my social skills a tad since then (I don’t come off as wanting to live my life on a beach anymore), I recently found myself back online. It may have been exam time. It may also have been the month I discovered a love for the unnecessary filing of all my photos in order of the number of people present in them. But if I was to be at my computer ‘revising’, I thought somebody should at least be entertaining me while I did so.

And it certainly was entertaining for a while, as I discovered that many of the same lovely faces were still online. Yet like a solid old man’s pub, they had refused to move with the times. Many of them were still “just out of a relationship, only looking for fun” (which to be fair, is always a bit of a winning statement), “still really new to this, not sure what to say” (really? But it’s three years later), while the amount of people (“new age kids” I like to call them) who spell their names with both letters and numbers was astonishing.

Of course, there were also a few gems of people in there, fun and witty. However, for the most part, it would seem that we all sat around logged in, yet not saying much. I mean, I can’t prove this for definite, just that the masses didn’t seem to be messaging me, which I found strange, given that I had personally awarded myself 4/5 stars for my new profile.

Whatever about communicating with people in real life, I’ve always found that online, you have time to think, to open and reply to a message with a great answer, and if not great, at the least, relatively engaging.

Some of the profiles provide great material to start a conversation, plenty of interests and quirks that can arm you with something slightly original to say. But yet, a lot of people continue to open with ‘Hi, how are you?’. Given that we live in Ireland, surely it’s only natural that a response to this would also include a comment on the weather, followed by an inquiry into the health of the person’s ailing grandmother and before you know it, everybody has lost interest.

I gradually became more annoyed by these messages. I just couldn’t bring myself to reply to them. And so, I asked that, if people were feeling charitable enough to message me, then dear Jesus, make it worthwhile and something that I might actually respond to.

It has kind of worked, I think. Or else I just come across as so demanding that the ‘hi how are you lol’ people, a wily bunch, know I’m probably not worth the effort. But I’ve had some good banter with a few people and have progressed towards ‘friendly acquaintance’ stage.

And just so you know, things online move like this these days:
 

• As usual you chat, and this can range from a few hours, days or weeks.
• You then become friends on Facebook to prove that neither of you is insane/a murdering kidnapper.
• You may find out that you have a few friends in common, but that you are not in fact related. Good to go.
• You maybe meet for a drink and get on well. Excellent.

This is surely the holy grail of online dating. You arrange to actually meet the person. Anything that happens after that is either terrifying or pleasant (it can always go either way to be honest).

The important thing is, that if you plan to while away a number of hours online, then make yourself interesting (although don’t lie about it. If you’re boring, then that’s just how it is), be engaging and if you are really so concerned about the person’s health, or how their weekend went, think how overly concerned you’ll be about them if you actually end up meeting and liking them. Better to open about their penchant for Anne Doyle and the vigil they now they keep for her by their bedside.

Sounds like a winner to me.

Related posts:

1. Survey: Trans* people and online support
2. A new way to flirt with April Mail
3. Survey from UCC: Gay people and online communication

Let’s start with sport cause our ladies seem to be doing alright in the Solheim Cup. The Irish Times reports Europe quietly gain upper hand

GOLF: SERENADED OFF the first tee with lyrics adapted to the rugby anthem, Ireland’s Call, and also a peculiar version of Danny Boy with a golfing twist by a supporting choir donned in curly blue wigs, Europe’s golfers for much of a long day let their clubs make their own sweet music in this 12th edition of the Solheim Cup.

Staying with sport, I know I know, but its all go this weekend, Irish Central reports New York Ladies GAA team aim for history at All-Ireland level

The New York Ladies football side head to Ireland on Wednesday, September 21 with the junior All-Ireland title in their sight. They play Wicklow on Sunday as the curtain raiser at Croke Park. The ladies intermediate and senior finals will follow.

and finally I can actually mention Westmeath and Gaa in the same sentence without being embarrassed, it seems our intermediate ladies are doing better then our senior boys

Westmeath to prevail

Of course the big one is the Women’s Senior Football final with the nearly always present Cork playing Monaghan. You can catch all 3 games tomorrow on TG4 from 12.

In Britain, Lesbians Separate at Half the Rate Heteros Do

Bad news for those looking for unequivocal proof that gays just simply aren’t cut out for this whole marriage thing: According to a U.K. government analysis, lesbians couples in civil partnerships (the training wheels for real marriage) separate at a shockingly high rate of … 2.5 percent, according to The Telegraph.

Girl with Dragon Tattoo offers deja vu [Trailer]

Intense and familiar are two words that come to mind upon viewing the extended trailer for David Fincher’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” which of course tells of magazine-man Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) and hacker Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) teaming up to solve a decades-old murder on a remote Swedish island.

Didn’t see the first one so I suppose I should start there.

‘Entourage’ star says Lynch’s lesbian joke wasn’t fair

“A lot people are very curious as to why I’m a lesbian — ladies and gentleman, the cast of Entourage,” she cracked.
But was the “Glee” star off the mark about the testosterone-fueled series? Kevin Dillon, aka Johnny Drama, thinks so…

“It was funny, but I think it’s not fair at the same time,” Dillon told me at the HBO party at the Pacific Design Center. “We all have good senses of humor but I think the men of ‘Entourage’ treat women well for the most part.

Again I’ve never seen an episode of Entourage so I can’t comment. I’ve got Rizzoli and Isles, Glee and The Good Wife to keep me amused, there’s not enough hours in the day sometimes

And in junk science of the bleeding obvious this week NU study finds bisexual men attracted to both genders

A new study conducted by Northwestern researchers found bisexual men are sexually stimulated by images of both genders. For Medill senior Chris Garcia, the results confirm what he’s known for years: he’s attracted to men and women.

I kid you not. I wonder when they do the same study on women will they get the same results? I’ll be here. On the edge of my seat.

Lawmakers Push Sex-Change Bill in Argentina

BUENOS AIRES – Legislators from Argentina’s ruling party are pushing debate on a bill to allow sex-change operations without previous judicial authorization, the press reported Sunday.

and with him yet to secure a nomination, David Norris heads the pack in the race for the Áras, according to the latest opinion poll.

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Spoiler warning for Episodes 1 and 2 of Season 4 which have not aired yet in Ireland.

Now that Glee is over for the summer, I have had to turn my television attention to my other TV love, True Blood. And oh, even after such a long absence, it does not disappoint.

We were teased a week or so ago that one True Blood character that had so far been heterosexual would be involved in a very gay romance. They said it would be a character we wouldn’t expect.

And that may or may not be true, because this particular character tripped my gaydar from the very first episode of Season 1.

But in the first episode of Season 4, we got a glimpse of Tara’s new life and new love (Naomi, played by Vedette Lim), even if Tara is now living under a pseudonym.

So, the show that could happily cage-fight Glee for the gayest show on television has introduced another queer character. Happy? You betcha. I’d be happier if the girlfriend had turned out to be petite and blonde and a not-very-good Sookie replacement, but that’s the not-so-secret Tara and Sookie shipper that I am speaking.

And it appears, although Tara’s using a different name while she’s all loved-up in New Orleans, she has kept in touch with her cousin Lafayette and he knows all about her relationship.

So is Tara a lesbian? Is she bisexual? Is she just giving up on men after the supernatural-scale disasters that were her last two relationships?

Rutina Wesley, who plays Tara, says she was surprised at first, but thinks it all makes sense.

After I thought about it, I was like I can see that. She’s got some new skin so to speak and she’s living life to its fullest and I think that’s a beautiful thing honestly to see a person go through that sort of change. Without putting any labels to it, she sort of fallen in love and that’s OK, you know. I just think that’s amazing.
Autostraddle

So, who watches True Blood? What do you think? Has Tara always been bi-tastic, or is she under someone’s spell?

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Mischief  is a new night which started in The George bar a few weeks ago. Taking place every Friday, the idea behind the night is that each week has a different theme, and so far the organisers have gone all out to give the clubbers in attendance the best experience possible.

The theme of the initial Mischief was a Thai Full Moon Party, which was basically a UV paint party, and was an excellent night. There were literal buckets of alcohol!  The following week featured a Jagerbomb Party, last week was a Eurovision Party and this week showcases the first Beach Party ever held in the George.

The Beach Party@The George looks set to be the most elaborate theme yet, with the club promising:

Massage Huts!
Tanning Booths
Free lays on arrival
Drinks served in neon buckets
Beach Balls!
21 Degrees inside the club!
Paparazzi
Very best beach party tunes!
Fire Dancers
Fire performers

It looks like Mischief will continue to bring a diverse range nights and themes to the scene, so I would recommend people go along and check it out.

For a chance of getting on the cheap list/VIP guest list, comment on the Facebook event wall here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=131317056943585

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2. From NYC straight to The George
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You may think the best part of Evan Rachel coming out is having another out and proud LGBT on our screens in a genuine hit TV show, however, the best part really is that I got to say “lesbian queen” in one of my articles, that’s one off my bucket list!

So who is this gorgeous lady?  Well Evan Rachel is a 23 year old actress from North Carolina who used to date none other than Marilyn Manson.  In an interview with Esquire the actress recently said

I was always into very androgynous things. Guys, girls … I’m into androgyny in general

She has good taste too, saying she would love to marry,  Mildred Pierce costar Kate Winslet.  She went on to say

I’m opening the doors, I’m buying dinner. Yeah, I’m romantic.

I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all.

You can see season 4 of True Blood back on HBO from June 25th.

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Lets start with some good celeb news, spoilers ahead folks if you’re a fan of the two lovely ladies on Grey’s Anatomy, consider yourself forewarned!

Staying with another fav lesbian couple here at Gaelick HQ, the news is not so good with another person entering the mix. The couple are featured in the latest issue of Diva, they are featured. The Daily Fail was delighted to announce:

Rather appropriately, the teenage actresses have posed in a titillating shoot for lesbian magazine Diva, which sees them sharing a romantic bath together.

Seriously, Fail, “titillating”? God bless your cottons.

Aw, congrats to Helene Faasen and Anne-Marie Thus celebrate their tenth anniversary tomorrow:

On April 11, 2001, The Netherlands was the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage. Helene and Anne-Marie were one of four same-sex couples who tied the knot at the stroke of midnight by the Mayor of Amsterdam.

Mary Byrne apparently shocked everyone by announcing during the week:

She told New magazine, “A long time ago, in my early 20s, I had a fleeting relationship with a woman. It was just a one-off thing. I’d just come out of a bad relationship with a man and someone was there.”

Prepare yourself to be shocked some more, I’m about to reveal the results of a study. Whew, I felt faint there for a second, having control over sharing this information makes me feel weak

The study, which was conducted by a British funeral business, found that on average, men start to feel old at age 58. Unfortunately, women start to feel older far earlier — around age 29. Which is more than a little depressing.

I don’t want to be morbid but if you’re going to assess someone who’s in your funeral parlour picking out a coffin, they are probably not feeling on top of the world and would be a tad negative? Just a thought.

Even poor Gandhi isn’t safe from us ‘moes and our agenda.

Thankfully I didn’t see this ‘story’ yesterday, I would have fallen for it. Seriously, gullible.com is moi!

Sigourney Weaver, you are a goddess. That’s all I have to say on the matter.

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One was our poll asking whether people would agree with the Irish government deporting (non-Irish) LGBT people to countries where same-sex acts are criminalised.

There was also our article on the removal of any reference to sexual orientation from a UN resolution on extra-judicial executions. This despite the fact that several independent experts have reported to the UN about the grave abuses perpetrated in particular against LGBT people.

Yes, human rights – or, more accurately, human rights violations – are quite topical for us who are dykes, queers, faggots, deviants, possessed, witches, criminals, unnaturals, against God’s law, et al. There remain countries in the world where this is how we are viewed, including scores of countries where we are criminalised for who we are, and in six of these the penalties include execution.

When LGBTs flee such countries to seek asylum, will we get protection? How does Ireland treat asylum seekers who fear persecution because of their sexual orientation or gender identity?

Unfortunately, it’s not just in far-away countries that LGBTs are threatened. Problems in Europe – including in Ireland – persist. Added to the worrying events of recent years (just look at Bulgaria, Lithuania, Russia), there are some very sinister developments.

Europe

In Sweden, a lesbian couple who applied for refugee status has been threatened with deportation to Iraq. If returned, the women fear (among other things) that they may be subjected to so-called “honour killings”. In a bid to prevent the women being removed by the Swedish authorities back to Iraq, an emergency application was made to the European Court of Human Rights (under its “Rule 39″ procedures) to put a hold on their removal pending their cases being examined by the Court.

It is up to the Swedish government to honour the Court’s request and not return the women. The matter is ongoing, and only one of the women has received confirmation that she will not be deported, for now.

In the Czech Republic, gays – that is, gay men – are being subjected to “gay tests”. This is not a joke. Some refugee claimants who base their application on the grounds of their sexual orientation have been put through “phallometric” tests: the men are shown straight porn videos and, well, their anatomical responses are measured. The Czech government has defended the procedures.

The EU’s Fundamental Rights Agency has strongly criticised the practice. According to PinkNews:

The FRA said the practice violates international human rights laws which prohibit torture and inhumane or degrading treatment. It may also violate provisions around the right to a private life.

In addition, it questioned whether asylum seekers could consent to the test if refusal is taken as proof of lying.

The UN High Commissioner for Refugees has stated that:

self-identification as LGBT should be taken as an indication of the individual’s sexual orientation

I’d bet my next pay-cheque that no asylum applicant anywhere in the world, ever, has had their sexual orientation called into question when they’ve claimed to be straight.

Ireland

In Ireland, there is very little information in the public domain about the treatment of LGBT asylum seekers here. Although Gaelick is aware of cases where worrying decisions have been issued refusing refugee status – and at least one case where a deportation order has been signed – the anecdotal evidence available cannot be disclosed to protect individuals’ identities and to ensure their privacy and safety.

Amnesty Ireland’s LGBT group brought our attention to one case in the media, however. Last month, a gay man – who was an unaccompanied child at the time of his initial application for refugee status in Ireland – won his challenge to a deportation order signed by the Minister for Justice and Law Reform, Dermot Ahern. The only problem is that the deportation order was issued in 2009, and the deportation was subsequently carried out and the man was returned to his country of origin.

The Evening Herald reported:

The man, who cannot be identified and is referred to as ‘A’, was deported last year after several other challenges were rejected.

Mr Justice Sean Ryan yesterday [12th November 2010] quashed the Minister for Justice’s decision of July 28 last year to refuse to revoke his deportation order for the man.

The man is still in Nigeria and yesterday’s decision does not mean he can come back to Ireland until the minister re-considers his decision, legal sources said.

In Nigeria, same-sex activity is a federal criminal offence country-wide. In individual states in the north of the country, Shari’ah law also applies. Elsewhere the majority of people practice various forms of Christianity, often mixed with elements of traditional religions including juju. Therefore, not only are there serious criminal sanctions in place, but societal attitudes are very strongly opposed to homosexuality.

How many other LGBT asylum seekers have been deported to unsafe countries where they may face torture, death or other forms of serious harm? Perhaps our next poll question should be: Why is Ireland deporting LBGT people to countries where they are criminalised and persecuted?

Persecution and seeking international protection: the good and the bad

A couple of months back, Orange wrote about developments in refugee cases, where asylum seekers were challenging through the UK courts refusals they received in their refugee applications. The refusals were issued with the reasoning that if those people returned to their countries were “discrete” (i.e. if they concealed their identities, or remained closeted) that would be an acceptable way for them to avoid being persecuted. The countries we’re talking about here are – wait for it – Cameroon and Iran. Iran.

Thankfully, the developments developed and sanity prevailed when the UK Supreme Court ruled on the matter in July of this year. (The court’s decision is equally applicable in Ireland, as human rights and refugee law is basically the same worldwide.)

The key part of the ruling emphatically dismisses the idea that lesbians or gay men should in any way conceal their identities and not “flaunt” who they are, or that they are required to be discreet. The ruling essentially boiled the correct approach down to a number of questions:

• When someone claims they fear persecution because they are gay, does the evidence indicate they are, or might be perceived to be, gay?

• If so, does the evidence show that “openly” gay people in that country may be persecuted?

• If so, what would this claimant do if returned to the country?

• If s/he would live openly and therefore be at risk of persecution, then s/he is a refugee – even if s/he could avoid the risk by living “discreetly”.

• If, however, s/he would live discreetly, the question must be asked why they would do that.

• If s/he would live discreetly simply because that his how s/he wishes to live, or because of social pressures (e.g. not wanting to distress or embarrassment to family or friends) then s/he is not a refugee.

• If, however, the reason for living discreetly is because of a fear of persecution, then s/he is a refugee.

The court explained:

To reject his application on the ground that he could avoid the persecution by living discreetly would be to defeat the very right which the [Refugee Convention] exists to protect – his right to live freely and openly as a gay man without fear of persecution.

It is that simple.

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2. Human Rights: Hillary Clinton’s speech to the UN
3. The Kaleidoscope Trust

First up, we posted it in our Facebook page a few days ago but still, its good news so we want to really share:
A lesbian couple have made history in Botswana by becoming the first to publicly reveal their relationship despite homosexuality being illegal in the country.

Homosexuality is currently illegal in Botswana, but they felt the time was right for them to show the way for other gay and lesbian couples even though those found having been engaged in gay acts can face imprisonment.

Very brave women.

Some say its good news, others say bad news:

The Pearl’s Rainbow guesthouse will allow male visitors — a sign of the down economy but also a signal of the growing acceptance of female couples.

Pearl’s Rainbow’s lesbian owner, Heather Carruthers, said it was a business decision based on tough economic realities, the request of some lesbian guests who would like to bring male family members or friends — and on some good news. Lesbians are being more accepted and feel more comfortable in the mainstream these days.

Another lesbians have babies report. When will they learn? Its not really news! We’ve been doing it for years now.

Celebrating life with gay abandon India celebrates their 3rd Pride Festival.

For the 2,000-strong crowd that had gathered to walk from Barakhamba Road to Jantar Mantar, the sense of achievement and hope was palpable. “It has been a year since the Delhi high court decision decriminalising homosexuality under Section 377 came out. And the change is visible. Though the judgment dealt only with the reading down of the existing law but the effect has been dramatic. Suddenly being homosexual became a legitimate identity,”said Gautam Bhan, a gay activist.

‘Great’ news from gaynz.com. L Word creator developing new lesbian series Hope its not any more real lesbians. I couldn’t take real lesbians, give me fake ones anyday. Shane, how we miss you.

What’s another label between friends. ‘Flexisexual’ girls flirt with both genders That said the word flexible brings all sort of images to mind and its before breakfast :O

But wait,

If an opportunity presents itself they may think “why not” , particularly if they have come out of a long relationship,” the Daily Mail quoted psychologist Cecelia D’Felice as saying.

Aha. The Fail must be missing the ladies of Lip Service, much like we all are.

This is why we love Dolly

Parton believes her large gay following is due to the fact that she does not judge people on their sexuality. She said: “I have so many fans that always love to come to the shows and they know that I’m not judging them,” and she added: “I don’t think gay people are trying to just be different just to make other people miserable.”

The first same-sex pair to compete in any global version of Dancing With the Stars has been eliminated from competition.

“I have realized that dance is about coordination and energy between two people, whether female or male,” Tov said in the article. “Because I share my life with a woman and have a family with her, to me this is the most natural thing to do.”

and finally, Lesbians Lead Oscar Race I, personally, think whilst the movie The Kids Are Alright was pretty bad, see click_here’s review of it, Annette Benning was outstanding.

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Not only is this untrue, I think it’s dangerous to progressing the cause of LGBT rights at the international level. So, what are the rumours, and what are the facts?

The rumours

Screaming headlines such as, “Countries vote to accept execution of gays” from PinkPaper.co.uk (not to be confused with PinkNews.co.uk), tweets and Facebook updates a-plenty; even the kind-of-but-not-really-accurate headline, “UN votes against protecting gays from execution”, from The Raw Story – these all misrepresent what actually happened at the UN.

The facts

The facts are there to read for yourselves, if you visit Reuters, or Evelyn Leopold’s excellent article at HuffPo – or even over at Queerty, with the not-really-misleading-but-it-actually-kind-of-is article headline, “Why It’s No Big Deal Gays Weren’t Added To The United Nation’s Special List Of People Not To Slaughter”.

In short, what took place was that a draft resolution against on extrajudicial, summary and arbitrary executions was being put to a vote for final approval. The resolution included a list of particular prohibited reasons, and groups who were to be protected from such unlawful killings, such as: racial, national, ethnic, religious or linguistic reasons; and killings of refugees, indigenous people. Included in the resolution, according to Evelyn Leopold, were paragraphs urging investigations of all killings “committed for any discriminatory reason, including sexual orientation” (actual or perceived).

On behalf of Islamic and African nations, respectively, Morocco and Mali proposed an amendment to the resolution to delete the words “sexual orientation” and replace that phrase with “discriminatory reasons on any basis”. The amendment was passed – by less than a handful of votes.

Arguably, then, LGBs are still protected under the resolution, although not specifically mentioned. (Notably, it seems that there was never any mention of gender identity, or similar wording, so that trans or intersex people were not specifically listed. I’m open to correction on that, however.)

That’s not to say, of course, that things are rosy and that what happened at the UN isn’t deeply worrying.

The entire point of the resolution was to protect specifically persecuted groups. Report after report has been prepared and submitted to the UN by independent experts (known as Special Rapporteurs), including reports detailing killings of LGB people. After the vote, Philippe Bolopion of Human Rights Watch told Reuters:

It’s a step backwards and it’s extremely disappointing that some countries felt the need to remove the reference to sexual orientation, when sexual orientation is the very reason why so many people around the world have been subjected to violence.

The UK delegation at the vote read a statement into the record saying that killings of gays is “a continuing cause for concern.”

It should be mentioned that a lot of lobbying work goes on at the UN, by NGOs and expert organisations; and also by two notable entities. One is the Vatican (or Holy See), which is not a member state at the United Nations, but does have permanent observer status. The other is the Organisation of Islamic Countries (OIC). Each of these lobbies heavily to influence the content of UN resolutions, treaties, motions, reports and so on. Sometimes – almost incredibly – the Vatican and OIC work closely together in their lobbying. The most obvious example are their joint efforts against the inclusion of any references to sexual orientation in UN documents.

Why are the rumours about this resolution dangerous?

In my view, at least, the shrill hyperbole irresponsibly circulating at the moment accuses the United Nations (as a single entity, it should be noted) of virtually signing the death warrants of gays around the world. This is dangerous, I think, because it detracts from the real challenges faced by gays around the world. It also misconstrues the resolution, even with its amendment, as being weaker than it actually is.

The UN resolution: Where does Ireland stand?

I contacted the Permanent Mission of Ireland to the UN in New York to ask about their involvement concerning this resolution.

A spokesman replied to Gaelick late last night to outline Ireland’s position:

Ireland has traditionally co-sponsored the draft resolution on “Extrajudicial, summary and arbitrary executions” and actively participated in the informal negotiations on this most recent version in New York over the last six weeks. Ireland participated in meetings of the co-sponsors of this resolution, where it was decided to oppose attempts to delete the reference to “sexual orientation” in the text, which has been included in the resolution since the 57th session of the UN General Assembly in 2002.

Ireland voted against the amendment brought by Morocco and Mali (on behalf of the Organisation of the Islamic Conference and the African Group respectively), which removed the reference to sexual orientation. Regrettably, the amendment was narrowly passed by 79 votes in favour, with 70 votes against and 17 abstentions.

The resolution as a whole was then voted on and, given the overall importance of this traditional resolution, Ireland voted in favour notwithstanding our reservations on the deletion of the reference to sexual orientation. The amended resolution was adopted by 165 votes in favour, none against and 10 abstaining.

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If you are aged under 23 years this group is for you!

Meetings take place:

6pm-8pm
Every Wednesday
11A White Street, Cork

What’s On Offer at Phoenix?

• Art as a Therapy
• Come Dine With Me – Cooking on a budget!
• Mind body & soul
• Mental health
• Sexual health
• Group Support
• One-to-one counselling service

• LINC Is a Community Resource Centre For Women Who Identify As Lesbian Or Bisexual. We Provide Information, Help & Support Either By Telephone or Personal Enquiry.

Web: www.linc.ie
Email: info@linc.ie
Tel: 021 4808600

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Of course, if you plan on recording or watching one of the re-runs later, then avert your eyes! Otherwise: join us. We’ll get things started from around 9:30pm.

Everything will happen over on our live blog. How to join in? There are two ways:

• If you have a Twitter account, you can use Twitter as normal – just be sure to use our hashtag #GaeLip and your tweet will be automatically included.

• Or else you can comment directly on the live blog.

You can follow Gaelick on Twitter at twitter.com/gaelick.

And don’t forget that if you want to keep up with the thousands of other viewers across the UK and Ireland, the official Lip Service hashtag on Twitter is #LipService.

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The group is billed as a great way to meet new people, as well as to try out acting and performing in a supportive environment. And absolutely no experience is necessary to join!

What is more, this week Acting Out presents the latest in the series, “OutTakes – Acting Out At The Movies”. This is a selection of cinema’s finest moments, all in one sitting. From Gone with the Wind to Scream and Cruel Intentions to Toy Story, they’ve got every genre covered – and, rest assured it’s all done in their own unique way!

Brought to you by (in their own words!) some of Ireland’s greatest drama queens, OutTakes is running for just two nights in Outhouse: 17th & 18th November 2010.

Tickets are on sale now! – TEXT 0851289130 with your name and ticketing requirements!!

• Acting Out

Where: Outhouse, 105 Capel Street
When: Every Thursday
Web: www.actingoutdrama.com
Facebook: Acting Out
Email: howard.lodge@virgin.net
Phone: 0851289130

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The Cork Rebel Awards were established as a non profit collaboration between the Cork Gay Project, Cork Pride, GayCork.com and L.inC to acknowledge LGBT people and organisations for their contributions, work and support to the Cork LGBT community.

The inaugural event was held on the 30th of May 2009 in Scotts Bar as part of Cork Pride Festival, but for 2010 it was decided to hold the awards in their own right, later in the calendar.

This year the public was invited to nominate people and organisations their choices, which were added to the shortlists. The overall winner of each award was then chosen by the Rebel Awards committee with consultation with the Cork Gay Project and L.inC.

And the winners are…

• Mens initiative: Unite

• Women’s initiative: Women’s fun weekend

• Social Group: UCC LGBT

• Straight Up Award: Rev. Brian O’Rourke, Rector of St. Anne’s, Shandon

• LGBT Friendly Business: Freakscene

• Honorary Corkionan: Marriage Equality

• Peoples Choice: Divine Miss M

• Outstanding Contribution: Team Cork (Gay Games) & Kate Gaffney (Miss Gay Ireland)

• Lifetime achievement: Helen Slattery of LinC

Congratulations to all those who made the shortlist and to all the winners!

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But this particular retailer is a little more interesting than that. Forever 21 (I won’t be linking) is a USA-based retailer that sells cheap, slutty trendy clothes to the young folk. It also sells a lot more.

The chain’s ethics and practices have been called into question on several occasions over the past decade. In 2001, manufacturing workers staged a boycott of the company over wages and working conditions. The matter went to court, but was settled before a ruling was issued. Without formally admitting any wrongdoing, the company undertook to ensure its garments were not made in sweatshop conditions. Lovely.

Until 2004, it sold clothing with real animal fur until protests pressurised them to cease the practice.

The company has been the subject of several lawsuits by fashion brands and designers over infringement of intellectual property rights (i.e. being accused of robbing designs); the company and its advertisers were also accused by a UK artist of copying an interactive installation for their store in Times Square, New York.

Apart from all of that, each and every bag from Forever 21 bears an inscription: “John 3:16″.

This is a reference to a verse from the Bible: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Yes, people. The US equivalent of Penneys is happily proselytising to each and every unsuspecting shopper. The owners of Forever 21 and its spin-off brands – husband and wife, Dong-Won Chang and Jin Sook – are Christian converts, and they sing it from the roof tops. Or from the bag bottoms. According to Wikipedia, a spokeswoman from Forever 21′s Los Angeles headquarters said the Biblical reference is a “demonstration of the owners’ faith.”

But that’s not all. Jezebel, via Radar magazine, tells us that “designers go on Christian missions around the world, and the company gives shitloads of money to orphanages and churches and Christian educational institutions”.

Jezebel continues:

Mrs. Chang, who attends pre-dawn services every day and strongly encourages her vendors to do the same, makes it a piot to give Christians in the industry a leg up, too. “She plucks young designers out of the companies she’s working with,” he says. “And if they’re Christian and religious, she puts them in business.” Rowena Rodriguez, a 33-year-old fashion consultant and one-time “unbeliever” who was born again with Mrs. Chang’s help, may be one of those lucky designers. “In the short time I worked with Mrs. Chang, my life was transformed, and I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior,” she recalls in an email interview. “Mrs. Chang prayed me into the Kingdom! Rodriguez says she has been approached by executives looking for the secrt to Forever 21′s phenomenal success. “I usually say, ‘If you really want to know, I’ll tell you. But you won’t believe me… The Changs love Jesus!”

So don’t say you haven’t been warned. If you decide to pay a visit, think very carefully about how you spend your scarce and hard-earned euro.

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You “love” Sam Murray.  But do you?  Do you??

The dilemma: Sam or Frankie. Much like: strawberries or a plate of vomit. Or: jazz tootlings or Justin Beiber. (They do look similar, don’t they?) Or: a hot cop or a feckin’ feck-up.

Here’s some Lip Service from yours truly: Sort yerself out, woman! If you can’t see how fantastically fantastic Officer McDreamy is (and don’t forget, your words: “I’m too old to be dating fuck ups!”), then there’s just no helping you.

Let us compare and contrast:

Officer McDreamy:

• Sorted.

• Is really rather tall, actually.

• Doesn’t mind being called “a moose”.

• Can be brave.

• Copes well with stress.

• Has perspective. Helped by seeing corpses.

• Copes well with shirts. And trouser suits. And waistcoats.

• Doesn’t shag boys.

• Can be a bit scary. In a good way.

• Thoroughly attends to her “desk duties” whenever required.

Frankly Odd:

• Bananas.

• Mopes with unnecessary camera appendage.

• Is unable to not shag every woman she passes.

• Shags kleptomaniacs.

• Pouts.

• Shags in morgues next to corpses.

• Has hair that’s almost as bad as Shane McCutcheon’s. Or Justin Bieber’s.

• Shags boys.

• Lacks perspective. (Shagging next to corpses doesn’t seem to help.)

• Stirs shit.  At every possible opportunity.

• Might possibly not actually be Francesca Alan.

I think, therefore, we can scientifically conclude that Detective Sergeant Sam Murray is your only woman.

Oh and Cat, no thanks is needed. ‘Tis nay bother, hen.

• Lip Service on BBC3

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What’s so unusual about this?  Well, I actually feel for the guy.  He titled his ad as “Gay man wants to be a dad“.  This terminology screams as far as I am concerned.  The man didn’t want to donate and head off, he wanted to be a dad.  Furthermore, he went on to say that he wanted “a little involvement”.  However, the mothers are saying that he is marginalising the non-biological mother with his forceful personality.  Now usually my bias kicks in and I am all in favour of the mothers, but this guy obviously wanted involvement, the title of his ad couldn’t have been clearer.

Earlier this year a court judged that the man should see the children half the time and have over 100 over-nights.  The man has offered a three-way residency order for the children but this has been rejected, the mothers are looking for full residency.  The appeal hearing is continuing but I have to admit to thinking the women were naive if they thought they could answer an ad with a title like that and have full residency.  They could argue that “a little involvemnt” is not what he is getting, but rather he has quite a lot of access, but I still keep coming back to the fact that they should have known what he was looking for.

This case shows, yet again, the need for the law to recognise alternative families and to have legal documents that can be drawn up, before conception, so that arrangements like this don’t arrive.  Nobody is a winner in this kind of situation, least of all the children.

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Cork Institute of Technology’s LGBT Society brings us news of this week’s LGBT programme, Outlook, as part of the Cork Film Festival.

There are a number of feature films and documentaries, as well as women’s and men’s shorts on Sunday evening. Included in the Outlook programme is Stonewall Uprising, reviewed on this here blog a little while back.

Tickets can be purchased online or at the Festival box office, and the Festival has special offers with Cork’s Luigi Malone’s restaurant.

UPDATE

From a commenter, Toma, on our Facebook page: “SNAP” the first feature from out and proud writer and director Carmel Winters and producer Martina Niland is showing at the Opera House on Saturday 13th at 6 30. Snap stars Ashling O’Sullivan and Eileen Walsh.  For more info go to the Snap Facebook page.

• 55th Cork Film Festival, 7th-14th November 2010. Box Office: The Foyer, Cork Opera House, Emmet Place – Tel. 021-427 1160

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1. OutLook: LGBT films at the Cork Film Festival
2. GAZE 2011: Dublin International LGBT Film Festival
3. Limerick Pride Festival: 3rd – 11th September 2011