I’m sick to death of people giving out about the way gay people chose to express themselves. I’m tired of Brenda Power and her ilk disparging the attire of members of the LGBT community at Pride and other LGBT events. But most of all, I’m disgusted at the people who use this as an excuse to not participate in these events.

Brenda Powers apparently once glimpsed (on the singular occasion she happened to be in town as the Pride parade was on) some guys with their asses hanging out of their pants… And she feels this is a bad representation of the LGBT community. Who is she to judge this? Does it ever occur to her or any of the other nay-sayers that maybe this is how these individuals feel comfortable? I haven’t witnessed such things myself, but maybe that is how they wish to embrace and celebrate their sexuality?

There are those who think that LGBT people marching in Pride should dress “normally” and try to aid LGBT people’s assimilation into “normal” (ie. heteronormative) society. Who are anyone to say what qualifies for normal? Their version of normal may not be “normal” for anyone else. Each person is an individual, and their presentation of their individually should be accepted, embraced and even celebrated.

I’ll be honest here. When I took my first tentative steps out of the closet, and later participated in my first Pride, pre coming out to my parents, I was worried that my parents would see the images of half naked people walking the streets and find it hard to accept me, as they would see that as being “the gay lifestyle”. However, I soon realised that the LGBT community comes in many different guises, shapes and sizes, and in many different forms, and I now openly celebrate this fact. The diversity is what makes Pride Pride, and I think that some of the critics should do what I did and actually participate in, and embrace, Pride. Trust me, you’ll never look back.

I constantly get berated for having short hair and dressing so “dykey”…This confuses me. I dressed this way when I identified as straight. I dressed this way when I had a boyfriend. I dress the way I dress because its how I’m comfortable, and I wear my hair short cos it suits me better than my long hair did. And thats my choice. That’s me being an individual.

Similarly, I’m sure everyone else presents themselves the way they do because that’s how they’re comfortable, and how they wish to express their individuality.

Finally, to the people who don’t participate in Pride because it “doesn’t represent them”… How do you know if you don’t go along? More importantly, how can it represent you if YOU don’t participate? Just a thought…

Related posts:

1. Pride. It’s not shame.

Since then, however, I’ve been hearing the odd commentator – horror of horrors, including gays – agreeing with Power and some of the things she has to say in the interview.

This will not stand.

Equality

Us LGBTs, our relationships and our families are entitled to equality and respect in law and society. We’re currently denied that. This is an undisputed fact. Brenda Power and her ilk introduce several straw-man arguments to these issues in order to distract from the central issues of equality.

LGBT couples deserve equal treatment in our relationships. We also deserve equal treatment when it comes to being considered as adoptive parents; it’s up to the adoption board to decide who is eligible to adopt.

And, whatever your views on joint adoption, the fact is – NEWSFLASH – that gay couples in Ireland today already have children, any many others are planning their families’ futures. So this is not a discussion in the abstract of what might be – families are in need of protection right now, as you’re reading this.

Misogyny

One of the claims that Power makes, and with which some of her supporters agree, is that the criticism directed towards her has been as a result of misogyny. A connection is also made between drag (see below) and misogyny.

I would reject this first claim completely. Firstly, Power fails to cite any specific examples of the correspondence she has received since her article last year. She’s relying solely on her own unsupported assertion. Such assertions do not deserve attention in any serious discussion.

A second reason I reject her claim is that, for one, there are plenty of lesbians who are highly critical of her stance – this blog is an example – and there certainly is no misogyny motivating that criticism. There are also plenty of others who are highly critical of the view Power espouses – gay and straight, male and female – and again, misogyny is absent, where as rebutting the argument is very evident. Anecdotal as it may be, my friends and family members of varying hues are all examples.

If she can provide evidence of concerted campaign of misogynist abuse directed towards her – there may well be isolated incidences – then, let’s discuss that, as a separate matter to the marriage equality debate. And no, Brenda, the fact that everyone on the internet can read your ill-informed arguments does not a concerted campaign make.

Otherwise, it’s my view that the misogyny buzz-word is being bandied about in order to silence debate of her views.

Drag

Power also feels the need to introduce her views on drag performance into the mix. Presumably this is due to her recent awareness of Panti. She thinks that drag performance is misogynistic.

Reading the interview with GCN, Power clearly demonstrates a total lack of understanding of what drag is and where it’s come from. Even Tallyman, in his latest demonstration of Uncle Tommery, back-tracks on his initial statement – where he states that drag is misogynistic – to a different stance in the comments, where he then claims that some individual drag queens in Ireland can be misogynistic.

I have read and reread the article to try and find some glimmer of good journalism, and unbiased questioning, I have failed to find some. Brenda made some excellent points about drag – it is to a large extent misogynistic with over the top femininity and flamboyant exaggerations – often direct attacks at gay mens perceived weakness of women.

It’s not so much a blanket accusation on the motivations on all drag acts – but there is an element of it, and there certainly an element of it amongst some Irish drag queens – and I certainly don’t think it something that Ms. Panti believes in.

And indeed, I’d agree with the latter. There is an elementary mistake, however, in seeking to generalise from the individual to the general. Drag, however – whether we’re talking kings or queens – is subversion, parody, satire, art.

Specifically in relation to Panti, let’s make some things perfectly clear (again, for the nth time):

Panti did not choose to represent the LGBT community. The LGBT community did not choose Panti to be its representative. As events have played out, however, Panti – and the creator of that persona, Rory O’Neill – have made some impressive, strong and astute statements, rallying the community including perhaps many who previously would not have felt engaged in the marriage equality debate.

Moreover, Rory O’Neill/Panti is by no means the sole voice in the equality debate, and to try to insist this is just facile and misleading.

Diversity & self-expression

Power and her supporters also seem to have formed opinions on the various types of people in the LGBT community. Power bases this on the Dublin Pride march. She claims to have viewed it once, I think.

Number one: Forming an opinion about LGBT people based on looking at the Dublin Pride march is like forming an opinion about Irish people based on looking at the Dublin St. Patrick’s Day parade: the gays are all “colourful” and “outrageous”; the Irish are all puke-covered drunkards.

Number two: Notwithstanding the above, our community is a diverse one. There is no one cookie-cutter type of LGBT person, and why should there be? Now, I’ve never seen “arses hanging out” at Pride, so it may have been that Power was at the Alternate Universe Pride, but I digress: there are all kinds of queer. Why should anyone expect another person to simply conform to someone’s particular type?

Should the gays just sit down and wait to be told how to look, behave, act, think? Certainly, if LGBTs never put their heads above the parapet, sex between consenting male adults would probably still be a criminal offence in this country.

We’re here, Brenda, and we’re not shutting up; we’re not staying quiet; and we’re not going to wait for your fucking approval.

Getting personal

Poor Brenda, though. She thinks that people who contacted her about last year’s article, and people who criticise her views, were getting personal. She says that people commented about her. They commented about her family. They commented about her children. They commented about her life.

Well. Welcome to every day of every one of our lives, Brenda.

Every day, the personal is political, particularly if you’re an LGBT person. So much so, that the Irish State – of which we are residents, taxpayers, citizens, voters – feels it has a right to interfere with our private lives and dictate how they should be lived.

So much so, that any busybody – like Brenda Power, like Kevin Myers, like Mary Kenny, like Pat Kenny, like Ian O’Doherty, like politicians, like Brendan O’Connor, like any wittering opinion-writer with a public voice – thinks that they have a right to make judgments about us.

And “us”, Brenda, means people. People with lives. People with families. People with loved ones. People who are trying to get on with the day-to-day despite constant interference.

Deal with it, Brenda. We do.

No related posts.

(Her article appeared in the UK edition of the Mail, but not the Irish edition. Clearly, the tiny-minded powers that be in that rag continue to think little of the Irish – we can access to your website, you know.)

Moir issued a few mealy-mouthed words of self-pitying “apology” shortly after literally thousands of comments, Twitter and Facebook messages, and blog posts poured scorn on her assertions (she was the victim of an organised internet campaign, apparently). Now that she’s sufficiently and callously “raised her profile”, the stupid bitch has done a Brenda Power and cobbled together her follow-up article purporting to include an apology to Gately’s family members and then proceeding to basically defend her original article. (“Absolutely none of this had anything to do with his sexuality. If he had been a heterosexual member of a boy band, I would have written exactly the same article.” Bullshit.)

And no, I’m not linking to the latest article. Off you go to Google, if you want to give the paper the traffic.

Notwithstanding the disgusting comments in her piece last week, this is more than about Jan Moir, however.

A report in yesterday’s Guardian cited research by the Metropolitan Police showing an increase of 20% in reported homophobic crimes in London over the past year. Policing and relations between LGBT people and the police appear to have improved; however homophobic crimes appear to be on the rise. Homophobic crime has also skyrocketed in recent times in Northern Ireland, including serious threats and violence.

In the 26 counties of Ireland, there are many Garda LGBT Liaison Officers nationwide, and they do sterling work – within the limits they are prescribed, however. The organ of the State for which they work – An Garda Síochána – does not see fit to record crimes as homophobic or hate crimes. Therefore, unlike in the UK, there is no official way of understanding levels of crimes and abuse based on actual or perceived homophobia. (This is last I checked, by the way. I would be delighted to be corrected on this.)

Instead, we can only rely on anecdotes and surveys by interested organisations to provide us with indications.

What is certain, however, is that certain people in society need very little to ignite whatever malice and latent violence that exists within them. Words light a spark, then inflame and turn this destructive feeling into a roaring ball of hate fire, blazing unchecked and unmediated across society.

This is not intended to add any further pain to Gately’s loved ones, by referring to him in yet another online opinion. Nor, indeed, is this is about the Jan Moirs or Brenda Powers of the world. And certainly, this is not about silencing those who preach homophobia.

This is, however, about speaking – as loudly as possible – to those preachers, to name their vicious polemics for what they are; and to plainly set out the undeniable logic which runs between thinly-veiled, mealy-mouthed homophobia, right through the spectrum of such phobia, to its violent manifestation resulting in injury and killings.

And no amount of poor-mouth non-apologies from the authors of homophobic diatribes will detract from that.

Related posts:

1. Álainn or Appallin’: Mná na hÉireann in uniform

My legal-eagle colleagues will eloquently refute her prejudiced and disingenuous remarks in relation to marriage. I’m particularly incensed by her slur on LGBT families. How can she dare to suggest that being brought up in what she calls “an outwardly unconventional home” damages children and their “prospects for a rounded self-image, the likelihood of social acceptance in their crucial formative years”?

My teenage daughter has marched with me at Pride for the last three years – and has relished the excitement, warmth and possibilities of openness, tolerance and diversity on the streets of Dublin. She loves the colourful celebration that is Pride and – unlike Ms. Power – was profoundly impressed with Panti’s unifying, intelligent and (as always) witty speech. I’m thrilled that she is learning the underlying politics from such an articulate spokesperson. She’ll need this as she moves out in the world…and faces the only real threat to ‘self-image’ as a teenager in a lesbian family – the ugly prejudice and close-mindedness of the Brenda Powers of this world.

Related posts:

1. Spreadin’ the news
2. Dublin Pride 2011 Events Listings
3. What’s on in June