Yesterday the government introduced the Finance Bill 2012. The proposed legislation will be discussed today in the Dáil. “So far, so boring,” I hear you say.

Well, yes. But, in amongst the latest raft of measures implementing economic shock doctrine in Ireland, there are provisions which affect civil partners.

GLEN, not surprisingly, have cheerfully welcomed the measures as “extending equal treatment for civil partners in the tax codes”. Given the organisation’s record on how they represent civil partnerships, however, I’d be a bit sceptical and prefer to read the document and wait for the Oireachtas debates myself.

The relevant bit is in Part 6 at Section 117 (“Miscellaneous amendments: civil partners”). Unfortunately, since it’s a series of amendments, it may be difficult to make sense of it at first glance (unless you’re a tax lawyer, say).

The government’s simplified version is:

Section 117 makes a change in respect of the tax treatment of civil partners subsequent to the passing of Finance (No. 3) Act 2011. The section addresses issues in relation to maintenance arrangements for
civil partners as compared to the maintenance relief provisions for married couples.

It also places civil partnerships on the same footing as married relationships where it is accepted, that after the break-up of a relationship, often for economic reasons, persons may continue to live under the same roof.

A number of minor technical amendments identified after passage of Finance (No. 3) Act 2011 are also being dealt with.

On first glance, and with precisely no expertise whatsoever, here’s my own (probably wrong) initial assessment:

One of the amendments relates to “rent-a-room relief” and means that now if a child is paying rent to their civilly-partnerfied parents for a room in the parents’ private residence, that rental income is not exempt from income tax (within a certain upper limit).

Stay with me, now.

Another amends the law relating to “wear and tear allowances for licences for public hire vehicles“. Jesus wept. Anyway, the amendment means that civil partners are included as well as spouses in being recognised as the “beneficial owner” of the vehicle licence upon the death of their partner.

Cheery.

The next amendment appears (to this lay person’s eyes at least) to be a bit of a semantic change. The section that’s amended, however is interesting. It currently states: “in the case of civil partners where they are not living separately and apart in circumstances where reconciliation is unlikely [...]“.

“Where reconciliation is unlikely”? Really? Does anyone else remember the big deal the then Minister for Justice, Fianna Fáil’s Dermot Ahern, made about being unable to include any mention in the Civil Partnership Bill about requiring family lawyers to explore the possibility of reconciliation before pursuing a dissolution of a civil partnership?

His justification was that it would be “unconstitutional” to include such a requirement. (Please..) And yet, since the Fine Gael Labour government has come to power, the prospect or otherwise of reconciliation is important when it comes to tax law? How curious. Does anyone know if the main Civil Partnership Act has been similarly amended?

It’s a good thing, certainly, since the clause relates to children and one-parent family tax credits – but it’s still a general contradiction, isn’t it?

Moving on.

The next amendment relates to the definition of “dependent relatives”. Surviving civil partners are included as being dependent relatives. Two things, however: they can be the parent of an individual, of the parent of an individual’s husband or wife; but there is no mention of the parent of an individual’s civil partner. The dependent relative, if they are a surviving civil partner, must also have not entered into a further marriage or civil partner; there is no such restriction mentioned in relation to a surviving spouse.

(Someone please tell me I’m reading this wrong.)

(a) In this subsection ‘dependent relative’, in relation to an individual, means a relative of the individual, or of the wife or husband of the individual, who is incapacitated by old age or infirmity from maintaining himself or herself, or a person, whether or not he or she is so incapacitated, and—

(i) who is the widowed father or widowed mother of the individual or of the wife or husband of the individual, or

(ii) who is the father or mother of the individual or of the wife or husband of the individual and is a surviving civil partner who has not subsequently married or entered into another civil partnership.

The words that spring to mind are “glaring” and “galling”.

After that, there are amendments which: include children raised by civil partners in relation to retirement funds; include surviving civil partners in relation to PRSA products; again makes a seemingly minor change (though the divil is always in the detail) in relation to income tax and civil partners living separately where reconciliation “is unlikely”; and broadens the definition of “maintenance arrangement“.

There are also seemingly minor amendments to capital acquisitions tax law, which aim to include civil partners as well as spouses; and, finally, provisions setting out the times and dates from which assessments or calculations are deemed to commence.

Ain’t equality grand?

• Finance Bill 2012 (as initiated, together with Explanatory Memorandum) (PDF)
• GLEN’s press release

Related posts:

1. Missing Pieces: The Family Home & Finance
2. Missing Pieces: Parent & child, other issues
3. Civil Partnership: “An abdication of legislative responsibility”

• Aoife Neary, a secondary school teacher and Doctoral researcher at the University of Limerick, has been in contact regarding her current research – and you can get involved!

What is this research about?

The experiences of lesbian and gay teachers who are considering, planning or have had a civil partnership or civil marriage.

What are the benefits of the research?

This research attempts to break some of the silences that have surrounded lesbian and gay teachers in Ireland in the past. Civil partnership creates a new space and opportunity to explore how lesbian and gay teachers are negotiating their way around issues related to their sexuality in their school environments. The new knowledge created by this research will inform key stakeholders in the Irish education system about the realities of the everyday lives of lesbian and gay teachers in Ireland.

What are you being invited to do?

As a teacher myself, I am very aware of the busy nature of teachers’ lives so participation in this research will be efficient and flexible! It will involve an interview with me (1 hour) and a reflective task on your everyday life (decided by you).

Please get involved! Contact:

Aoife Neary,

Secondary School Teacher and Doctoral Researcher,

Department of Sociology, University of Limerick

Email: aoife.neary@ul.ie

Tel: 086-8647474

This research is funded by the Irish Research Council for Humanities and Social Sciences

Related posts:

1. Civil Partnership seminar in Wicklow (25th Nov)
2. Civil Partnership Photography want you!
3. Civil Partnership: “An abdication of legislative responsibility”

• Here’s another article from one of our new writers, Niamh Ní Mhaoileoin. Happy New Year!

2011 has been celebrated as a great year for the LGBT community. Of course, as long as severe inequality persists, it’s difficult to wholeheartedly agree that it was a great year. We’ve seen setbacks for marriage equality in Ireland, homosexuality still criminal in 76 countries around the world, lesbians tortured in anti-gay clinics in Ecuador, the LGBT community drastically suppressed in Russia, and gay teenagers everywhere still being tormented by homophobic bullying.

All the same, 2011 has certainly upheld that crucial message; that it gets better. So, grab a cup o’ kindness and we’ll run through some of the achievements of the LGBT movement in 2011.

1. Civil Partnership

Ireland rang in the New Year with the Civil Partnership Act, which came into effect on 1st January 2011, granting considerably enhanced rights to co-habiting partners, including gay couples. On 4th April, Hugh Walsh and Barry Dignam entered into the first publicly celebrated partnership under the Act.

On 5th March, the Taoiseach outlined the government’s intentions for a constitutional convention, including a provision for discussing marriage for same-sex couples. While the parameters of the convention remain unclear, the mention of marriage equality in the Programme for Government shows that gay rights have become something of a legislative priority. As Iarnród Éireann would put it, “We’re not there yet… but we’re getting there”.

2. LGBT Representatives in the Oireachtas

The number of openly gay Oireachtas members has quadrupled in 2011. In February, Dominic Hannigan and John Lyons of the Labour Party became the first openly gay TDs in the history of the State. David Norris, despite the upsets in his presidential campaign, held the Trinity seat he’s been fighting from for the last 24 years.

Finally, in a real triumph for the LGBT community, for women, for men, for children, for Human Rights, for Ireland, for the world, the solar system and the universe… the visionary Dr Katherine Zappone was appointed to the Senate at the request of the Táiniste.

3. Born this Way

Like it or not, Gaga’s anthem, released on 23rd May, was the soundtrack of gay 2011.

Gaga is a leader in a powerful popular campaign for equality that’s taking place on people’s TVs and iPods, and in their tweets, hearts and minds.

4. Repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’

On 20th September, the United States finally repealed the insidious, twenty-year old ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy, which prevented LGBT people from serving openly in the military. At last, the army that professes to fight for freedom around the world afforded this most basic freedom to its own soldiers.

Last month the full adorable implications of the change were embodied by the ‘first kiss on land’ between Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta and Petty Officer 3rd Class Citalic Snell.

5. Hillary Clinton’s Speech

In the months since the repeal of DADT, the Obama administration has dramatically altered its foreign policy relating to gay rights. This shift culminated in Hillary Clinton’s ground breaking speech in Geneva on December 6th, urging the world’s leaders to afford LGBT people “the full measure of liberty, the full experience of dignity, and the full benefits of humanity.”

6. President Higgins

On 29th October, the election of Michael D. Higgins as the 9th President of Ireland was another victory for progressive, tolerant Ireland.

This feminist, human rights activist and LGBT ally is a true successor to the Marys Robinson and McAleese in the struggle to dismantle “the noxious apparatus of homophobia”.

7. International leaders support marriage equality

Around the world, the cause of Marriage Equality has been gaining momentum. In the UK, David Cameron has pledged that his government is now committed to discussing “how, not if” to implement full civil marriage for LGBT couples, and to have the legislation in place within the lifetime of the current parliament. The ruling Australian Labour Party also adjusted its platform to support full marriage equality.

In the USA, President Obama at last took a stronger stance on gay marriage, and voicing his support for the ‘Respect for Marriage Act’, which will invalidate DOMA. While many of the prospective Republican candidates for 2012 are virulently anti-gay, with Obama onside we’re promised a fair fight. Well, as fair as a fight can be when one side is clearly right.

8. Marriage equality in New York

On June 24th, just in time for a particularly joyful Pride, New York passed its Marriage Equality Act, becoming most populous state yet to legalise full gay marriage.

The first wedding in Manhattan was a real tearjerker, taking place between Phyllis Siegel, 77, and Connie Kopelov, 85.

9. Progress on homophobic bullying

Horrifying stories of gay bullying and suicide continued to emerge this year, most memorably that of 14-year old Jamey Rodemeyer, an out 14-year old activist and blogger. However, it seems that although change comes dropping slow, change does come.

In December, Ireland’s own Belong To were held up as role models at a UN conference in Rio, dedicated specifically tackling homophobic bullying as human rights abuse.

10. The UN’s first resolution on LGBT rights

This year the UN Human Rights Council passed a specific resolution supporting LGBT rights for the first time in its history. The resolution expresses “grave concern at acts of violence and discrimination, in all regions of the world, committed against individuals because of their sexual orientation and gender identity.”

While the resolution has no binding effect, it is a milestone in that it reflects an international shift in values. Its opponents are concerned that the Resolution will force countries to legalise homosexuality and recognise marriage equality. Here’s hoping that they’re right.

Have we missed anything important? Add your 2011 milestones in the comments!

Related posts:

1. BeLonG To’s example leads first ever UN meeting on homophobic bullying
2. LGBT Noise – March for Marriage 2011
3. I, like, like that you like this: Your fave Facebook links of 2011

Here are some of the most popular non-Gaelick links from our Facebook page this year. Lovely!

16. Women have US Navy’s first same-sex homecoming kiss

They’re gorgeous, they’re confident, and they wear amazing uniforms. They’re Officers Gaeta and Snell, and they were the first same-sex couple to have the Navy’s traditional “homecoming kiss” since the repeal of DADT. They’re the new this.

As well as the Beeb’s story, there was the video, as well as the original story and pics from The Virginian-Pilot.

Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta (23) and her girlfriend of two years, Petty Officer 3rd Class Citlalic Snell (22) share the traditional dockside “first kiss” since the US ended a ban on gays in the army.

Aren’t they only gorgeous?

15. Amber Heard: Staying in the closet in Hollywood is a horribly detrimental lie

We do love Amber Heard here on Gaelick. (At least, some of us are obsessed.)

14. Billie Jean King and Martina Navrátilová respond to Margaret Court’s homophobic rant

13. Gay couple being told they will become grandparents

12. In memory of Sonia Pierre, human rights defender

Sonia Pierre was a prominent human rights defender of African descent from the Dominican Republic, who founded and served as Director of the Movement of Dominican-Haitian Women (MUDHA). Sonia passed away at the age of 48 from a heart attack on 4 December.

11. Same-sex partnerships from abroad to be recognised in Ireland

This brings to 32 the number of jurisdictions in respect of which Ireland recognises same-sex relationships as civil partnerships, as of 25th December 2011. Of these 32 jurisdictions, 18 provide for marriage equality.

This means that (despite The Journal‘s headline) if you are validly married under the law in any of these 18 places, your marriage will be downgraded by Ireland to a civil partnership.

Happy Christmas.

10. Ellen and Sofia Vergara shoot a CoverGirl ad

9. “What’s goin’ on”

8. “Sarah Silverman’s It Gets Better message is to adults: antigay adults. Blunt and to the point.”

7. Gay Agenda planning

From the Recruitment Committee: We are facing an uphill battle. The world’s population has reached 7 billion. This means that we will have to work hard to not only maintain our strength at 10 percent of the population, but each current member will have to recruit at least three new members to reach our target goal of 11 percent in 2012. (Remember our long-range plan: 16 percent by ’16!)

6. Recently, a Michigan mayor wrote on Facebook, “I think I am going to throw away my I Love New York carrying bag now that queers can get married there”. This woman stood up with her wife and her two children and spoke directly to the mayor. She was magnificent.

5. Margaret Cho feat. Tegan & Sara: “Intervention”

4. The primary reason why cats will never develop a system of organised religion

3. Yoga Cat

2. Ah, the Burke family, of ..somewhere in Mayo

1. From Jack to Jackie: “Why I had a sex change at 16”

“I do feel guilty sometimes,” says Jackie “because my mum’s gone through all this with me and I know people judge her and think she’s done the wrong thing. But I just couldn’t wait for it to happen. She and my dad have been brilliant. When they both came to terms with the situation they helped me so much. I owe them my life.”

Related posts:

1. LGBT milestones of 2011
2. Gaelick’s top posts of 2011
3. Álainn or Appallin’: Amber Heard

This is one busy weekend around Ireland, including the Gay Prom, festive highlights, the return of Bitches Be Crazy, regular youth group meetings, and the start of 16 Days. Clear the diaries, folks!

Friday, 25th November

Nationwide

• International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women: Start of International 16 Days Action (until 10th December). In Ireland, Women’s Aid are running their 16 Days campaign – Events around Ireland are listed at the
  Women’s Aid 16 Days blog

Cork

• Participants are needed for the Ms Gay Cork contest this Sunday! Please come & support. Proceeds go to Linc and Marriage Equality. web / facebook / facebook event

Dublin

• Art for Equality in aid of Marriage Equality. 14/15 St Stephen’s Green. Exhibition of works for auction runs until 6:30pm on Sat; Auction takes place at 6:30pm on Sat.

• Bitches Be Crazy. 8pm. Fiver before 9:30pm, tenner after. BYOB. Click “I’m attending” for details.

• BeLonG To Gay Prom at the Mansion House. Doors 8pm. Excitement!

 

• Plus! The Gay Prom After-Party will take place in Copper Alley (behind the Front Lounge). Admission is FREE with your Gay Prom ticket – (or if your dressed up to the 9s). Doors 1am. The Gay Prom After-Party will be rocking ‘til the wee small hours!

• The Electric Disco in aid of Barnardos at Tripod, Dublin, 10pm. €10 before 11pm and €15 after. Running Amach info. 2FM info.

Galway

• The shOUT! peeps are looking for people interested in becoming volunteer youth leaders within the shOUT! project. Get in touch if interested! Deadline is 26th November. Phone: 087 7738529. Email: shout@youthworkgalway.ie. shOUT! is a partnership of Youth Work Ireland, Galway with the support of BeLonG To.

Wicklow

• Civil Partnership & Co-Habiting: seminar on rights and obligations. Hunters Hotel, Wicklow. Starts 7:30pm. Info at 086 8074999.

Saturday, 26th November

Donegal

• Breakout LGBT youth group. 2pm to 4pm. Contact lgbt@donegalyouthservice.ie or 085 7411 607.

Dublin

• Dublin Front Runners at the Phoenix Park from 10am. More information: dublinfrontrunners@gmail.com

• Dr Sketchy’s B&W Christmas, 3pm at Le Cirk.

• Running Amach – Circle dance afternoon at Outhouse. 4pm.

• Art for Equality in aid of Marriage Equality. 14/15 St Stephen’s Green. Auction at 6:30pm.

• Strand Street Cabaret dinner & show. 8pm.

• Klub Diva Chrimbo Shindig at The Turk’s Head. Doors 9:30pm.

• Princess Ri-Ri WAR at Andrew’s Lane Theatre. “My vagina is just as hungry as Rihanna’s.” It’s a Rihanna special. Doors 10pm.

Dundalk

• AIM Youth Group. 1pm to 3pm. Contact youth@outcomers.org or 086 162 5030.

Galway

• Ceramics workshop at shOUT! Phone: 087 7738529. Email: shout@youthworkgalway.ie

• Deadline for expressions of interest for volunteer youth leaders with shOUT!. Get in touch if interested!

• Shenanigans meet for coffee. 3pm.

• Shenanigans at Wildes Bar. 9pm.

• The Full Moon Thai Party at Dignity.

Limerick

• My LGBT Young Adults Group (18-25 years). 12noon to 2pm. Contact mylgbrss@gmail.com or (061) 310 101 / 085 285 0107.

• Rainbow Teens (14-17 years). 12noon to 2pm. Contact mylgbrss@gmail.com or (061) 310 101 / 085 285 0107.

Sunday, 27th November

Cork

• Ms Gay Cork at Chambers. Doors 9pm. Proceeds to Linc & Marriage Equality.

Dublin

• Running Amach at the Science Gallery. 12 noon.

• Dublin International Gay Social Group (D.I.G.S.) monthly Sunday meetup. 1pm.

• BeLonG To Sundays. 3pm to 6pm. Contact info@belongto.org or (01) 670 6223.

• Running Amach board games afternoon. 3pm in Temple Bar.

• Running Amach film meet up at the IFI (My Week With Marilyn). 4pm.

Waterford

• Chill Out youth group. 2pm to 4pm. Contact chillout@wstcys.ie or 086 858 9865.

Related posts:

1. BLT Sandwich (4-6 Nov)
2. BLT Sandwich (18-20 Nov)
3. BLT Sandwich (12-15 Dec)

• This just in from our friends at Gay Bray:

The Civil Partnership and Co-Habitation Act: What could it mean for you?

Whether you are contemplating civil partnership, have already tied the knot or are a co-habiting couple, you will learn about your rights and responsibilities, the financial cost and legal implications of the Civil Partnership and Co-Habitation Act.

Seminar presented by Dr Fergus Ryan, Lecturer in Law, DIT.

What? Civil Partnership & co-habiting: seminar on rights and obligations
Where? Hunters Hotel, Rathnew, Co. Wicklow.
When? Friday, 25th November. Starts 7:30pm.

For more info, call or text: 086 8074999.

Brought to you by:

lgbtdiversity / Gay Bray (gaybray@gmail.com) / AMACH Wicklow (amachwicklow@gmail.com) / County Wicklow Partnership

Earlier this year AMACH Wicklow received a grant from the Community Foundation of Ireland (CFI) to produce an event to disseminate information on The Civil Partnership and Co-Habitation Act. It was also to enable AMACH Wicklow to out-reach to more rural areas of Wicklow County to enable isolated lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals to attend an event based in County Wicklow and meet up with other LGBT people.

The event being organised is a Seminar entitled Civil Partnership and Co-habitation Act – what could it mean to you? The seminar will be presented by Fergus Ryan PhD, Lecturer in Law, DIT. It will be held on Friday 25th November at 7.30pm in Hunters Hotel, Rathnew, Co. Wicklow. There will be a short reception before the seminar.

This event is being supported by Gay Bray, LGBT Diversity and The County Wicklow Partnership.

Please give your support to this worthy event by either attending yourself and/or persuading your friends to attend.

• The event’s organisers would appreciate if you could let them know in advance if you are attending, as numbers are limited and they will need to have an idea of numbers for the hotel catering services.

Related posts:

1. North West & Midlands Regional Seminar
2. Teachers and civil partnership or marriage
3. Civil Partnership: “An abdication of legislative responsibility”

This morning, the Green Party tweeted the following:

Nice try lads – the Greens were in power when the CP Act came into being – but I don’t think so.

What President McAleese actually said in her speech at The Gala Awards is posted below. And who could blame her, with 169 differences between civil partnership and marriage?

(To say nothing of the fact that the Green Party in the past pledged its support for full marriage equality – until they had the chance to get into government, presumably.)

When called on it via Twitter, the Green Party responded by saying: “Yes, she commends [the Civil Partnership Act] and seems to want to go forward to full marriage – no contradiction in commending a step and supporting a goal.”

Really? Perhaps the Green Party shouldn’t misrepresent the main theme of the President’s speech: equality.

• Acceptance speech of President Mary McAleese on receipt of the Gala Award for LGBT-Friendly Political Figure 2011:

It’s a great honour and pleasure for me to accept this Political Figure of the Year Award from the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in Ireland and of Ireland.

2011 has been an historic year for the gay and lesbian community, with the passing of civil partnership legislation. It has been heart-warming, life-affirming to see since then the pure joy and happiness on the faces of those who have been able at last to have their loving relationships officially recognised.

Yet, we have only come a small way on the road to achieving a society where all citizens enjoy full, equal rights and civic opportunities. I pray that we can achieve full equality, and deconstruct the noxious apparatus of homophobia which attempts to demean the human person, causing such awful damage – particularly to those young people throughout the country who are coming to terms with their sexuality and sense of self.

Much has been achieved to counter this toxin, but there still remain problems to solve and work to be done. But tonight I want to pay tribute to the people who are doing the work: to the National Lesbian and Gay Federation for their advocacy for a more equal, more inclusive, more tolerant society. You are not only the custodians of the trust of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, which you represent with such passion and conviction, you are worthy exemplars for all those in Irish society who yearn to see the full realisation of the Proclamation of this country: that all the children of this nation shall be cherished equally.

May you all enjoy this wonderful evening and celebration of all that is good in your community, may I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and many kindnesses to me during my time in office.

Related posts:

1. Just Love? Marriage Equality’s funding crisis
2. Irish support same-sex marriage
3. Making some NOISE

Previously, we looked at the family home and finance and immigration and legal procedures. Today in the final of our Missing Pieces articles, we examine the issues affecting parents and children, as well as other miscellaneous issues.

• Parent and child

The findings of Marriage Equality’s audit reflects the concerns already raised by the Ombudsman for Children over the Civil Partnership Bill. Marriage Equality describes “a legal vacuum affecting children being raised in same-sex headed families”.

25 differences in relation to the legal relationship between a parent and their child are identified. For example, adoption: same-sex couples cannot jointly adopt, even though individuals may be considered for adoption regardless of sexual orientation.

Another example relates to guardianship and custody: it is not possible for same-sex couples (or a partner of a same-sex couple) to apply to the courts for these.

An additional example is maintenance: all children, including non-biological children, of married couples are covered by maintenance rules, but this is not the case for children raised by same-sex couples.

Marriage Equality states that there is a deliberate omission of existing provisions in family law which recognise non-biological children (for example, step-children) as dependent children, within married families.

The organisation supports the view of the Ombudsman for Children, who has drawn attention to the serious consequences for children that this approach will have and that this differential treatment of children under the Civil Partnership Act – especially when compared with the relationship between children and step-parents under Irish law – could violate international human rights instruments, to which the Ireland is party.

• Miscellaneous

The final section of the audit covered all remaining provisions identified in the review of existing legislation. 17 differences were found, and focus mainly on the age of majority and administrative provisions in relation to the making and keeping of records by the State.

On the age of majority, the report highlights that, as civil partnership is only available to people 18 years and over, the rights which flow to a person under the age of 18 and who is married, are not accessible to young LGBT people in the same situation (for instance, being able to apply for a passport in their own name without a guardian’s signature).

Also revealed is the fact that civil partners do not have the same rights under the Freedom of Information Act (FOI), a serious issue particularly following the death of a partner. For instance, a bereaved civil partner cannot apply under FOI to correct personal information, unlike spouses. (See also Office of the Information Commissioner.)

• Some notes:

- A “Constitutional Convention” is due to take place next year to look at various constitutional issues – including, perhaps, the concept of marriage?

- The Supreme Court has yet to rule in the Zappone and Gilligan case, due to be heard later this year.

- Marriage Equality is due to release a separate report on the Social Welfare Code and the differences between civil partners and married spouses next year. Due to the extensive legislation and rules which govern Social Welfare, a separate audit and report is needed.

- MarriagEquality: Website / Twitter / Facebook / YouTube

• Previously:

The Family Home and Finance

Immigration and Legal Procedures

Related posts:

1. Missing Pieces: The Family Home & Finance
2. Missing Pieces: Immigration & legal procedures
3. Civil Partnership: “An abdication of legislative responsibility”

Yesterday, we looked at the family home and finance. Today, we examine the issues of immigration and legal procedures.

• Immigration

A key factor in immigration procedures generally is the fact that decisions are made largely on a discretionary basis (i.e. under non-statutory administrative procedures by the Minister for Justice or his officials), rather than based on legislation. In effect, therefore, those in civil partnerships are reliant on discretion due to the absence of legislative immigration provisions relating to civil partnership.

The findings of the Marriage Equality report highlight the gap between official policy – that civil partners will be treated equally to spouses for immigration purposes – and the legislative reality, and reveals over 22 differences in treatment under immigration law and regulations.

Legislation: Only two sections in the Civil Partnership Act relate specifically to the immigration status or entitlements of civil partners:

The first concerns diplomatic immunity, and extends such immunity to civil partners.

The second provision relates to refugees. Under the Refugee Act, a person who is recognised as a refugee has the right to apply for family re-unification. The Civil Partnership Act allows such persons to make an application for family re-unification in relation to a civil partner.

(This is somewhat curious, I think: typically, family re-unification applications relate to family members who are not in Ireland. Ireland’s Civil Partnerships can only take place under Ireland’s jurisdiction, however. So how could it arise that a refugee in Ireland would have a civil partner abroad? Unless the person has entered Ireland for the purposes of the civil partnership ceremony and (maybe) has subsequently left? Or perhaps the couple has been married/partnered/unioned already in another jurisdiction and are seeking to have that recognised by the State as a civil partnership? Is that likely? But I digress..)

A person who does not meet the criteria of being a refugee, may nevertheless qualify for what is called subsidiary protection. (For instance, a person may not be persecuted for a particular reason, but may still be at risk if they return to a situation of armed conflict.) As with recognised refugees, a person who is eligible for subsidiary protection may apply for family re-unification, including their spouse. Notably, this right has not been extended to include civil partners.

So, if I’ve got this correct, this leaves us with the following situation regarding people who are entitled to international protection: heterosexuals can apply to have their spouse join them in Ireland if they are a refugee or have been granted subsidiary protection; homosexuals can apply to have their civil partner join them in Ireland if they are a refugee, but not if they have been granted subsidiary protection.

Lawyers, sharpen your quills!

Ministerial discretion: Apart from the issues of diplomatic immunity and recognised refugees, in all other immigration matters (including the above subsidiary protection issue), the equal treatment of civil partners depends on the exercise of discretion, rather than legislative entitlement.

A significant finding of the audit is the failure to include civil partners in the definition of ‘qualifying family members’ under EU free movement regulations. This may mean the Irish government is in breach of their obligations under this EU directive. (The EU directive is implemented into Irish law by regulations.)

Furthermore, in the event of divorce or annulment between a non-EU and EU citizen, under the same EU directive family members retain their right of residence. The regulations in Irish law are silent, however, when it comes to the dissolution of a civil partnership.

This potentially means that, an ex-civil partner of an Irish citizen is liable to deportation upon the dissolution of their registered civil partnership, and is reliant on discretionary immigration policy to ensure that is not the case.

As a result of the approach taken to deal with civil partnership immigration issues through the exercise of discretion, rather than by amending immigration legislation, the Marriage Equality report highlights that civil partners are left without the protection and certainty of the law.

• Legal procedures

The audit of legal procedures covered a broad range of legislation, including: the formation and dissolution of marital relationships; minimum age; recognition of foreign marriages; gender identity; and testimony during legal proceedings.

The audit uncovered 62 differences between the treatment of married and civil partner couples. Many of the differences have symbolic significance as well as legal and practical implications for same-sex couples who have registered a civil partnership.

Engagement: There is no equivalent legal status to engagement for civil partners. This means that provisions within the Family Law Acts governing disputes in relation to gifts and property of an engaged couple who end their relationship have not been extended to same-sex couples planning to register a civil partnership.

Minimum age: Someone under the age of 18 can marry where they acquire a waiver from the court. There is no provision under the Civil Partnership Act for a person under the age of 18 to acquire a court waiver to enter into a civil partnership.

Foreign marriages and civil partnership: Unlike marriage law, there is no provision allowing the courts to recognise foreign civil partnerships and same-sex marriages. Instead, that power is reserved for the Minister for Justice: the Civil Partnership Act allows the Minister to designate certain classes of relationships entered into abroad as having the same legal effects as an Irish civil partnership. There is no obligation on the Minister to recognise a class of foreign relationship, however; rather (and this is comparable with the situation regarding immigration and discretion), the Minister has a power to do so using statutory instruments (i.e. secondary legislation).

The effect is that if the Minister has not included a certain jurisdiction in the statutory instrument, then a couple seeking recognition of their foreign marriage/partnership/union from that jurisdiction will have to wait until (or, if) the Minister does include it at a later stage.

In any event, a foreign same-sex marriage will only be recognised as a civil partnership (as, for example, in Canada, Spain or the Netherlands, where there is full marriage equality).

Trans* rights: Currently in Ireland there is no legal mechanism to recognise a person’s preferred gender identity other than the gender that was recorded for them at birth.

The Gender Recognition Advisory Group (GRAG) – established to advise the government on gender recognition legislation for Ireland – has recently published its report and proposes establishing a scheme for legal recognition, however.

Disappointingly, their proposals include a recommendation that applicants who are married be excluded from the scheme. This means that an already married transgender person will be required to divorce their spouse before they can have their preferred gender legally recognised.

Likewise, any transgender person who is in a registered civil partnership will need to dissolve their civil partnership, if they wish to apply under the scheme.

Read more about the GRAG report here.

Interestingly, Marriage Equality notes, GRAG stated that registered civil partners acquire less protection from registering their partnership than spouses acquire from civil marriage: In outlining their argument to exclude a civil partner from the right to apply to be recognised in a different gender, it stated that “such a scenario would effectively result in a State-recognised opposite-sex relationship that does not benefit from the full protection afforded to marriage”.

Separation and dissolution: While married couples have the option of executing a separation agreement, obtaining a judicial separation, or obtaining a divorce, the Civil Partnership Act makes no provision for civil partners to apply to court for a judicial separation.

This means that, while civil partners can execute a deed of separation, if no agreement can be reached they have no choice but to apply for dissolution of their registered civil partnership.

In practice, separated opposite sex couples do not always opt for the finality of a divorce and prefer instead to legally separate. This may have to do with the economic dependency of one partner on the other or where children are involved, to avoid further distress or change for them.

Whatever the reason, judicial separation provides these couples with a mechanism to legally sort out the issues surrounding their separation; this is not available, however, to civil partners who wish to separate.

Period of separation: Civil partners must be living apart for 2 of the previous 3 years in order to apply to dissolve their partnership, whereas spouses must be living apart for 4 of the previous 5 years to apply for a divorce.

Marriage Equality’s report notes that while this is not equal treatment, it may be more sensible treatment and partly helps to make up for the lack of option to apply for a judicial separation in the Act. It reinforces, however, the greater importance afforded to marriage by the Irish State, with more onerous criteria to be met in order to dissolve a marriage when compared with a civil partnership.

Mediation requirement: To obtain a divorce there is a constitutional requirement for the married couple to consider mediation, and divorce legislation obliges solicitors to advise clients about what mediation services are available.

There is no such requirement in respect of civil partners who wish to dissolve their partnership and therefore no such obligation on solicitors, again demonstrating the greater importance afforded to marriage by the State.

In fact, when the Civil Partnership Bill was making its way through the Oireachtas, the then Minister for Justice, Dermot Ahern, justified this difference in treatment by reference to the risk of “upsetting the constitutional balance” and to “maintaining a distinction between marriage and civil partnership”; he did not elaborate on that, beyond referring to (though not specifying) advice received from the Attorney General. He stated that the government was “erring on the side of caution” by taking this approach.

Children: An example of the almost total lack of provisions relating to the children of civil partners emerged in this section under the laws governing dissolution. (Marriage Equality dealt with the overall issue of parents and children separately, however. See our next article on issues relating to parents and children.)

Criminal trials and the giving of evidence: Legislative provisions relating to the giving of evidence in a criminal trial highlight serious differences in treatment of the marital relationship versus civil partnerships.

A legal principle exists that spouses cannot be compelled to testify against one another. Two main justifications for this are: the principle of unity, i.e. the principle that for some purposes (although not all) husband and wife were considered as one by the law; and that there is a public interest in avoiding discord within the marital relationship – a recognition that testifying against one’s spouse, particularly if compelled to do so, would risk disharmony within the relationship.

These provisions have not been extended to civil partners, meaning that a civil partner may be compelled to give evidence against his or her partner, despite the potential problems this may create between the couple.

Next:

• Parent and Child, and Miscellaneous Provisions

Previously:

• The Family Home and Finance

Related posts:

1. Missing Pieces: Parent & child, other issues
2. Missing Pieces: The Family Home & Finance
3. Civil Partnership: “An abdication of legislative responsibility”

Chapters 2 and 3 of the Report looks at the issues of the family home and finance, respectively.

• The family home

At yesterday’s launch, Dr Judy Walsh of the UCD School of Social Justice noted that many of the aspects highlighted by the audit radiate from the failure to recognise families and the relationships between parents and children (including non-biological children).

The legal differences between civil partnership and marriage are spread a range of issues – from additional ‘red tape’, to a serious lack of protection and support for civil partners and their families at times of crisis.

In relation to the family home and the protections afforded to it under Irish family law, there were found to be 25 differences. One such difference is in the terminology used to describe the home of civil partners as a “shared home”, and not as a “family home” as with married spouses.

Significantly – and worryingly – children are omitted from the provisions relating to the “shared home”: under the Family Home Protection Act, the definition of a dependent child in the “family home” extends beyond biological or legally adopted children, and includes non-biological children, “where one [married] spouse has knowingly treated a child as a member of the family” – thus recognising the need for children in these circumstances to be protected.

Despite this existing broad definition, however, dependent children are omitted from such protection in the “shared home” provisions of the Civil Partnership Act, and therefore no protection is afforded to a child and the child’s home by these provisions.

Similarly, there is a lack of home protections for civil partners who are deserted – this could mean, for instance, that where a person in a civil partnership has been deserted by their partner, the latter may dispose of the “shared home” property in court; the law relating to a deserted spouse in the “family home”, by contrast, prevents the deserting spouse from so acting.

There are also a lack of provisions to include the hardship suffered by a spouse in the assessment of certain relief housing grants.

• Finance

A wide range of provisions fall under the umbrella term of finance, including taxation, employment, pensions, and other miscellaneous provisions which deal with financial matters, and a total of 18 differences were identified.

Importantly, this part of the audit included a review of more recent legislation, including the Finance Act (No. 3) 2011. This review found that, while the current government appears to be taking a more progressive approach to extending rights to registered civil partners and their children, Civil Partnership as a separate unequal institution, is of itself a structural barrier to achieving equality.

Taxation: The tax treatment regarding “separated” spouses includes those who are “separated but living under the same roof”, a provision which may be especially important in the current climate, where it may not be realistic or viable for the spouses to sell the property; no such treatment applies to a civil partners.

According to Marriage Equality’s report, tax legislation can only operate within the confines of general law, which means where the Civil Partnership Act does not achieve equivalence, tax changes are subject to these limitations also. This may explain the differences outlined in the report, and was the reason given by the Minister for Finance for rejecting proposed amendments to address these inequalities, prior to the Civil Partnership Bill’s enactment.

Therefore without equal access to civil marriage, the consequence for same-sex couples appears to be that civil partnership has created a structural barrier to achieving full equality, in the area of taxation.

It appears that in the areas of employment and pensions, however, equivalence in treatment for civil partners has been achieved when compared to spouses.

Other finance issues: The audit of the other miscellaneous provisions examined found six differences in treatment. Four of these differences are in relation to provisions regarding civil legal aid.

One of the provisions sets out a specific exemption for engaged or cohabiting opposite sex couples, which allows them to apply for legal aid in respect of a property dispute. This exemption has not been extended to same-sex couples, who are engaged, nor to same-sex couples who are cohabiting.

Again this difference highlights a structural inequality between civil partnership and civil marriage as, with no legal concept of engagement for civil partners, it is not possible to replicate this important exemption. The lack of equivalence for cohabiting same-sex couples seems to be based on the wording of the section of the Civil Legal Aid Act, which defines cohabitating, as two persons who are living together as man and wife.

NB! Social welfare: The Social Welfare code has significantly more legislative amendments and regulations enacted each year. This made the audit of this area particularly challenging and more time is needed to ensure that every regulation and act which remains in force has been examined.

Therefore this part of Marriage Equality’s audit is ongoing, and a separate report on the findings will be published in the early part of 2012.

Next:

• Immigration and legal procedures

• Parent and Child and Miscellaneous Provisions

Related posts:

1. Missing Pieces: Parent & child, other issues
2. Missing Pieces: Immigration & legal procedures
3. Civil Partnership: “An abdication of legislative responsibility”

Described as “an abdication of legislative responsibility”, the report rebuts claims that civil partnership provides same-sex couples with equality in all but name. The Foreword to the Report states neatly that “through civil partnership the Irish State has created a separate and unequal institution on many levels. Most profoundly the relationship between children and their gay and lesbian parents is not part of the civil partnership package”.

Separately, RTÉ reported last night that the Department of Foreign Affairs have no plans to alter passport application forms to reflect the growing number of same-sex couples parenting children. Such steps have recently been taken in the UK.

The Marriage Equality audit reveals that same-sex couples who register a civil partnership will be denied multiple rights which they would be entitled to if they could legally marry.

It found 169 differences in treatment covering rights and protections across a range of legislation including: family law, immigration, housing, court procedure, inheritance, taxation, freedom of information and other miscellaneous provisions which apply to married heterosexual couples, but not to same-sex couples who are registered civil partners.

Paula Fagan, the Report’s author, said, “Civil partnership was heralded as equality in all but name for same-sex couples but this report firmly and rightly contradicts these untrue claims. Civil partnership is a welcome first step to protect same-sex couples, but it fails to provide equality. Civil partnership dismally overlooks the love which same-sex couples have for one another, and most ashamedly, it neglects the bonds between same-sex parents and their children.”

The Marriage Equality report is the culmination of over a year’s work, comparing the rights gained through marriage to those conferred in civil partnership, and was carried out by a team of over thirty authoritative and respected legal experts in Ireland.

Carried out in two phases, the first phase of the audit involved identifying specific legislative provisions relating to married couples and their equivalent provisions, if any, in the Civil Partnership Act.

For the second phase, Marriage Equality sought the legal opinions of lawyers with specific expertise in the categories of law under review, and it is their legal opinions which form the basis of the analysis contained in the Report.

The audit does not include a review of other legal provisions which affect couples, including various constitutional rights and common law (judge-made case law or precedent) rules.

Ms Fagan continued, “The Report highlights include the fact that same-sex couples who register a civil partnership are not recognised or called a family unit; the children of a same-sex couples who have registered a civil partnership are in a legal vacuum; civil partners are not considered ‘qualifying family members’ for the purposes of immigration, and foreign same-sex marriages are demoted to civil partnerships. These are just some examples of the 169 differences that will adversely affect same-sex couples who have registered a civil partnership and their children.”

Moninne Griffith, Director of Marriage Equality, said “The Programme for Government includes a promise to consider the ‘Provision of Same-Sex Marriage’. Marriage Equality believes that this must be acted upon immediately. Missing Pieces clearly and unequivocally demonstrates inequalities manifest in civil partnership. Combined with the visual aspects of the Marriage Equality billboard campaign and the online film Rory’s Story, we hope people living in Ireland will insist that the only sensible next step is to lift the same-sex marriage ban now rather than later.”

A recent Irish opinion poll contributed to the growing evidence of support for same-sex couples marrying, with 73% of Irish people in favour. Marriage Equality is committed to working with the public and government to lift the same-sex marriage ban.

As part of Just Love, to highlight discrimination that same-sex couples experience as a result of the differences between civil partnership in comparison to civil marriage, a first of its kind 48-sheet campaign is being rolled out across Dublin today. The posters depict real couples, their children, and along with Missing Pieces and a viral film, Rory’s Story, all part of Just Love, are available to download from www.marriagequality.ie

• More information on Just Love? and other Marriage Equality campaigns can be downloaded from www.marriagequality.ie or by calling (01) 8734183.

• MarriagEquality: Website / Twitter / Facebook / YouTube

• Check back here at Gaelick.com for our articles looking in more detail at the differences identified in the Missing Pieces report.

Related posts:

1. Missing Pieces: Parent & child, other issues
2. Missing Pieces: The Family Home & Finance
3. Missing Pieces: Immigration & legal procedures

Well, it turns out that in England, the Anglican church requires celibacy from it’s reverends who are in civil unions.  Although the Church of Ireland is yet to make a call on this, it might explain why he is describing the union in such legal terms.  Speaking about any negativity he may have encountered from within the church he says

I have not had anything here.  Quite the opposite – I have had very warm support right across the board

Well it seems that may have now taken a turn.  A leading evangelical layman has said that he can see the Civil Partnership of a reverend causing a split in the church.  Dermot O’Callaghan has said

This (partnership) has come in without discussion.  The Church of England tried to grapple with the issue of Civil Partnerships in a way that the Church of Ireland has never got around to doing

Baring in mind that Reverend Gordon has stated that the bishop of his diocese, Bishop Michael Burrows, knew both of his relationship and of his plans to Partner, well in advance of the ceremony, Mr O’Callaghan’s remarks seem out of order.  Speaking specifically about the North/South divide he says

Significantly there is a difference between north and south…This is a very painful and risky aspect of it.  It is evident from what Tom Gordon has said that not only his bishop but the people in his area support him fully… In the north there would be a much greater sense of unwillingness to support that kind of step.  I would be concerned in case we get a polarising in the Church of Ireland between north and south

So is Mr O’Callaghan just using the tensions between North and South to gain sympathy for his view or does he have a point?  For me he is just disguising his homophobia.  I find his stance slightly off topic so to speak.

Church of Ireland primate, Archbishop Alan Harper, has also gotten in on the act echoing that it could cause a rift in the church.  Archbishop Harper believes that Civil Partnerships have “not been a major issue” in the South compared to the North.  He says

Differences of opinion already exist. This has sharpened the debate, focused it more narrowly and it does have the capacity to be a source of significant division

When I first read about the Union I thought, great, good for you.  Then I read Rev Gordon’s comments that it is not a ‘marriage’ but a legal contract and I thought, that’s not terribly romantic is it?  Rev Gordon has Civilly Partnered a man he has been with for two decades, why not just say it is what it is, a romantic union of two people who love each other?  I tell myself that perhaps he is just talking the talk.  The fact the church may well expect celibacy from people in Unions is very odd too, I mean come on, they aren’t mates, they’re partners.  Furthermore, Mr O’Callaghan seems to be going way off script in his efforts to be homophobic without seeming to be so and Archbishop Harper seems to agree, at least in part.

What do you think on this issue?  Archbishop Harper has said that Partnerships are “civil right enshrined in law” and has agreed that the church can’t influence that.  However, Rev Gordon is a member of the Anglican church, and as such, must follow their rules.  So did he get Partnered before he could be stopped?  If so, you have to applaud him.  However, what he has said since isn’t exactly flying the flag for marriage equality.

With a minister at a Scottish church announcing plans for a Civil Partnership, it seems the debate will continue.

Related posts:

1. Teachers and civil partnership or marriage
2. Civil Partnership seminar in Wicklow (25th Nov)
3. Civil Partnership Photography want you!

I remember when I was in college, I told one of my mates that there was no way I’d ever get married. I even placed a wager. I was cheating, I knew I was gay and she didn’t. Now, though, I owe her £20. Yes punts, it was a while ago. I’ve never been so happy to lose a bet.

I know some people are reading this and thinking “but you’re not getting married, it’s a civil partnership”. And my pithy response? “Arse!” I don’t care what the government thinks, I don’t care what the hard-line religious or passionately political think, I care about the people I love. I’ve been with my wife (squee) for 12 years, we’ve helped raise a fabulous child, we’ve had fun and we’ve been through hell; and we’ve always done it together. We’re a great team, when one is weak the other is strong. Ok, I’m sounding like a Westlife song now.

It would be easy to get caught up in the social and political importance of civil marriage, what it means and what it should mean. All I know is that no matter how much the government wants to make me a second-class citizen, today I feel like I rule the world.

Related posts:

1. Making some NOISE
2. LGBT Noise – March for Marriage 2011

As someone who is getting married next week, I know that civil partnership is a profound and exciting choice for all of us in the LGBT community, but it’s not full civil marriage.

All of the love, loyalty and happiness is there but, for some reason, the government doesn’t see that. For some reason, the government thinks that my relationship is less than equal. Yesterday, over 4,000 people marched to show just how wrong this is.

It wasn’t just people in the LGBT community who marched, but our family and friends, all of whom can see the that, in the words of LGBT Noise “halfway isn’t home”. Even though we have the right to a civil partnership, we can’t get married.

Well, I’m sorry, government, I’ve been with my partner for 12 years and it’s about time I got to call her my wife.

Related posts:

1. LGBT Noise – March for Marriage 2011
2. Ministry of Protest
3. LGBT Noise Table Quiz Dec 1st

The more people who march, the stronger and louder the message will be to the government as, let’s be honest, all they care about are votes. Well, we vote. And so do your friends and family. So bring as many people as you can.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9Gj9infrqM

The March will begin at 3pm by city hall at the top of Parliament Street.

If you’re wondering about what to wear on the day Reads Print, Design & Photocopying Bureau have been kind enough to offer all equality supporters a special offer on t-shirt printing for the March for Marriage 2011. The logo on the t-shirt will be the logo that appeared on buses recently.

Read More on LGBT Noise’s Website

Related posts:

1. LGBT Noise March for Marriage held in Dublin
2. LGBT Noise Table Quiz Dec 1st
3. Making some NOISE

On November 23rd 2009, I got married. It was the most serious decision I’ve ever made; it wasn’t something I took lightly or viewed frivolously. We thought about it for a long while, about how it would impact us, our family, our future. About what it would mean.

I don’t believe that you need to be married to be committed to someone else. Maybe you think you’ll try harder to keep things together if you’re married. Maybe you try because it’s what you want, marriage or no marriage. I don’t think that rings and certificates mean you’ll be together forever simply because you have them. I think you’ll be together forever because it’s what you want.

My parents have been married over 30 years. All my friends’ parents have been married close to or longer than that. All I’ve know are marriages that keep going. Even when they’re hard; maybe especially when they’re hard.

I didn’t get married thinking “Oh I can just get a divorce if this doesn’t work out”. That’s. . . look, I don’t believe in two people fighting a losing battle, if it’s not going to work, it’s not going to work. But you shouldn’t go into it thinking its OK to make a mess of it because there’s a safety net. That net is for emergencies. Don’t just jump off because you’re bored or couldn’t be bothered. Don’t get married if you’re not bothered. Or if you’re bored. Do something else if you’re bored. I hear bowling is pretty fun.

The point being; it’s a commitment. It’s a vow, which is like a pinky promise on steroids: it’s serious. And you have to mean it. If you don’t then you make it mean less. You cheapen it.

But only for yourself.

Because if the girl next door gets hitched to some dude she just met and they part ways because they weren’t going to the same country let alone in the same direction, then that’s their business. It’s not mine. And it doesn’t make my commitment any smaller or insignificant.

All of this is round about and swinging into; I’m a woman that married a woman. Straight people, please hear me when I shout:

• Up until you read that sentence, your marriage has been totally and utterly fine and unaffected by mine. And I’m putting money on the fact that after that sentence, it’s still totally and utterly fine and unaffected by mine.
• I don’t love my wife less then you love yours. Or your husband.
• Your love is not better than mine. My love is not better than yours. They’re different. But they’re equal.
• The vows I took were the same as the vows you took and I meant them as much as you did.
• Marriage isn’t about making babies. If it is then everyone that’s past their baby-making years needs to head on down to the divorce courts because your marriage is hearby defunct.
• Marriage still isn’t about having babies. All you lovely people who’ve chosen not to have any – divorce courts, you should be headed there.
• Same for you couples who can’t have babies. Divorce. There’s no point to your marriage. I don’t want to hear about how much you love each other, clearly that’s irrelevant.

I have great reservations about the phrase “gay marriage”. I didn’t get gay married. The forms didn’t have Gay Marriage Certificate Application on them. The judge didn’t sign a Lesbian Wait Period Waiver us. I think when you say “gay marriage” it says that being gay and married is different from being straight and married. I don’t buy that.

My wife and I grumble about whose turn it is to take the trash out, and we barter for who’s washing up versus who’s making the next meal. We budget and grocery shop and play Scrabble (I never said our life was a rollercoaster of excitement!). We take care of each other when we’re sick; which we can all agree is a chore (personally, I am the laziest sack of bones when I’m sick. I wouldn’t put up with me. My wife does, but that’s why she’s the nice one.). We get through the awful stuff that just. . . life throws at you. But we go through the good stuff too, that part where you’re sharing a life with someone and you know you’re becoming a better person because of it. That part’s pretty awesome.

I don’t do things “gay”. The fact that I have a wife is the gayest thing about me. Well. . . OK. That and the comfortable shoes and the softball team. That’s about as stereotypically lesbian as I get.

Saying that I have a gay marriage just seems ridiculous to me. I have a marriage. Not everything I do in my life is dictated by gayness. I don’t get gay dressed (apart from the shoes as we’ve established). I don’t have gay lunch (I barely get time to get away from my desk to eat let alone figure out how I’m supposed to eat my chicken with added lesbianism). I don’t gay read books (can you gay read? is that I thing I don’t know about? I don’t make it to the Gay Meetings so I’m behind on our Gay Current Affairs.)

Don’t hit me with the God argument. I don’t believe in God, as is my choice as a human. And even if I did, I wouldn’t be down with a God that’s about exclusion. My parents believe in God, my in-laws believe in God. My sisters believe in God. They love me. They don’t judge me. They don’t believe I’m going to hell or that I’m a miscreant or depraved. They don’t believe I’ll be punished for being who I am.

I can’t change that I’m gay. I can’t change that I freckle like the absolute Irish woman I am if I’m in the sun. I can’t change that my left foot is slightly bigger than my right foot, which is always annoying when I’m buying shoes. I can’t change this part of me. And have you met my wife? Why would I ever want to change the part of me that loves her? She’s awesome!

I guess all of this is my way of trying to say, stop it. Just. . . stop it. Be fair.

Related posts:

1. New Anti-Marriage Equality Argument in Canadian Court
2. 14 year old girl asks Maryland to vote “No” on marriage equality for her birthday
3. Marriage: The Gold Standard?

We arrived in what has to be one of Dublin’s ugliest buildings (right) and were greeted by a friendly security man who asked if we were there for the Civil Partnership and jovially told us where to wait.

As we waited outside the appropriate office, we could hear a male gay couple getting themselves sorted out. In we went and were dealt with by the lovely Julie. She was amiable, warm and took us through the whole thing. She even had a small go at the fact that we should have full marriage rights.

The whole experience was perfect. I know that we should expect to be treated well, but you know yourself, you always have to worry about possible homophobia when it comes to bureaucracy.

The experience made the pair of us excited all over again.

You may have read in my last post, that I’ve been looking at cakes and their ridiculous prices. Well, I decided to pop into a Polish bakery here in Dublin. See, I love ginger cake and no one does ginger like the Poles.

I went into the one on Capel St (left) and the lovely lady with the scary nails will do exactly what I want for €110. That is less than half the cost of other places. I think it’s called Party Cake, or is it Golden Cookies? I think it used to be Party Cake as in the piccie, but I could have sworn it was called Golden Cookies. Better check that out. But it shows that it pays to go local. I’m chuffed.

In my last post you may also have read about our unholy cock-up with the invitations. Well I now believe that they are cursed.

First – we had no date on them

Next – we had the wrong address for the Registry Office

Next – the printers had one side up-side-down

The printers, in fairness, noticed and sorted it out with no extra charge. We had been going through VistaPrint online, but went into Reads of Nassau Street in the end.

I had visions of myself in college, the place choca with students and stifling hot. But when we went in, I was again surprised. The service was top-notch, the staff friendly and cheerful and it was cheaper.

Reads and the Polish bakery are making me think “feck the internet” and I’ll go looking for other stuff closer to home.

All in all, excellent service from people who couldn’t give a toss that it’s a woman I’m marrying. Has Ireland finally grown up?

Related posts:

1. Top lady
2. Let them eat cake
3. You’re the tops

I also take my figurative Philip Tracey design off to them for allowing themselves to be splayed across the Irish Times paper and website.It’s tough to put yourself out there for no good reason other than it’s the right thing to do.

I don’t in any way want to demean they relationship by making them into a PR specimen, but we need straights to see that we can stay together for more than a jiggle in the loos in the George. Especially men.

The stereotype is still rife that all we are after is sexual gratification, but heroes like Barry and Hugh show the world that we are, in no uncertain terms, just like everyone else.

It’s just a pity we don’t get the same rights as everyone else.

Related posts:

1. Your partner or your mates
2. Making some NOISE

The first two things on the list are; Invite people to whole thing and Invite people to afters. No problem. We’re doing this as cheaply as we can. OK not “cheaply” as is shoddy, but as little to spend as possible so that we can spend all our money on the honeymoon. Priorities! The future sister-in-law is a design student so she came up with a design which is brilliant (thank god) and off we hopped online to see about getting them printed.

There are a few places you can use; VistaPrint, XposePrint and ProntaPrint are just a few. We went for VistaPrint and went through the process of uploading the images (front and back) and typing in all the details. We decided to print 30 to start and see how we went. It cost around €50; none to shabby. Until they arrived and my partner said “do you see anything wrong here?”. I looked and looked and thought they were fine. Then she pointed it out. We had no date on them. Eejits! Fifty quid up the swanney. It turned out to be a good thing though (or so we’re trying to convince ourselves) as we had opted for a mat-finish and it looks cheap so we’re now going for glossy. This time with the date on. My advice: proof, proof and proof again.

On the positive side, I got my outfit! Woohoo! I decided on the casual, comfy (hello I’m a dyke) look and got a linen top and white tailored trousers. Delighted with myself I am. Now I’m thinking shoes and feck it, let’s go all out and get some white skater shoes or false Converse (as the real one are made in sweat shops). Fabulous! Thank you so much for your advice ladies.

Next thing on the list is the cake. I like cake. A lot. So, I thought to myself, “self, let’s go mad”. I was thinking of three tiers of different flavours; the bottom one chocolate coz who doesn’t love chocolate, middle one ginger cake as it’s my fave and the top one Madeira as it’s the only sweet thing the missus likes (except me of course). I went looking online and *gasp* the prices!!! Man, I sound like a scabby ould yoke but, come on, they start at €350. Seriously. It’s just not worth that to us. So I’ve been looking around and they’re all crazy prices. Marks and Spencer do them for from anything between €15 and €200, so I might look there. They’re a bit boring though…..hmmm….how much is “not boring” worth to us? These are the tough decisions people. Any ideas?

The thing is that, from my experience organising this wedding, people stop making these decisions and turn into someone from Countdown. “I’ll have one of those please, and one of those and, yes, one of those”, without thinking whether they want it or not. They just think “cake” and point, “dress” and point, “effing chair covers” and point. Trust me, if you think first you can save a fortune. Personally, I’d prefer to spend €350 on upgrading my honeymoon hotel than on a cake, but then maybe that’s just me.

Related posts:

1. Zombie CaKe
2. Great form
3. Top lady

Would you look at that gorgeous pair

Reproduced with permission from and thanks to the Irish Times

Civil partnership is available to all from next month, and couples, photographers and wedding planners are busy preparing celebrations, writes FIONOLA MEREDITH

AS FAR as most couples planning a same-sex civil partnership are concerned, it’s a wedding in all but name – as much about romance as it is about rights. “Yes, we call it a wedding. We say we’re getting married. For us, it’s a chance to call each other ‘wife’,” says Rachel Armstrong. Since the law changed on January 1st, 2011, allowing same-sex partnerships to take place, Rachel and her partner Shelley Farrell, both 37 and living in Dublin, have been planning a special ceremony – 11 years to the day since their first commitment ceremony.

“We’ve been together for 12 years, and after one year we had our own ceremony. I never thought in my wildest dreams that we’d have the chance to do it officially in Ireland in our lifetimes. But we always thought – if it happens, then we will. It’s like renewing our vows.”

Both Armstrong and Farrell acknowledge that for many lesbian and gay people, the legislation doesn’t go far enough. For example, while civil partnerships share many of the responsibilities and rights of marriage, when it comes to children, parental rights do not extend to the non-biological parent.

“The legislation is a stepping stone, we know that,” says Farrell. “But let’s just take what we’ve got at the moment. Quite a few of our friends want to wait until we have full rights, but they didn’t make us feel anything less for going ahead. Everyone should take the opportunity to celebrate their relationship, whether they’re gay, straight or in-between.” Since three months notice is required for couples registering for a civil union, the first ceremonies are expected in early April.

Poignantly, however, two couples’ ceremonies have already taken place; it’s understood that at least one partner in each couple is seriously ill, and since there was a risk that they would die before the three-month period elapsed, they received special dispensation to go ahead with the ceremonies.

Armstrong and Farrell’s big day is planned for the August 26th, the anniversary of their first declaration of love and commitment to each other. They will do the formalities at Lombard Street registry office, then it’s off to a reception for family and friends at the Schoolhouse Hotel in Ballsbridge. Armstrong says at first, they were thinking of keeping the whole thing small and simple: after all, they did “the flowers, the big cake, the fab party, the works” last time around. But they’ve decided to make it a big celebration for a second time.

“Life’s too short not to,” says Armstrong. “And besides, I grew up in a straight world, and I have the same dreams. So Dad will give me away – again. And it will all be quite traditional: dinner, embarrassing speeches, champagne.”

The couple has engaged the string quartet Appassionata, to arrange a song for the couple – but it won’t all be tasteful Bach, Vivaldi or Handel. Farrell says that she has asked for Abba’s I do, I do, I do to be part of the proceedings, and she’s both surprised and delighted that Armstrong has agreed. In return, Farrell, who’s not a big fan of flying, has agreed to go to the United States for their honeymoon.

As for the outfits, they agree neither is a natural dress wearer, but Farrell has decided to go for the traditional white wedding gown, while Armstrong is still deliberating. “We’re both that little bit older now, so we’re more relaxed about it all, and we’re really enjoying it,” says Armstrong. “From booking the venue to arranging the registration, everything is another excuse to open a bottle of Prosecco!”

HAVING ENTERED INTO a civil union last August in Northern Ireland, Glenn Cunningham-Vilar (43) and Adriano Cunningham-Vilar (29) – the first same-sex couple to be recognised as civil partners under Irish law – are well-qualified to offer some advice to couples contemplating a ceremony.

“It really was the best day we ever had,” says Glenn. “But there were some negatives. For instance, we spent the night before together, because we love each other and we didn’t want to be apart. But we ended up stressing each other out. So I’d suggest not doing that. If we were to do it again, I’d spend it miles apart.”

More seriously, Glenn says he recommends a civil union to “anyone who’s committed and in it for the long haul. Marriage is much more than a ring on your finger – it gives a feeling of security, of moving into the future together. It’s helped us to evolve. I liken it to the difference between renting a house and buying a property. If you’re renting, you don’t care if there’s a crack in the wall. But if you own the house, you sort the problem out immediately. It’s all about looking after the relationship.”

Glenn and Adriano (known to his friends as Vilar) also suggest that couples personalise the ceremony.

“If you don’t add anything, it’s all over in five minutes. You should plan to add three pieces of music, and perhaps some non-religious readings or poems. Of course, you can also write your own vows if you wish. We finished each vow with the question to each other: ‘do you want this too?’ It was important to us that we could say the symbolic ‘I do’.”

The couple also made sure Glenn’s six-year-old daughter Molly was involved. “She was a flower girl, and when we were exchanging our rings, the best man put a sparkly ring on her finger too.”

WITH THE PREPARATIONS for civil partnership ceremonies well under way, it’s not surprising that the wedding industry has rushed to accommodate the needs of same-sex couples – some more imaginatively than others. Dublin jeweller Carol Clarke has long been making and selling customised rings to same-sex couples planning a commitment ceremony. Now that the law has changed, she’s noticed a big increase in inquiries for her creations, which include rings with interlocking gender symbols and Celtic love knots.

Meanwhile, photographer Shawna Scott is offering free photography services to gay and lesbian couples planning a ceremony; she aims to use the images from her Big Gay Wedding Project in a travelling exhibition, with all proceeds going to the Marriage Equality Campaign.

Many wedding venues have started to advertise their suitability for civil partnership ceremonies too. Springfield Hotel in Leixlip, the D Hotel in Drogheda and Ballinacurra House in Kinsale are among several establishments to have taken out targeted advertisements in the gay press.

Des McGahan of Ballinacurra House says the privacy, style and exclusivity of his property – it’s located on a 40-acre estate, and was for a while the late Michael Jackson’s Irish bolthole – affords couples “a wonderful platform for celebrating the long-awaited granting of their rights”.

Gay or straight, nuptials are notoriously costly, and Dave Farrelly, director of Heart 2 Heart wedding co-ordinators, which offers a specialised service for couples planning a civil partnership ceremony, urges caution, advising couples not to get too carried away: “You may want the wedding of your dreams, but don’t overspend.”

Belfast-based Anthony Miller – one half of wedding planners Ant and Dick – organised some of the first civil partnership ceremonies in London. He says that there are three first steps that every couple should take: decide on the date, confirm the venue and set the budget.

It all sounds very sensible, but Miller says that while most same-sex ceremonies have all the elements of a straight wedding, “the ones I have been involved with are that bit madder. There have been some eccentricity involved, and there’s a lot of fun to be had with them.”

Lynne Hyland, of Daisy Flower Creations – who is planning her own civil partnership with her girlfriend next year – thinks that some gay men may well want to “go all out” and have a real extravaganza, while female couples may prefer something a little more understated.

One last detail of their big day has got Rachel Armstrong and Shelley Farrell perplexed. They are on a hunt for tasteful same-sex cake toppers – the little figurines that sit on the top of the wedding cake – but so far their search has been fruitless. One friend suggested buying two sets of straight cake toppers and breaking off the grooms, but the couple aren’t keen on that option.

It seems there’s at least one gap in the burgeoning same-sex wedding market that’s crying out to be filled.

Related posts:

1. Civil Partnership seminar in Wicklow (25th Nov)
2. Review: The Wedding Song
3. What a Corker