Charley talks conversion

If there’s one thing that I never tire of seeing articles about, it’s the idea that being homosexual is something that an individual can be ‘cured’ of; in fact, one of my first articles for this very website was a shocking piece delving into ‘treatment’ practices in other countries.

Something rather interesting that has popped up on the internet recently, relating to this very topic, is a statement made by American citizen, John Paulk, who, after being a poster boy for ‘conversion therapy’, has finally admitted that the treatment that he told the world had worked, actually hadn’t made a difference at all to his sexuality.

Paulk became the face of the campaign, which was launched back in the 1990s, branding himself as an ‘ex-gay’, as if there is such a thing.

Ex ex-gay, John Paulk

After turning back to being straight, Paulk then married his now ex-wife Ann, who had also undergone this conversion therapy. With both members of the marriage successfully ‘cured’ of their homosexuality, they proceeded to advertise and support the campaign and even wrote books about their experience, entitled Love Won Out and Not Afraid to Change: The Remarkable Story of How One Man Overcame Homosexuality.

Coming out again

Paulk, who is now 50, has decided that living a lie is no longer for him and has completely cut ties with both the campaign and his wife, who is still entirely devoted to the movement. Alongside bravely coming out the closet, for a second time, Paulk is also discouraging people from buying the aforementioned books as he no longer wishes to be affiliated with the ‘ex-gay’ movement that seems to be sweeping through so many countries.

It has always been a strong belief of mine that in using therapy to try and manipulate someone’s sexuality, you are simply asking for trouble. It’s a dangerous and damaging process and personally, I can’t help but feel that trying to stop someone from being gay is likely to do much more damage to them mentally, than ‘allowing’ them to be gay ever will. My thoughts, that I will stand by in all future articles relating to this topic, are also reinforced by Paulk himself who has remarked how damaging the therapy was, claiming that, “It does great harm to many people.”

On behalf of Gaelick, and everyone else who has found themselves subject to such heinous procedures and suggestions, I would like to congratulate John Paulk on this outstanding act of bravery… coming out was bad enough the first time, let alone having to do it twice!

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Here’s Gaelick contributor Niamh

For me the hardest thing about coming out is that it feels like a never-ending process. Getting asked the same questions and hearing the same comments over and over again.Your life is almost divided into sections, friends, work, family, Facebook, and when you’re on a sports team, soccer, camogie, rugby whatever that’s another section. You would think coming out to a a group of women who are into sport would be the easiest section to handle. As Megan Rapinoe said when she came out this year “In female sports, if you’re gay, most likely your team knows it pretty quickly, it’s very open and widely supported.” Now maybe it’s an Irish thing, or a GAA thing, but I haven’t always found this to be the case.

Megan Rapinoe is awesome

Tomboy stereotype

We all know the stereotype, the tomboy out playing with the boys in the park, and as you get older it becomes the beer-drinking lesbian who’s great for sitting down with the lads talking about the latest premiership match. Nothing wrong with that, in fact, I embody that stereotype and I’m proud of it! The problem with that stereotype is that some girls who play sport are afraid of people wrongly thinking they are a lesbian. This fear then manifests itself into a bitchy form of homophobia. Some comments can be made when people don’t realise they are talking to the ‘enemy’ and hearing these comments can prevent you from feeling comfortable about coming out to your teammates.

When you are playing at a competitive level it is so important to feel completely comfortable in order to perform at your best, what is even more important, on a team sport, is that you feel like you can trust your teammates. You have to be in a positive frame of mind to perform and to train at 100%. If you’re worried about people having a negative response to your sexuality, that just adds more pressure and takes your mind of your performance.

Go team!

PMA

Putting a bunch of twenty people together and forcing them to compete with and against one another is an extremely difficult task and you can guarantee that things will never run smoothly all the time, but honesty between teammates should always have a positive effect on relationships. And positive relationships leads to positive results (sounds like I robbed that from Dr. Phil!).

When Donal Og Cusack came out he said his teammates were of great support to him. When you grow up with a bunch of girls or you’re playing with a team for number of years, they become like your family, and often our family is the section we leave to last when coming out, the fear of losing them is too great.

But if you are the first person to come out on the team then you might even be a role model for younger players, and you most likely will change the attitudes of others who didn’t know any better before. And you know stereotypes exist for a reason so chances are very high there’s another gay girl in the dressing room as well!

Related posts:

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2. Coming out
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There is little point in trying to deny that parts of the queer community are rife with biphobia. I dealt with it a lot with Ms Gay Limerick and even more with Ms Gay Ireland. For the year and a half I have been out, I am very careful what I say to certain people. Sometimes it feels like the more political and vocal I get about bisexual identity, the more backlash I seem to get.

 

Preach!

 

Bye-bye biphobia

Finally, there came a point when I realised that I was acting like I was still in the closet. In the same way I used to hide that I loved the ladies, I was now ashamed of not being gay enough. I did, after all, have a title to live up to.

 

Open your mind

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I’m sitting in front of a dying fire as I write, there is rain lashing against the window and it’s really too cold in this damp house to sit anywhere else. Nevermind, I’m only here overnight, a short stop on the way to Wales where I’ll spend Christmas week with my extended family. Family Christmas is one of those things that can strike love, frustration, excitement or outright fear into our hearts. It depends on your relationship to your family, but for most of us there is probably a combination of all of the above.

I miss my girlfriend

Driving home for Christmas

This is all the more true if you’re queer, which you probably are if you’re reading this blog. For us there is an extra melody running through the cacophony of a family Christmas, even if it’s audible to nobody else but you. Just as I am in transit tonight I’m aware of many of my friends making similar journeys over the weekend. Some people are travelling to houses where they will fit in seamlessly, their identity no more remarkable than any other member of the family.

A few are journeying to a week of cringing quietly and trying to be understanding as well meaning relatives blunder through a new vocabularly, leaving shards of identity, politics, respect and privacy smashed on the floor all around them.  Others are travelling to days of tension, always worrying what the next sentence will lead to. If ‘it’ will come up. And then some of you are achieving a most remarkable feat, some of you are travelling back in time. Each mile (it’s kilometres these days isn’t it?) travelled chronologically as well as geographically. Names, pronouns, identities and assumptions that are thoroughly eradicated in the day to day lives of many people I know are being dragged out of the attic and dusted off for the holiday, along with ancient stockings and carefully hoarded decorations which you made in fourth class.

I'm GAY!!!!!

Rocking around the Christmas tree

I actually came out to the people I spend Christmas with around this time a few years ago, something which I consider to be incredibly foolhardy in hindsight. I hadn’t planned that way, I just ran out of the discipline and self-restraint to leave it unspoken any longer. I am incredibly fortunate that they took it in their stride, and I’m acutely aware that for many people it could never be that painless. If I could bottle the ease with which my family got over it and share it around, believe me I would.

Do I look gay in this?

There is no advice to give, no good timing or perfect wording. There is only the way it happens for you and the time it takes for it to seep through to the hearts of those you love, and yes, that can be forever.

Do they know?

Many, many years ago, when my identity was such a tightly guarded secret that I barely let myself know, I overheard a woman discussing a colleague who was gay and not out at home. Her comment, which I think I will remember forever, kept me frozen at the cafe table for about half an hour, incapable of deciding whether to laugh or cry -

“How could they not know? He’s gay as Christmas!”

It was the end of November, another wet and windy night, four years before I would dream of introducing myself to my own family.

I wanted to write to those of you travelling with trepidation this weekend, though I know there isn’t much I can say. I hope you get by, and that you find something you can enjoy or that at least keeps you sane. If you find your mind is starting to fray do reach out to someone, be it a friend, pet, relative or support service. Though I wouldn’t judge you if you can’t, I hope you can find ways to forgive yourself  and the people around you. Hang on to who you are and, whether you believe any of it or not, remember that the story of Christmas is all about travelling home and not finding any place to fit.

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Sunday, the 23rd of September was bi visibility day. Did you know? I found out a couple of days beforehand, promptly forgot all about it. Anyway, I spent most of the day on the sofa in a self-indulgent mound of Lemsip and tissues, only getting up to change the Game of Thrones DVD and put the kettle on. Even writing a tweet was beyond my manflu-addled brain.

Bye bi perfection

Bi visibility is always an odd one. We’re constantly on about being erased, and we’re hyper-critical of anyone who is openly bi. We expect perfect behaviour from our role models. Can’t be too stereotypical. Can’t be seen to be sleeping around too much. If they dare be in a monogamous, long-term relationship, they lose either way. Either they’re taking the easy way out from within nice safe het boundaries, or they’re letting the gay side down.

Remember when Cynthia Nixon dared to say that she’d chosen a same-sex relationship although she was quite partial to men? You’d think she’d said that she was partial to a spot of puppy-torturing over a cup of tea. Which is nothing in comparison to when a bi person goes and marries someone of the opposite sex. Puppy-torturing isn’t the half of it. And god forbid an openly bi person be single and sleeping around, and doing so in a way that isn’t a hundred percent ethical and keeping everybody absolutely happy at all times. Wanton hussies, letting the side down. Who’d want to share a category with someone like that?

Image from sodahead.com

Being me

So when it comes to visibility, it’s always a bit in bits. I’ve even had partners – straight and gay alike – wonder why on earth it’s such a big deal to me, and isn’t it fine for everyone to think we’re just a regular straight/lesbian couple? Sure, what’s wrong with being straight or being gay?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with either of those things. Straight people and gay people are great. Sure aren’t my own parents straight, and some of my very best friends are gay. Even Herself is a bit of an unrepentant gaywad*, and sure amn’t I mad about her?

They’re just not me. And there’s something about people constantly assuming that you’re a perfectly lovely thing that isn’t you that grates a bit. Especially when the ideas of what you are can sometimes be a bit on the dodgy side.

I’ve always found coming out as bi to be a minefield. I’m as guilty as anyone else of letting people assume that I’m just one way or the other, depending on what pronouns I’m using for whoever I’m seeing at the time**. It’s just so much easier. You don’t have to explain things. And y’know, there really does come a time in a person’s life when she just wants to get on with it. When you’re just so damn over it, when you have better things to do than justify who you are yet again.

But visibility is important. Visibility is the only way to make us as ordinary as we are. So for bi visibility day, I sat on the couch with a friend as we both sniffled our way through a packet of Kleenex, kept Lemsip in business, wrapped our duvets around us and watched half a season of Game of Thrones. What could be more ordinary than that?

* and that is a glorious, glorious thing. Me, I’m just an unrepentant queermo.
** Don’t get me started on poly complications. I’m still a bit delicate from the man-flu and I’m almost out of Lemsip.

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2. Julie Bindel
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Our writer’s new, she’s the Irish K-Stew, and she has this for you!

My very public coming out came in the form of a sparkly tiara and a sash that read Ms Gay Limerick.

I had come out as bisexual a year previously but now I was out: pictures-in-the-paper-even-my-nana-knows out. It also didn’t help that my extended family was seriously confused by the fact that I was neither straight (as they had always thought) nor gay (as I insisted I wasn’t, but the local media maintained I was). That, however, is a story for another post..!

At the end of the day, it was a relatively lovely outing. It was done with my permission, I was being commended by the local scene; there were a few awkward moments, but my family had reacted well – and there were diamantes involved! What more could a girl ask for?

Image: knitschtick.com

Unfortunately not all forays into the queer community are as bejeweled and appreciated. There is still the unfair thrusting of individuals into the limelight when they were just getting comfortable with poking a toe out of the closet. Things happen. And when they do, sometimes it seems the only option left is to wrap yourself up warm in your Spice Girls duvet, inhale the Ben and Jerry’s, and pray for the world to forget about you.

If you want to take the more practical option to dealing with this upheaval, here are my steps for survival.

Step 1: Be honest. Fact check. And own it.

People know you’re queer now. Whether you like it or not, if you’ve been publicly outed, you’re past the point of no return. Go to your parents/grandparents/friends, sit down with a cup of tea and explain the whole mess. Tell them the truth. Maybe they had suspected your love for the ladies for a while now. Maybe they’ll faint in shock.

I also found it really important to get my facts right in the beginning. As a bisexual woman, I was met with a lot of curious and unpleasant (for me) questions. “Are you fully gay so?” “But I thought you had a boyfriend…”. And “Are you just lying to yourself?” rank among my favourites.

You may be asked about your potential confusion, your certainty about your sexual orientation and weird inquiries into your sexual activity. Clarify as well as you can: I am sure I’m not straight; I’m not changing who I am anytime soon; and please don’t ask about my sex life, mom.

Own it. You’re out. You might as well be proud.

Step 2: Accept that not everyone will react well to this. And embrace those who offer their support.

Ignoring the not-so-nice stares I got while manning the stand for my college’s LGBTQ society, I have only met with one adverse reaction regarding my sexuality. Sadly, it came from one of my best friends, which made it much harder to deal with than hateful comments from strangers.

He reacted badly so I reacted in kind. This person who claimed to love me unconditionally was calling me greedy and a liar, was telling me how to think about the nuances of sexuality, was generally just being a dick; but I was in such a state of shock that he was voicing all these nasty opinions that I almost started to believe them. I yelled, he yelled, I cried. We don’t talk as much these days.

You may be surprised by who turns against you when you open that closet door. And the only way to survive these emotionally challenging and draining situations is to utilise the supports around you.

I leaned heavily on my mother during this; I have friends who aren’t so lucky. If you fall into this category, don’t be afraid to seek help from the supports that are there for you. If you’re in Limerick like me, My Diversity in the Red Ribbon Project will lend a hand. BeLonG To is the resource for Dubliners, and has a convenient list of all the support groups in the country.

Just because the road is rough doesn’t mean you have to trek it alone.

Step 3: Don’t binge away your troubles. Be constructive instead.

I have the utmost respect and envy for the people in this world who deal with their problems without a self piteous binge. Particularly with a public outing, you may garner more attention than usual. This can be both a blessing and curse, depending on whether you prefer to throw on your biker boots and raise the profile of LGBT equality, or pop on your cloak of invisibility and run away.

In either case, whether you smoke, drink, overeat or do something altogether more damaging when you’re down, this is not the time to go overboard. No matter how stressful life may get at this time, treat your body well and don’t add lethargy, a severe hangover and other people’s judgement into the mix of how crappy your day might seem.

Do things that make you feel amazing. Get active in the LGBT community, meet new people, take a political stance. If you want to stay away from the scene completely, take a trip, spend some time with your friends, get a massage, watch re-runs of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Just think of this as another interesting anecdote you can add to your autobiography.

The hard part’s over. You’re out. Time to join the party!

Related posts:

1. On being a bisexual with a boyfriend
2. Coming out to the team
3. Coming out

Left to right: Brian Tinsley, Eleanor McEvoy, Orla Tinsley, Patricia Tinsley, Miriam O’Callaghan.
Image: Orla Tinsley

Orla Tinsley appeared on RTÉ Radio 1′s Miriam Meets at the weekend, speaking with her parents, Brian and Patricia, to Miriam O’Callaghan about her life and experiences.

Some readers may already be familiar with Orla, in her capacity as a campaigner for people with cystic fibrosis (CF) and as a journalist with The Irish Times.

In her autobiography, Salty Baby, she wrote about coming out both to herself and to her parents. Towards the end of Miriam Meets, Orla discussed with Miriam O’Callaghan how she came to understand her sexuality and the decision to include this aspect of her personal life in the book.

Here’s a snippet:

Miriam O’Callaghan: How’s your love life, by the way?

Orla Tinsley: Oh, em.. No comment! [laughter] No, nothing exciting going on.

MO’C: Is it true that you’re bisexual?

OT: Yeah, sure. If you want to call it that, that’s fine. Yeah, totally, I started having crushes on girls when I was around 10 or something, and my poor parents didn’t know what was going on. Maybe they did! I didn’t know what was going on! But yeah, definitely.

I wrote about it in my book as well because – some people said, “You don’t need to mention that, why would you mention that?” and I was like, “Why wouldn’t I mention it?” If I’m talking about my relationships with men, why wouldn’t I talk about my relationships with women? You know, it’s just who I am.

And that’s the funny thing about CF as well, it just makes you see that all of this crap about “You should be a certain way, you shouldn’t be a certain way”, that’s absolute rubbish. You just be who you are, and that’s it, you know?

MO’C: And I know you don’t like the word “inspiring”, but other young people reading your book who themselves might have different forms of sexuality – that gives them the courage, too, to be open, because there’s nothing worse than spending your life hiding who you are, do you think, Brian?

Brian Tinsley: Absolutely…

Patricia Tinsley: As long as you’re happy.

BT: …In one sense, you’re kind of thinking that it shouldn’t be mentioned because you’re mentioning something – I know that the reality is that bisexuality or anything other than a so-called “normal” – by talking about it you’re almost making it abnormal in some kind of a way.

PT: Do you introduce somebody as, “So-and-so, but she’s heterosexual”? You know, does it matter really? As long as the person is happy and honest within themselves and believes in themselves.

OT: And when you are honest in yourself, for me, I felt so free when I came out like that. It took a few years, because I would start coming out and then you’d almost forget that you’ve come out and you have to keep coming out again, but it just makes you feel a whole – your whole self – as opposed to that you’re hiding something, or that you feel there’s a part of you. Because it makes you angry not being able to be who you are, and you should just be able to be who you are. Because life is short, you know?

MO’C: It’s liberating, I think, because you only have one life.

(Love you, Miriam!)

Have a listen to the whole show. And have a read!

No related posts.

Stone Butch Blues (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Being at a loose end for a good read, I started asking friends what would be on their “essential reading” list. The same title kept coming up over and over again, “Stone Butch Blues”  by Leslie Feinberg. My confession that I hadn’t yet read it caused my dear roommate to actually sprint from the room to retrieve her well-loved copy from her bookshelf, placing it solemnly into my hands as if handing me a rite of passage.

I think everyone knows the feeling of being lost between the pages of an amazing book, but I laughed to break up the seriousness of the moment. After all, when do you expect to be simply handed something that will change your life so profoundly? I embarked on this journey with the scarcest of details about what the story contained, and I can honestly say that, for me,  I don’t think any novel will quite measure up to the emotional rollercoaster contained within these pages.

This fictional account from Feinberg takes inspiration from zer life. The story is an unflinching portrayal of the life of Jess Goldberg, intertwining stories from colleagues, friends, and lovers; men, women, he-shes, butches and femmes alike. Jess “comes out as a young butch lesbian in the pre-stonewall gay drag bars of a blue-collar town” in the 1950s, with their life story laced around profound historical moments, such as the Stonewall riots, the rise of unions, and feminist liberation.

There is an element of aching loneliness in the characters struggling with the complexities of a transgender existence, their gender expression, identity and sexuality; an experience that anyone who has ever felt ostracised or different will resonate with. It is ultimately a wrenching story of survival, giving context to the oppression and alienation felt by those in our community, and those suffering from the criminality of homophobia.

From page one you are welcomed into the brutal reality of Jess’ life, as it opens with a letter full of the raw honesty and familiarity you expect when writing to a lover. The seat-belts are securely fastened, the barrier down, and the rollercoaster has started along the tracks. From that moment you’re caught, locked into this journey however it unfolds.

Many tears were spilled on this journey, and more than once, I was brought to uncontrollably sobbing, forced to put the book down so as not to drench the pages. Set around the time of the stonewall riots, I emoted with those who lived during this integral part of our history. However you just need to look at the news to realise that for far too many people, this is still their present; they’re fighting it every day. To quote a line from the novel, “Imagine a world worth living in, a world worth fighting for”.

Sometimes you need to look at the achievements of those before us to find the passion to keep fighting for what we all deserve. This novel re-awakened that spark in me.

For me, Stone Butch Blues is not just essential reading, but essential to own and have on your bookshelf. There has never been a better time to buy as spring 2013 heralds the release of a special 20^th anniversary edition, with the dedication and proceeds going to the CeCe McDonald campaign. I won’t share any more details; instead I urge you to read and feel that spark ignite in yourself.

Trigger Warning: This story is rife with abuse and homophobia/transphobia.

Related articles

• Leslie Feinberg Arrested in Solidarity with CeCe McDonald (queerd.com)

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If the name sounds familiar to you, and it should, then you are a soccer fan like myself and love to see as much women’s soccer as you can (if not look here).  The women’s world cup last year was deservedly well publicised and Megan’s contribution to the USA team was amazing, for me, typified by that pin point cross in the semi final against Brazil.  It was the 122nd minute and she placed the ball on teammate Abby Wambach’s head, she had to score, what a moment for both players to savour.

Megan never hid her sexuality, her coming out isn’t exactly a surprise, but that shouldn’t take away from what it is she is doing.  She is standing up and coming out in a position of great importance, so many young people, both boys and girls, really look up to sports stars and with the Olympics starting later this month, she has timed her statement to perfection.  In the interview she simply says

For the record: I am gay

Love it.

Her girlfriend of three years is also a soccer player, Sarah Walsh, she is a striker for Sydney FC and Australia.  How cool would it be if the USA played Australia, sadly the Ozzie’s didn’t qualify for the Olympics but perhaps one day.

When asked about the disparity beween coming out in the women’s game as opposed to the mens, Rapinoe says

In female sports, if you’re gay, most likely your team knows it pretty quickly, it’s very open and widely supported. For males, it’s not that way at all. It’s sad.

It is indeed sad, men seem to come out here and there in other sports but only one or two soccer players have ever made that move.  Lets hope Megan’s courageous moves shows them it can be done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebimfRVBWY4

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Six-pack beard

From Gaelick Contributor Kristine

“Auntie Kris? Which one of JLS d’ye like mostest?”

I glanced up from my Robert Harris crime novel (I know I’m a big geek!), just in time to witness the four members of JLS proclaiming their love to a (at the risk of quoting Peter Andre) ‘mysterious girl.’

“Oh…er…Marvin.” I replied, vaguely remembering the name being mentioned when the band had been on the X Factor. Truth be told, I hadn’t a notion which one Marvin was.

“Me too.” My niece grinned, before changing to another chart station as Nicole Sherzinger pounced onto the screen.

Disappointed at Ms.Sherzinger’s disappearance, I continued to read. However, later that night, when my babysitting duties had ended, I found myself thinking back on our whole JLS moment. Maybe it was the realisation that I would never share a genuine mutual ‘crush’ on a member of a boyband with my niece, or the fact that I felt that I couldn’t tell her the truth – that it was in fact the gorgeous Nicole that I found irresistible, yet whichever the reason, I found myself feeling quite sad over the whole thing.

Her ignorance with regard to my sexuality was soon to be short lived, her new-found knowledge coming to my attention over the course of a dinner in my brother’s house.

“My Mammy and Daddy said you like girls,” my niece said calmly, before scooping some potato into her mouth. Almost choking on my turnip, I cast an inquisitive glance at her parents.

“She was asking why you didn’t have a boyfriend,” her Dad explained, “it’s no big deal.”

Her Mam nodded assent, “Yeah Kris, don’t worry about it.”

“Was (insert name of my ex girlfriend) your girlfriend?” My niece continued, undeterred by the mound of food in her mouth. “Is that why you were always on the phone to her?”

I nodded, unsure of what exactly to say. I felt surprisingly uneasy. In hindsight I think I was afraid that she would somehow disapprove, much in the same way that my peers did when I was a few years older than her.

“She was nice.” Was her final opinion on the matter, before asking her Dad if there was ice cream for dessert.

However, this was not the last we were to hear of it.

“Amy told her teacher that her auntie liked girls,” my brother informed me a few weeks later.

My initial response, as was his, was to laugh, but this was soon to be replaced with genuine concern. Who else was she repeating this to in school, and what would be the consequences? We all know that kids can be cruel. I didn’t want a situation arising where she would be teased, whether now or in a few years time, when kids had a better understanding (or misunderstanding) of what it was to be gay.

Hearing that her teachers response was one of silence didn’t ease my worries. Couldn’t this silence have been misinterpreted by my niece as disapproval? Shouldn’t her teacher have responded, albeit briefly, in a positive manner upon hearing this? Wasn’t my niece’s decision to inform her teacher of this in fact her way of seeking assurance on the matter? Teachers at that age for children are important role models, authority figures that like parents, instil in children the rights and wrongs of life and behaviour. So was her decision to say nothing wise or irresponsible?

My Mam is 100% cool with me being gay; however when she heard that my niece had been told about my sexuality, and had subsequently informed her teacher, she wasn’t best pleased. She felt that my niece was too young for the word ‘gay’ to have been introduced into her vocabulary. Upon hearing from my brother that this word was never used, and that my niece had simply been told that ‘her Auntie Kris liked girls not boys’ no more and no less, she was still unsure as to whether their decision to tell her was wise.

And so it got me thinking, what is the right age to bring up the whole ‘gay’ thing with kids? Were my niece’s parents right in their decision, or should they have waited another few years, until she could perhaps better comprehend the information being given?

Having considered the matter, I actually think that they were, in fact, right to tell her. Surely if every parent did the same, in a manner in which the information given and the language used was suitable for the child’s age; wouldn’t it seriously decrease the risks of LGBT kids being bullied in schools? After all, kids are not born homophobic. If the whole issue of being gay is introduced as being quite normal from a very young age, isn’t the likelihood of children accepting their peers who turn out to be LGBT in years to come, much greater? Or in fact, themselves?

As for my Mam’s concern that my niece was too young to comprehend this new found information – that her Auntie ‘liked girls’ – I think she was underestimating children and their capacity to understand and absorb information. In fact, as I reluctantly allowed her and her sister (my two-year-old niece), to give me a makeover which involved layers of eye shadow, lip-gloss and nail varnish, she once again revealed her understanding that her Auntie doesn’t like boys.

This occurred when I complimented them on their work on beautifying their Auntie, saying that it had resulted in making her ‘marriage material.’

“You will have to marry a girl though,” my niece pointed out, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.

Perhaps taking it too far, I briefly informed her on our whole marriage situation here in Ireland, before listing off some other countries were marriage between same sex couples was in fact allowed.

“It’s silly you can’t get married here though,” was her response. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

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From Gaelick Contributor Kristine

“So…any plans for tonight?”
I raised my eyes to the reflection of my hairdresser in the rectangular mirror which faced me. Maybe it was the post Pride March ‘out and proud’ feelings that still lingered from the previous afternoon, or the Post Pride celebration fatigue that rendered me incapable of racking my brains for one of my usual answers – some straight club/pub in Temple Bar that I had never set one inch of my Converse inside – but this time I decided to answer her question honestly. “Just a few pints in The George,” I said as casually as I could; now looking with great interest at the copy of NOW magazine which resided on my lap.

“Sounds nice and relaxing,” She replied, her bubbly tone unchanged. “I wouldn’t mind a few beers later myself. Gorgeous out isn’t it?”
And so there we have it. My first direct, in person ‘coming out’ experience to someone who was not within my immediate family or close circle of friends… and nobody died.

That particular milestone took place two years ago, and in hindsight, I don’t know what I was expecting. Perhaps a dirty look or an unconscious impulse on her behalf to pull up her low cut top? I know a ridiculous reaction not to mention a highly unlikely one in this day and age. So why was I expecting the worst? Well, I think it all stems back to the reactions that I received towards my sexuality when I was growing up. Now, before I am hailed as some amazing lesbian who knew exactly who she was at the age of 9 years of age and fought for gay rights in the sandbox, to say I was ‘outed’ rather than that I ‘came out’ of my own volition, sums up my adolescent years more truthfully.

Let’s just say the people who either guessed or whom I confided in about my sexuality didn’t exactly make me feel as if fancying girls was something to be OK with. In fact, that’s an understatement. Through dirty looks or sly comments, which were thrown my way and uttered either in the halls of my secondary school or by teammates of an all girl’s football team (half of whom I have spotted inside The George), I was made to feel ashamed. As if I were a convicted criminal or a deviant sexual predator.

Perhaps to anyone who has not received such negative feedback in regard to who they are, these comparisons may seem slightly dramatic. Yet, these feelings are a common experience that many people are made to feel and have felt upon ‘coming out’ or being ‘outed,’ as a youth. I remember in particular, one occasion where I was watching a DVD in my best friend’s bedroom. A knock came at the door. It was a girl who my best friend was also friends with, whom knew through connections of hers that I was gay or at least suspected of being so (suspected, it even has connotations of the word criminal.) I will never forget her response upon hearing that my best friend at the time had been upstairs watching a film with me. “What’s SHE doing up there?”.

Her suggestion was further fuelled by the fact that she had heard from someone that I fancied my best friend in question (which I did, how many of us haven’t had one of these harmless unrequited crushes?). Needless to say, I didn’t particularly enjoy the remainder of the film.

Now, I know her reaction was in itself ridiculous and extremely homophobic, but on top of that, like most young women who are unsure of their sexuality or frightened of it, the thought of even holding a girls hand had my stomach in knots, so I was far from attempting to jump her or something. Heck, even now, being a lot more comfortable with my sexuality and everything that goes along with it, I wouldn’t jump any friend! That’s just called having respect for other people and their space.

Believe me, I could continue to list a myriad of negative reactions that I received towards my sexuality when I was younger, but my main point in writing this article is to raise the fact that ‘coming out’ as such, never really stops. We almost feel that once we have come out to say our parents or our friends, that that is it. End of. The whole world knows who we truly are and now we never have to go through such an uncertain and scary experience again.

However, as our lives progress, we see that that is not the case. Friends come and go, even perhaps the location of the place we called home changes, and with this the whole ‘coming out’ cycle starts again. An ‘I’m a lesbian’ memo is not forwarded to every person that you will encounter and become acquainted with in the future, and why should it be many will argue. While I agree that someone’s sexuality is their own personal business, can you realistically hide your sexual orientation from even the most fair-weathered friendship with a ‘straight friend’, or even a work colleague in the long run, and why should you?

Now, at 24 years of age, having received great support within the gay community and having made a number of good friends along the way, I feel much more confident when questioned about my sexuality. However, I can’t deny, that right before my initial ‘I’m a gay’ omission, that those past feelings of dread and shame haunt me, albeit to a much lesser degree, and from speaking to other lesbians, I know that I am not the only one who sometimes feels this way.

In fact, when I told a lesbian friend of mine about this article, she too confessed to lying to her hairdresser about the venues of her nights out for the past number of years, while she also confided in me that she had not yet told a new female friend in college, to whom she had become quite close, that she was a lesbian, out of fear that the girl would distance herself from her.

So, while I feel that some people don’t share their sexuality with some ‘straight’ people that they associate with in their life due to their belief that their sexuality is nobody’s business but their own, I feel that despite the LGBT communities mantra of being ‘out and proud’, there are still many gay people who, although are ‘out and proud’ when mixing with other LGBT people, are not as confident in their orientation when spending time with people who are outside of the LGBT community, and therefore decide against divulging their sexual orientation to the aforementioned people (although it is almost seen as treason within the LGBT community to admit such a thing!)

Perhaps for those of us who still feel slightly nauseous right before we utter the words ‘I’m gay’ to a new ‘straight’ friend, thus feeling as if we are almost doing the ‘out and proud’ mentality of the LGBT community a disservice, this is just a form of Post Traumatic Stress rearing its ugly head? After all, wouldn’t it be understandable that those of us who received negative feedback during our adolescence are predisposed to being more secretive regarding our sexual orientation in the here and now? It would go some way towards explaining this fear around ‘coming out’ to new people as our lives progress. After all, in 2012 being a lesbian thankfully is not seen by the majority of people as being a bad thing (and nor should it be), so why are some of us still stuck in the past?

Then again, maybe some gay people choose not to ‘come out’ amongst certain people for fear of their own personal safety? After all, the recent homophobic attack and subsequent tragic death of Canadian gay journalist Raymond Taavel shows that despite the great progression the global LGBT community has made towards tackling homophobia, it still unfortunately exists.

However, with the help of campaigns such as STAND UP, which youth group Belong 2 have set up with the aim of creating a ‘positive understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered young people and their lives’, and the involvement of gay high profile celebrities such as Mark Feehily from the boyband Westlife, in campaigns which help to raise awareness of homophobic bullying, I think we are on the right road towards ensuring that ‘coming out’ is no longer such a daunting prospect, at any stage in our lives.

Coming Out image is owned by motifake.com

Related posts:

1. How to deal with a very public coming out
2. Coming out to the team
3. Coming out

Gabel is now the first major rock star to come out as transgendered and whilst talking to the magazine she said

I’m going to have embarrassing moments… and that won’t be fun. But that’s part of what talking to you is about – is hoping people will understand, and hoping they’ll be fairly kind

It is great to see another person in the limelight come out, each person who stands up in this way helps educate society about gender and transitioning and someone such as Gabel will reach people from various walks of life and I’m sure will inspire many.  The reaction has been positive and that’s also great to see and a testament to those who have gone before.

This the same week that RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 3 finalist Carmen Carrera also came out as trans, she says

I am now in the long process of transitioning from male to female.  Transitioning is a life-changing decision. It’s empowering. I plan on finishing the long and risky hormone-replacement therapy process, while continuing my work in television and movies. I look forward to being a positive role model for the transgender community

Well done to both of them, I’m sure they will indeed be positive role models to countless people.

Related posts:

1. Iron Lady for Marriage Equality
2. Coming out to the team
3. Leanne Harte at The Odessa Club!

From Gaelick Contributor Dil Wickremasinghe (right)

The first time I went to a gay bar was the Candy Bar in Soho in London, I was 23 years old. I had an extremely sheltered upbringing as my parents were Jehovah’s Witnesses so stepping into a gay space where I was going to meet another lesbian for the first time in my life was quite simply terrifying for me!

Sure enough what I saw was more than I could handle at the time – butch, femme, suits, ties, leather, chains, shaved heads, torn T-shirts, studs, tattoos, piercings… I remember my brain was struggling to take it all in! I remember being anxious as I asked myself again the questions that were haunting me for so many years… “Is this really me? Am I really a lesbian?” It was a brand new world for me and I remember feeling very far from being proud as I felt frightened, confused and painfully inadequate.

Most members of our community would have similar stories of when they first came out as we didn’t have an alternative. Many of us overcame the initial nerves and awkwardness by sheer brute force often fueled by alcohol and drugs which led to a multitude of other issues such as addiction and STD’s.

Imagine for a minute if your first experience of the LGBTQ community was in a safe, nurturing and supportive environment? Where you would have an opportunity to explore your sexuality and become self-aware and connect with other women who have just started their journey of self-discovery.

Outhouse created this space in the Women’s Personal Development Course having sourced funding from the Dublin VEC and engaged Diversity Equality Works to facilitate it. The course is designed to facilitate the personal development of each participant and help them to reach their full potential. During the 6 week course emphasis is put on the importance of self-awareness, goal-setting, planning, decision-making, problem solving, good communication, building relationships, wellness and contributing to the community.

Many LGBTQ people are marginalised and isolated from their family and community through the “coming out” process which is often the culmination of many years of soul searching and great pain. This often results in leaving school early, working in low paid jobs and leading to huge lack of confidence and personal wellbeing. As a consequence this often manifests itself in alcohol and drug abuse and lack of opportunity. Lesbians face unique barriers within the LGBTQ and the greater community and this course is designed with their needs in mind.

The course creates an opportunity for women to explore alternatives in their lives, to develop self-confidence, to do things in a new way and to make solid plans to reach their goals. It is a way to discover more about yourself, your own abilities and what may be holding you back from living life to your full potential.

The Women’s Personal Development course is unique and empowers participants by encouraging them to access their own resources through weekly motivational sessions in a supportive, non-judgemental and confidential environment.

The next Women’s Personal Development course will commence on Wednesday 2nd May at 7pm to 10pm for 6 weeks in Outhouse, 105, Capel Street, Dublin 1. It’s free and places are limited, book your place by emailing admin@outhouse.ie or telephone (01) 873 4999

Dil Wickremasinghe is a Broadcaster with Newstalk 106-108 FM, a Social Entrepreneur, Trainer and Stand Up Comedian. Check out her website here

Related posts:

1. Pride Champagne Breakfast at Outhouse!
2. Waiting for same sex marriage

• This just in from our roving reporter in studentville, Soapie:

This week DIT’s LGBT Society will be holding DIT Rainbow Week 2012. With workshops galore, there’ll be speakers on trans issues, a homophobia discussion and a coming out workshop – not to mention bake sales and quizzes.

Kicking off today, Monday, we’ve Rebecca De Havalland, Ireland’s first recognized transgender woman, to speak about her journey. The talk will be held in DIT’s Aungier Street campus at 6pm, with light refreshments afterwards.

The Coming Out Workshop, on Tuesday, will act as a safe, inclusive space to LGBT students. Anyone querying coming out, head down to the Black Box Theatre in the basement of DIT Aungier Street for 4pm.

The same evening there’ll be the Homophobia panel discussion, held by USI LGBT Rights Officer Siobhán McGuire. The panel will feature “Growing up Gay” producer and “Hold on Tight” director Anna Rodgers, and Senator Katherine Zaponne. This will be held in DIT Aungier Street too at 7pm.

Bake sales will take over DIT on Wednesday hitting the Kevin Street, Cathal Brugha Street and Mountjoy Square campuses from 8:30am to 1pm. As the posters say, “Om Nom Nom Nom Nom.”

That evening, at 8pm, Panti will be hosting the Rainbow Quiz in aid of Aware. Held in Pantibar, on Capel Street, it promises great prizes from Nandos, Lush, Havana Tapas Bar, Foam Café & Gallery, Lemon Jelly Café, Burritos & Blues, Irish Film Institute, Lunatic Fringe, DIT LGBT Soc, Stephen Thomas Male Grooming, Pantibar, Boojum and many more! Tables are €25 for 4/5 people.

Louise Hannon and Broden Giambrone of the Transgender Equality Network of Ireland will visit DIT Aungier Street on Thursday, 9th February, to speak about transphobia and their own experiences of it. The talk will start at 6pm, with light refreshments afterwards.

Thursday night at 8:30pm will mark the opening of the DIT Rainbow Week Closing Party. DIT LGBT Soc and DJ Soc will be managing the tunes for the night in SOLAS Bar on Wexford Street.

A fantastic week of events, it looks to be highly informative and a great way of lending support to some much needed causes. I look forward to seeing a few of you there. Be proud!

• DIT Rainbow Week FB event
• DIT Rainbow Week FB page
• DIT Rainbow Week on Twitter
• DIT LGBT Soc website

Related posts:

1. TENI Fundraiser Table Quiz
2. 4th European Transgender Conference
3. True Love (BBC 1) starts tonight!

Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen the last couple of episodes.

Not-so-quick recap:

When we first met Santana, she was 2nd queen bee at Mckinley. Only behind Quinn Fabray in high school royalty, she had power. Nobody questioned her. She was a dream girl and it seemed like pandering to some porno stereotype when we discovered she was having sex with her gorgeous bff, Brittany. Of course, Glee, as Glee does, turned the trope on its head when it was revealed that they weren’t just messing around, but they had feelings.

The story is really simple: The week before (Mash-Off), Finn told Santana she was being a coward for not being open about her feelings for Brittany. In the school hallway. At McKinley. Of course, some pizza mogul congressional candidate’s niece overheard the conversation and made sure her uncle knew. He, in turn, used it in a political ad to attack Sue Sylvester’s commitment to family values and also to imply that, like her head cheerleader, Sue may be into the lady loving herself. He, kindly, gave the crew a heads up before the ad went live.

Santana, who hadn’t told her parents, or anyone other than Brittany really, unless you count singing “Landslide” as coming out (some do), was understandably distraught and slapped Finn in front of both glee clubs.

Suddenly (in the next episode, I Kissed a Girl), McKinley has an anti-violence policy and Santana is about to be suspended.Finn recants and tells everyone it was a stage slap. Then he tells Santana that unless she comes crooning out of the flannel closet, he’ll get her suspended. Oh yeah, you can see where tempers are getting a bit fired up. (Does this remind anyone else of Will setting Finn up for possession of weed to make him join Glee club?)

Santana tells her parents, who are actually cool with the whole idea, and then the ad airs. She’s threatened with corrective rape by some douchebag sophomore rugby head. The glee girls from both New Directions and the Troubletones come to the rescue, with Quinn and Rachel doing the bulk of the talking, because Santana is suddenly tongue-tied. Remember what Brittany said about Santana lashing back with her vicious words? Yeah, not so much now. It’s harder, you know, because nobody ever made her feel that freaking vulnerable before.

So the the glee club assignment is now formulated to make Santana feel as awkward as possible, so they sing songs that are written by women, for women. Puck sings a thin rendition of Melissa Etheridge’s “I’m the Only One” to his teacher, the glee girls sing “I Kissed a Girl” as they rescue Santana from the aforementioned douchebag, Kurt and Blaine (the cutest couple alive, sorry Brittana) sing “F*cking Perfect” without the “F*cking” and Santana is not impressed.

This is where it was jarring for me. “F*cking Perfect” was a fantastic queer solidarity anthem for Glee. The happy couple, both having been victims of anti-gay violence, sing about the happiness and comfort they’ve found. And Santana rejects it, outright. When blackmailing-Finn sings a slow, kind of boring, version of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, Santana is touched. She appreciates it.

Thoughts, feelings:

A lot of people were really confused.

But it actually all makes sense. And it gives a powerful voice to the people who’ve been questioning the impact of hopeful-future stories like the “It Gets Better” project, too.

The problem is, it doesn’t start better. And the people telling her these stories are not the people that, frankly, matter.

Santana has seen Kurt’s story from his coming out to his happily-ever-after half of the couple-known-throughout-the-land-as-Klaine. One of her greatest fears is to be Kurt. And, of course, she won’t be. She hasn’t spent most of her life struggling with how she performs her gender and the questions that raises. She has never had any reason to identify with queer culture at all. Except, of course, that she’s gay.

The problem is that, for Santana, she already has her Blaine. She has Brittany, and that hasn’t solved all her problems. In fact, her feelings for Brittany are actually the problem. Her abuela (grandmother) has rejected her. She can’t see her path in Kurt’s except for the hurt and the torment and the tears.

Like most of us, she didn’t come out and immediately seek the approval of queer society. She came out and wanted her peers to approve, even in fail-ally ways. Kurt is in no way Santana’s peer, socially speaking. So when Quinn sticks up for her and Finn sings her a song, that works for her.

So it has to make us think about the impact of the “It Gets Better Project”, because it is specifically mentioned in the episode (when Finn said he’s worried Santana would die by suicide like Jamey Rodermeyer) and very much referenced in the Kurt and Blaine performance. What is the benefit of it exactly? Are these videos really providing the kind of hope and acceptance that gay youth need?

Glee (at least Santana) says no. Santana needed the approval of her family and friends. In that coming out moment, when it all seems so scary, it doesn’t matter that your friends are really sucky gay allies. It matters that they’re trying and they’re still your friend and it can all stay something like it was.

Related posts:

1. Is the good Glee ship Brittana headed for the rocks?

Let me start by saying I am out. Very out. Out in work, out in my life, out to the stage where myself and the better half have been in a couple of newspapers and had a random person in work come up and congratulate me. Not on being out, on getting wed So why on earth am I having an issue with coming out again?

I train with a kickboxing club, it’s good for fitness and it’s great for stress relief, I cannot recommend it enough. I have seen these people on a fairly regular basis over the last few years and on a Saturday there’s a women’s-only class, which I attend and would do chit chat with them. I let it slip a few weeks ago that I am getting married (on Friday week if you want to know the exact

date Cards can be sent to Gaelick HQ.)

I’m very excited about it, naturally, and so it just bubbled out. A couple of the women have been chatting excitedly back and forth the last couple of weeks about it, basic snippets of conversation but I feel like I am lying to them everytime I play the prounoun game. What is wrong with me? Why on earth should I care at this stage in my life? Why didn’t I just say “her” at the start?

As I was saying to my friend whilst ranting over how silly I am being about it, is there ever going to be a stage where one doesn’t have to come out? When the youngster has moved us into a lovely little ole nursing home and the lady who runs it asks if we are okay with a double room?! Who knows!

Am I afraid they won’t talk to me? They’ll decide to use their martial arts against me? What?! I don’t get it. I was so close last week when one of the girls asked how long I’d been going out with my partner, I have a feeling she knows as she never used husband, boyfriend, or the he word in general. I said 12 years and she replied “Long enough!” That was my opening to say “well its only been legal this year” but I became a nervous fumbling wreck! I was so annoyed with myself. So, I have my last Sat class with them for a few weeks this Saturday and I am going to bite the bullet and just go for it. More than likely the convo won’t come up. If only they had Ninja lesbian t-shirts I’d be sorted

No related posts.

What makes her outing interesting to me is the logic being used by the person responsible for the story. Christoph Topitschnig’s website V-Generation has published a couple stories about Ellen Page. There are no bylines so I’m going to go ahead and attribute all the writing to Mr Topitschnig himself.

Previously, I would have thought that most people would be in agreement with how Rachel Maddow worded her ethics of outing.

I’ve long held three basic beliefs about the ethics of coming out:

1. Gay people — generally speaking — have a responsibility to our own community and to future generations of gay people to come out, if and when we feel that we can.
2. We should all get to decide for ourselves the “if and when we feel that we can” part of that.
3. Closeted people should reasonably expect to be outed by other gay people if (and only if) they prey on the gay community in public, but are secretly gay themselves.

I also believe that coming out makes for a happier life, but that’s not a matter of ethics, that’s just corny advice.
Rachel Maddow, Maddowblog

In a previous poll, our readers voted on what they believed were the rules for outing. Half believed outing was never acceptable. 42% believed that it was acceptable if the individual being outed was in some way a hypocrite. 6% of people who answered the poll said that it was always acceptable to out people. This end of the argument is best represented by gossip blogger, Perez Hilton, who says:

It upsets me that people think what I’m doing is a bad thing. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. If you know something to be a fact, why not report it? Why is that still taboo?I know there is some controversy about outing people, but I also believe the only way we’re gonna have change is with visibility. And if I have to drag some people screaming out of the closet, then I will. I think that lot of celebrities have an archaic fear that being gay will hurt their career but look at Rosie. Look at Ellen.
MSNBC

Topitschnig’s reasoning for outing Ellen Page is that he believes she’s being duplicitous because she publicly supports gay rights but remains quiet about her own sexuality. He, like Perez Hilton and Rachel Maddow, points to visibility as an important tool in giving hope to young gay people and asserts,

Ellen Page intentionally portrays herself as open-minded and honest person who stands for her believes. But her actions tell me that she is nothing more than just another Hollywood actor who is more concerned about a good public image and a good business deal.
Christoph Topitshnig, V-Generation

In another post that he wrote earlier, he accused Page of “flaunting” her sexuality in public. I’m curious how one can be called closeted if they are pretty open about being in public with their same-sex partners.

I asked the question “Have the ethics of outing changed?” on my Twitter and most people replied with no, commenting that the author of that post is out of line (I’m paraphrasing the less polite answers).

Writer and actor Racheline Maltese was the only one to answer differently.

The ethics of outing are changing. I think the argument if is we let people stay in the closet, we are accepting shame as valid. Of course, that ignores safety issues and personal right to privacy. On the other hand, at least in Hollywood, I am so over people staying closeted for the sake of their careers. I’m still not going to out people, but I do get where the impetus is coming from.

Nobody is going to argue that visibility isn’t what has got us as far as we are now, and that it realistically will be what gets us all the way to equality. Unfortunately, it’s like trying to find your glasses when you’re not wearing them. Until we have equality (and even after it, really), it will be a different kind of dangerous for everyone to come out. What we risk, individually, varies.

50 years ago, everyone faced serious, significant risk to all areas of their lives. Happily, that’s no longer the case. We hear more and more coming out stories where the reaction is positive — families who are prepared and able to support their queer children, friends and schools and even churches who are happy to embrace queer kids. That’s not the case for everyone, but it’s reality for an increasing number of people.

Could this generational experience of albeit limited acceptance be driving a change in how we view a celebrity’s reluctance to come out? For decades, many of us have experienced intense personal and professional losses for coming out, and while we did it, we understood why others would not. We knew, better than anyone, why someone would remain closeted.

But queer kids now are (happily) less and less likely to have these devastating experiences (many still will, of course) and may be far less patient with wealthy twenty-somethings with body guards who are still somehow terrified.

Related posts:

1. World Pride Power List 2012

Steve is no small fry in the game either, at 24 he currently stars for Surrey as wicket-keeper and batsman.  He is a full international, not only that, he was picked as part of the recent ashes tour to Oz (that’s a big deal by the way).  Steve has said that

I’m comfortable with who I am – and happy to say who I am in public… to speak out is a massive relief for me, but if I can just help one person to deal with their sexuality then that’s all I care about.

Davies says he came out to family and friends around five years ago and it’s great to see that he has decided to come out publicly at the height of his career.  In an interview with the Telegraph Steve says he told team director Andy Flower first, he goes on to say that he and team captain Andy Strauss have supported him 100%.  In relation to his team mates he says

It was a fantastic thing to do, telling the lads. The difference is huge. I am so much happier

It’s no surprise that hearing of how Gareth Thomas’ brave decision to come out helped encourage Davis.  Thomas has said

The ECB should send out its own message that Steven must be respected, then there wouldn’t be any abuse…You wouldn’t tolerate racism so why would you tolerate any other kind of discrimination?

It would be great if he in turn inspired yet more sports personalities to do the same.  It’s one area sadly lacking in strong LGBT figureheads.

No related posts.

It all came together with the It Gets Better campaign last year and it looks like people posting on youtube and its competitors are going to continue to help our family members come out and deal with the crap life throws at us.

The most important It Gets Better message came from the Prez himself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzcAR6yQhF8

My personal favourite is this catchy tune (thanks Gooner!), you’ll be singing it for days:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfQJ_V9K3EM

There lots of them over on It Gets Better’s video page

It’s not just there that people are telling their stories. One of our readers (thanks Anita!) brought this gem to our attention. Kayla K is a senior in an American high-school, who, on Martin Luther King Day, decided to be out and proud. To her whole school. The bravery of this young woman blows my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InN6bt0B8x0

I know I’m going to sound like a 90 year old, but I’m so proud of the young people in my community. They are courageous, passionate and always there for each other no matter the geographical distance. This generation is making a huge difference to the lives of all of us, no matter how old. And the internet is giving them the perfect tool.

No related posts.

Who is she I hear you ask?  Well this kitty cat is the daughter of TV and radio personality Jonathan Ross.  Ross mentioned his 19 year old daughter’s sexuality on the radio saying he just wants his kids to be happy.  Ross was asked how he’d feel is one of his daughters brought a lady home, his reply was simply

Well, my eldest daughter is gay so that’s a question I’ve dealt with on a regular basis already. And providing it’s a nice woman, I’m thrilled

No related posts.